Girl Alone: Part 2 of 3: Joss came home from school to discover her father’s suicide. Angry and hurting, she’s out of control.. Cathy Glass
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do you want?’ she demanded.
‘I told you to stay in tonight,’ I said none too quietly. ‘How dare you disobey me and go out.’
‘Go away,’ she hissed, glancing anxiously around. ‘You can’t make me stay in.’
‘I’m not going home without you. Who are you waiting for?’
‘No one. Leave me alone. I can do what I like.’
‘No, you can’t,’ I said. ‘No one can do as they like all the time, and certainly not at thirteen!’
Joss looked around, clearly embarrassed. It was a warm summer’s evening and people were out, on their way home from work and the shops, and of course I was making a scene.
‘I want you to come home with me now, Joss,’ I said quite loudly. ‘Then we can talk about this.’
‘I’m not coming. I’m waiting for my friends,’ she hissed.
‘Who? Zach?’
She nodded.
‘I’ll wait with you then and explain what’s happened.’
‘You can’t do that. Go home,’ she hissed again.
‘Not unless you come with me.’
‘He’ll be annoyed if he finds you here,’ she said, and it sounded like a threat.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll handle it. Is this where he usually picks you up and drops you off?’ I asked.
‘Yeah. Now go away, will you?’ She looked anxiously up the street.
‘I’m not going anywhere, Joss, without you,’ I confirmed, and remained standing beside her.
‘Oh, shit!’ she suddenly said.
I followed her gaze to the shiny black BMW that was now turning onto the road.
‘He’s here. Go away!’ She tried to elbow me away and a passer-by looked at us.
Clearly the driver of the BMW must have seen us, and for a moment I thought he was going to drive straight past, but then the car slowed and pulled in to the kerb, level with us. I could see Zach at the wheel, Carl in the passenger seat and Chelsea in the rear. The front windows stayed up, but Chelsea lowered her window and looked out.
‘What’s up?’ she asked Joss.
‘She says I can’t go out tonight,’ Joss said.
‘Aww,’ I heard Carl sneer from the front.
‘Come on,’ Chelsea said. ‘Don’t take any notice of her. Get in.’
Much to Chelsea’s surprise, I opened the rear door. ‘Hello, everyone,’ I said, looking in.
‘Hello,’ Zach said sombrely, while Carl gave a snort of derisive laughter. Both lads continued to look straight ahead.
‘Are you getting in or what?’ Chelsea asked Joss.
‘No, she’s not,’ I said. Joss stood beside me, embarrassed, agitated and not knowing what to do.
‘She’s not coming out tonight,’ I confirmed.
‘Do what your carer says,’ Carl sniggered. Then to Zach he said: ‘Come on, man, let’s go. We don’t want any trouble.’ Zach revved the engine.
‘You coming? Last chance,’ Chelsea said to Joss.
‘No, she’s not,’ I said.
‘Close the fucking door, man,’ Carl snarled from the front.
‘Bye then,’ Chelsea said, annoyed, and slammed the door. Immediately the car sped away, tyres screeching.
‘Now look what you’ve done!’ Joss cried, turning to me, close to tears.
My heart was pounding and my legs were like jelly. I hate confrontations, but this one had been essential.
‘I’ve done what is right to keep you safe,’ I said. ‘If I tell you you’re not going out, I mean it.’
‘They’ll all be laughing at me,’ Joss moaned. ‘And why didn’t Zach stick up for me?’
‘Because he’s not the friend you thought he was?’ I offered gently.
‘Yes, he is,’ Joss snapped. ‘It’s you. You’re ruining my life. I want to see my friends and have fun.’ We turned and began back down the street.
‘I’m not trying to stop you from having fun, Joss, but I’m very concerned that the type of fun you’re having at present isn’t safe. Why not invite a friend of your own age home? You could watch a film and eat takeaway pizza.’ This was the type of fun a thirteen-year-old should be having – innocent, age-appropriate fun – but Joss, with all her problems, was missing out on that and trying to bury her sorrow in drink and drugs.
‘Chelsea wouldn’t come,’ Joss said moodily as we walked.
‘Well, invite another friend, then. Perhaps someone from your class?’
‘I haven’t got any other friends,’ Joss said gloomily. ‘Chelsea is my only mate.’
‘I’m sure that isn’t true,’ I said. ‘You’re a nice person – when you’re not angry,’ I added with a smile.
‘No one wants to be my friend,’ Joss said, sadness now replacing anger. ‘They think I’m bad news because I’m always in trouble. Their parents tell them to keep away from me.’
Which I could understand. ‘There is a very obvious solution, Joss,’ I said. ‘Stop getting into trouble, behave yourself and then make some new friends. You don’t have to keep breaking all the rules. It’s not big and it’s not clever. You can change if you want to. Miss Pryce said she’s hoping that after the six-week summer holiday you’ll go back to school and start afresh.’
Joss shrugged despondently. I felt sorry for her now. ‘If I’m still there,’ she said. ‘They might have put me in lock-up by then.’
‘Not if you stop your unsafe behaviour,’ I said. ‘I’m trying to help you do that.’ I pushed open the front garden gate and Joss followed me through. I paused on the doorstep and looked at her. ‘I know you’ve suffered, love, but don’t keep punishing yourself. You can start afresh and have a great life.’
‘What’s the point?’ she said. ‘We all end up dead anyway.’
‘Oh, Joss.’ I touched her arm reassuringly. ‘Let’s go indoors and have a talk. You shouldn’t be feeling like this.’
I unlocked the front door and we went in. I thought Joss might want to talk now and open up a little, but once inside she said, ‘Are Lucy and Paula in?’
‘Yes, they’re in the front room on the computer.’
‘You can come and join us if you like,’ Lucy called, having heard.
‘Yeah, OK.’ Joss disappeared into the front room, all animosity gone.
She spent most of the evening with Paula and Lucy, so it wasn’t until bedtime that I had a chance to talk to her again. Although Joss never wanted a hug or a kiss goodnight, I always looked in on her to make sure she was all right. She was propped up in bed, flipping through a magazine. She loved her girly magazines and seemed to be spending most of her pocket money on them.
‘You had a pleasant evening in the end,’ I said, standing near her bed.
‘It wasn’t bad,’ she returned, concentrating on the magazine.
‘You know what you said about friends?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, Paula and Lucy are your friends.’
‘Yeah, good,’ she said without