Shattered. Joan Johnston
Читать онлайн книгу.
but he wasn’t interested in anything permanent. Which explained why he’d seemed so upset by her profession of love.
“Have you changed your mind about loving me, Jack?” she asked, struggling to keep her chin from quivering.
“No!” His voice was loud. Harsh. As guttural as his groan of pleasure or his growl of guilt.
“Then why did you stop? Don’t you want to make love to me?”
“My balls ache, I want you so bad,” he said through gritted teeth. “I love you. I want to marry you.”
Kate shook her head in bafflement. “Then why—”
“Holly’s pregnant.”
It took Kate a moment to process what Jack had said. She was trying to figure out what Holly’s pregnancy had to do with Jack not making love to her. And realized what he hadn’t said.
“It’s your baby.”
Jack didn’t bother to confirm what she’d said. He just stood there looking sick at heart.
“When…? How soon…?”
“She got pregnant over Thanksgiving,” he said. “The baby’s due in mid-August.”
Kate felt the heat grow in her cheeks. While she’d been in a coma, Jack had been having sex with his wife.
“I’m sorry, Kate.”
“For what?” she snapped. “Holly’s your wife. She is still your wife, right?”
“She is. But—”
“Does this mean you’ve reconciled? That you’re not getting a divorce?”
“It was an accident,” Jack blurted.
Kate laughed. It wasn’t a nice sound.
“We were arguing and…” He rubbed a hand across his nape. “Aw, hell. That’s how Holly and I settled every argument we ever had during our marriage. It was just…habit.”
“You didn’t take any precautions?”
“She’s forty-one. Neither of us thought she could get pregnant because she’s been… What’s it called?”
“Menopausal?”
“Yeah. She started missing periods and said that was the end of kids for us. So I didn’t think—”
“That’s the understatement of the year,” Kate muttered.
“Look, neither Holly nor I planned for her to get pregnant. It just happened. And now that it has…”
He paused again, and Kate waited to hear the death knell to her dreams of a life with Jack. “And now?”
“I don’t want my child born a bastard.”
Kate’s breath soughed out of her. “I see.”
He didn’t explain further. He didn’t need to. She could see where he was headed.
“I presume that means you’re not getting a divorce.”
“We’re still getting divorced. We’re just not going to sign the papers until after the baby’s born in August,” Jack qualified.
“What if I’m willing to have you live here and make love to me while you’re still, technically, married to Holly?”
He was already shaking his head. “I can’t do that, Kate.”
“Why not?”
“Holly set conditions on us staying married until the baby is born, one of which is that we live together in Houston for the rest of her pregnancy. She has a job at M.D. Anderson.”
Kate felt dizzy. “You’re moving to Houston? To live with Holly?”
“And Ryan.”
Kate felt an awful ache in her chest, felt her eyes brim with sudden tears, as though someone she loved had just died. She fought the sorrow with anger. “Why would Holly want you to live with her? She’s the one who asked for the divorce!”
“She wants to use these few months together to work out some of our differences, so we can be friends again.”
“Friends?” Kate snorted the word as though it was an epithet.
“Holly and I won’t be sleeping together, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
Kate moaned and swayed. She covered her face with her hands and fought back a sob.
Jack crossed the room in three strides and gathered her in his arms. His cheek was pressed close to hers and his voice was gruff as he said, “This is just a hiccup, sweetheart. We’ll be together soon. But I have to do this.”
Kate opened her mouth to tell Jack about the threat she faced from Wyatt Shaw and closed it again without speaking. It would tear Jack in two if he thought she was in trouble and needed him while he was stuck living with his wife in Houston.
“When do you leave?”
“Tonight. I’m helping Holly move in tomorrow.”
Kate startled herself when she burst into tears.
“Honey, sweetheart, please don’t cry,” Jack crooned.
Kate felt him kiss her closed eyes, felt him kiss away the hot tears on her cheeks.
He put a finger under her chin and tipped her face up. “Look at me, Kate.”
He waited patiently until she opened her eyes.
She looked up at Jack through a veil of tears. “It’s not fair, Jack. It’s like fate is conspiring against us.”
“Our day will come, Kate. Sooner than you think.”
But Kate wasn’t so sure. What if Jack fell back in love with his wife? And she’d been counting on Jack to be a buffer between her and Wyatt Shaw.
She swallowed over the painful knot of sorrow—and fear—in her throat and said, “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Hey,” Jack said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “It won’t be so bad. We can talk on the phone every day, and I can visit sometimes on weekends. We have the Internet and texting. If you love me as much as I love you, we can get through this together.”
She didn’t want to be coaxed into compliance. She stiffened in his arms. “You’re still planning to woo me while you’re living with your wife?”
“My very pregnant wife,” Jack pointed out.
“Pregnant women are beautiful.”
“I’m sure you were,” Jack said with a grin. “And I hope you will be again.”
Kate flushed. She was only thirty, with many more childbearing years, she hoped, ahead of her. She laid a palm against Jack’s cheek, which was rough from an early five o’clock shadow, and said, “I would love having a child with you.”
“Give me four months, Kate,” he said, “and we can start to work on it.”
The kiss he gave her was soft, tender, loving. And brief. His gaze was still focused on her mouth as he said, “I’m sorry I have to break our date tonight. I’ll make it up to you. I’d better get out of here before I do something I’ll be sorry for in the morning.”
Kate knew she could tempt him. Even though Jack had said he ought to leave, he was still holding her close. It wouldn’t take much to push him over the edge. He was aroused again—or still. His dark eyes were heavy-lidded, with an avid look that made her pulse leap.
“You’d better go.”