A father’s advice to his son

       Sir Henry Sidney served two terms as Lord Deputy of Ireland but is usually remembered today as the father of the celebrated soldier-poet Sir Philip Sidney. His parental advice, offered in a letter to his son while he was at school in Shrewsbury in 1556, has been much repeated over the centuries.

      Son Philip,

      I have received two letters from you, one written in Latin, the other in French: which I take in good part, and will you to exercise that practice of learning often; for that will stand you in most stead in that profession of life that you are born to live in. And now, since this is my first letter that I ever did write to you, I will not that it be all empty of some advice which my natural care of you provoketh me to wish you to follow, as documents to you in this your tender age.

      Let your first action be the lifting up of your mind to Almighty God by hearty prayer; and feelingly digest the words you speak in prayer, with continual meditation and thinking of Him to whom you pray, and of the matter for which you pray. And use this as an ordinary act, and at an ordinary hour; whereby the time itself shall put you in remembrance to do that you are accustomed to do in that time.

      Apply your study to such hours as your discreet master doth assign you earnestly…And mark the sense and the matter of that you do read as well as the words; so shall you both enrich your tongue with words and your wit with matter, and judgment will grow as years grow in you. Be humble and obedient to your masters, for, unless you frame yourself to obey others – yea, and feel in yourself what obedience is, you shall never be able to teach others to obey you. Be courteous of gesture and affable to all men, with diversity of reverence according to the dignity of the person; there is nothing that winneth so much with so little cost.

      Use moderate diet so as, after your meal, you may find your wit fresher, and not duller, and your body lively and not more heavy. Seldom drink wine, and yet sometimes do, lest, being enforced to drink upon the sudden you should not find yourself enflamed. Use exercise of body; yet such as is without peril to your bones or joints.

      Above all things tell no untruth; no, not in trifles. The custom of it is naughty…For there cannot be a greater reproach to a gentleman than to be accounted a liar. Study and endeavour yourself to be virtuously occupied. So shall you make such a habit of well-doing in you as you shall not know how to do evil, though you would.

      Your Loving father, so long as you fear God.

       Sir Henry Sidney (1529-86)