Him. Cecilia Scott
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2. I love it SO much.
HIM: I like to watch ur tits sway when I fuck u.
ME: My tits love it when u r fucking me.
HIM: I will be @ same hotel in downtown next Tues nite. Can you come?
ME: Abso-fucking-lutely.
HIM: Gotta run.
ME: K.
* * *
The next day I drove to a lingerie store on the Boulevard. The shop had a myriad sexy negligées and such. The woman behind the counter looked at me knowingly. She was an older woman with long, dark, curly hair, perhaps in her fifties, but she exuded sexuality. She wore a boho purple dress that managed to show off her curves despite its frilliness.
‘The man I am seeing likes it when I wear sexy outfits,’ I explained.
‘Of course he does,’ she replied. ‘I have just the right item for you. It will drive him wild. Follow me.’
I walked past racks of lingerie, all beautiful and delicate and sexy, but she took me to the back aisle of the store and handed me a package. Inside was a crotchless black lace body suit.
‘Your man will love this. I suspect you will love it too. You are having a good time with this man?’
‘Yes.’
‘Nothing has been like this before for you, has it?’
‘No,’ I said, barely in a whisper, my face reddening.
I believe she knew I was in the middle of a sexual relationship that was consuming me, body and soul. I was pretty sure she had travelled the same terrain: the darker, out-of-control side of sex. We both knew there was no going back.
‘You have to be careful though. All the sex can make you a little crazy,’ she said.
‘How?’ I asked nervously.
‘The sex takes you places you’ve never been before. But it can consume you.’
‘Yes. But that’s OK.’
‘Enjoy it, my dear. But be careful.’
‘OK.’
‘It’s just that men often have many secrets. You never know who he really is.’
‘He’s very open with me,’ I said defensively. ‘His ex-wife was horrible.’
‘They always are,’ she said with a smirk. ‘Enjoy the ride, but proceed with caution. Don’t always be so available.’
She might as well have told me to bicycle to Mars.
We walked back in silence to the store cash register. I wanted to ask her more about my situation but I really didn’t know her. I gave her my credit card. She ran it through the machine and handed me the package. We smiled at one another.
She put her hand on my shoulder. ‘Take care, honey. Come back to the store whenever you’d like. You can see we have many beautiful negligées, but I’m also here just if you want to talk. Your friends are probably too vanilla to understand what is going on with you.’
‘Thank you,’ I replied, almost in a whisper.
Once home I threw my clothes off and opened the package. It took a while to get the body suit on. I looked at myself in the mirror. My white skin against the black lace made my tits appear enormous. I was very turned on. I rushed to my phone and then back to the mirror. Aiming the phone at the mirror, I snapped the photo. I looked amazing. I sent it to HIM and waited, lying on my bed with the body suit on, expectantly.
He answered me about a half hour later.
HIM: OMG. I luv the photo. Totally hard 4 u. I have to fuck u now!
ME: Be my guest.
HIM: Damn, so busy @ work but can’t wait 2 c u on Tuesday.
ME: U r gonna luv the body suit.
HIM: U look gr8 in it. I want to do all sorts of things 2 u.
ME: U can do whatever u want 2 do 2 me. I want u so bad.
HIM: An offer I can’t refuse.
ME: K. Can’t wait 2 c u. Any chance sooner?
HIM: No. Busy w/kids this wkend. Gotta run. More mtgs.
* * *
And then the weekend was upon me. I had to get through more days before I would see HIM. I hated the weekends without HIM.
I wondered if he was really divorced. I had done for a while. I’d vacillate from wondering about whether he was lying to me to fantasising about the sex we were having. I knew he and I were lost in a world of secret desire.
* * *
I spent the weekend baking apple pies. I brought one over to Sam on Sunday night and then stayed for dinner. He didn’t ask me about HIM.
I kept my phone close by. I was hoping he’d text me but he didn’t.
Waiting for HIM to text me was hell. I could not imagine living like this for ever. My nerves were shot. I wanted to drink or smoke or use drugs and sleep all day or cry all day or injure myself in some way. This was hell.
Heaven was getting a text from HIM.
* * *
On Tuesday, he texted me during my class. The students heard it although I was supposed to have turned my phone off.
‘Excuse me,’ I said to my students. ‘I have a friend in the hospital. Her sister said she’d text me about the test results.’ I paused. ‘She’s OK.’
After the class THE BOY came to my desk. ‘Your friend is in the hospital?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’
‘Well, have a good time.’ I was too obsessed to really get crazy about THE BOY’s remarks. But I knew he was on to me.
I left the college early and went home to pick up my bag for the night. Esme followed me around the apartment. I felt guilty about leaving her alone. I scooped her up and held her in my arms. ‘You’re so beautiful,’ I told her. ‘I am so happy you’re in my life.’ She began purring softly and I held her for a long time.
I went into the kitchen, opened a can of catfood and put it into one of her bowls. I also took out the dry catfood and filled another bowl to the brim. I checked her water supply. She was going to be OK without me for the night, but I hurriedly left the duplex while she was still eating. Just as I was leaving I felt my phone vibrate. It was HIM.
HIM: Hey baby, can’t wait 2 c u @ downtown hotel 2nite.
ME: Me 2.
HIM: I have mtg til 8. If u want to come sooner I will leave ur name @ desk.
ME: K.
When I arrived at the hotel the clerk gave me the key to HIM’s room. I saw that he’d already settled in: his open suitcase was on top of the dresser. I looked at the contents. I supposed I was hoping to find clues to determine who he really was. But the items were generic: underwear, socks, several ties. There were several folders with electronic charts and diagrams. He’d put a suit in the closet. I smelled the jacket, taking in the delicious scent of HIM. HIM. He’d soon be inside me. I looked at the clock on the night table next to the bed. It would be several hours before he arrived.
* * *
I took a long bath, reapplied my make-up and put on the body suit. When I looked in the mirror I was once again shocked by how sexy I looked in it. I put one of my fingers in my already wet pussy. I went to the bed and lay down. I didn’t mean to fall asleep but I did.
* * *
I awoke to HIM opening the door. He came and lay down next to me.
He kissed me on the forehead, then took a strand of my hair and brushed it behind my ear. ‘Ah,