House Of Shadows: Discover the thrilling untold story of the Winter Queen. Nicola Cornick
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‘You don’t mind a fire, do you, darling?’ Hester asked. ‘I know it’s been a hot day but I always feel the chill when night falls.’
‘As long as you don’t mind me falling asleep,’ Holly said, stifling a yawn.
‘Of course not,’ Hester said. ‘You must be exhausted. I don’t suppose any of us have slept since …’ Her voice trailed away. ‘We wondered if you wanted to stay for a few days?’ she added. ‘Guy as well, if he’s coming down …’ There was an unspoken question in the words. ‘Or do you have to get back to London?’
‘I’m not going back to London,’ Holly said. ‘Or rather I will, but only to arrange to have everything sent down to Ashdown. I’m going to live at the mill for a while.’
Hester dropped her fork with a clatter. ‘Darling!’ She looked appalled. ‘Is it really a good idea to uproot yourself from home like this? It could all be for nothing.’
‘I realise that,’ Holly said, ‘but I feel I need to be there.’
‘But …’ It was unusual for Holly to see her grandmother lost for words. Before her retirement Hester had been a professor of mathematics; incisive, objective and able to pinpoint an issue and dissect it with forensic skill. ‘Please don’t misunderstand me,’ Hester said now, very carefully. ‘I realise that you may want to be at Ashdown in order to try to find Ben. You want to be on the spot; perhaps it will help you to feel closer to him. But is this really wise?’
Holly sighed. She had been expecting a reaction like this but it was difficult to explain, especially when she didn’t really understand the impulse herself. All she knew was that she had to be there. It felt right. It felt like the only place to be.
‘I only know that I want to be at Ashdown at the moment,’ Holly said. ‘Guy and I are over.’ She met her grandmother’s eyes. ‘We were over long before this, if I’m honest. I just needed a jolt to make me see the truth.’
‘Again,’ Hester said, ‘not the best time to be making life-changing decisions.’
Holly sighed. ‘Trust me. Please. Sometimes it’s exactly the right time to see what is important and what isn’t.’
Now it was her grandmother’s turn to sigh. ‘Oh Holly.’
‘Don’t tell me that you never thought I’d made a mistake,’ Holly said.
Hester looked reproachful. ‘Now you’re putting me on the spot. But yes …’ She shook her head, somewhere between exasperation and indulgence. ‘I did wonder. You’re so self-contained I never thought you would marry anyone. I was very surprised when you got engaged. And I was even more surprised you chose Guy.’
Holly demolished the last of the hotpot. She was astonished to find she had such an appetite. She hadn’t eaten at all, hadn’t felt like eating, for several days
‘I’ve wondered about that myself more than once since we split,’ she admitted. ‘Guy was nice.’ She winced. ‘Okay, that’s not a good reason. He was funny, and charming, and we had a good time together. And that was all I wanted.’
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