The Fall and Rise of the Amir Sisters. Nadiya Hussain
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‘Just Mae being Mae,’ said Bubblee.
‘How is she going to get through uni?’ added Farah.
Fatti put her phone away – she looked pale and sickly. Nothing like the way she had appeared a week ago. ‘She’s going to be just fine. I know it.’
‘Fats is right,’ said Bubblee. ‘She’s going to outshine us all.’
Mae’s gaping absence rendered everyone silent for a moment.
‘So, tell me, how does this what’s-happening work?’ asked their mum.
Sometimes Bubblee forgot how little her mum knew of the world and how little she tried to rectify it. How could her mum (just about) use an iPad but think an android phone was too complicated? It would be Bubblee’s worst nightmare for her life to become her home, and for that home to become an impassable bubble. And even worse would be their mum, carrying on, trying to encroach on their private group.
‘WhatsApp, Amma,’ corrected Fatti again, getting paler by the minute.
‘Do you want to go home?’ asked Ash.
‘I’m so sorry,’ replied Fatti, looking at everyone. ‘The nausea just won’t…’
She wasn’t able to make the end of the sentence before leaping up to run to the bathroom, Ash following her.
‘My poor daughter,’ said her mum. ‘But she has a good husband.’
Bubblee thought she saw Farah bristle. Perhaps she was imagining things?
‘You girls never answer me,’ said their mum. ‘I will learn to use this WhatsUp myself.’
‘Firstly, you’d need a phone that was made this century,’ replied Bubblee.
‘Hmm?’ Her mum looked confused. ‘Can I use my iPad?’
‘Well, yes, but…’ Bubblee couldn’t be bothered to finish explaining. ‘Don’t worry, Farah will get you a new phone when I leave.’
Her mouth went dry as she said this; her stomach twisted in an all-too-familiar knot of anxiety. It felt like an overreaction but she’d begun to have a physical reaction to going back to London.
‘Or maybe I will just stay.’
Farah frowned. ‘What about work?’
Bubblee moved uneasily on the sofa. There was nothing for it. She had to tell her family the truth.
‘Actually… well, in all honesty I resigned.’
‘What?’ said Farah.
Fatti and Ash walked into the room, Ash supporting Fatti as he said they were going to go home so she could rest.
‘Sorry,’ said Fatti.
‘Stop apologizing, honey,’ said Ash. ‘They understand.’
They both left.
Farah had hardly taken her eyes off Bubblee. ‘But your work is your life.’
This didn’t make Bubblee’s stomach settle very well.
‘Bubblee,’ said their dad, leaning forward. ‘You don’t have your job?’
‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ asked their mum with a look that was far too much like satisfaction.
‘Because of that look,’ Bubblee mumbled.
‘What?’ said her mum.
‘Because there was already enough going on here, wasn’t there?’
‘What about your flat where you were living?’ asked Farah.
Bubblee paused. ‘I’ve given it up. Couldn’t afford to stay without the job.’
‘Oh,’ replied Farah.
‘So then you must stay,’ said her dad, hardly watering down his smile or his pleasure.
Her mum cleared her throat. ‘Yes,’ she said, apparently unsure. ‘Maybe one week? Two?’
This was different. Normally her mum would’ve been ecstatic at the idea of Bubblee staying home for as long as possible – moving back home, in fact.
‘You don’t sound that pleased, Amma?’ said Bubblee, a smile on her lips.
Wasn’t that just the way? There was a time her mum would’ve begged her to stay home and now it was Bubblee who was the beggar. How could she afford to live in London without a job? What was she meant to do with her life?
‘Of course she is pleased,’ said her dad, rubbing his hands together. ‘We both are.’
Their mum played with the edge of her paisley-patterned sari. ‘Your abba likes to answer for me.’
Farah and Bubblee looked at their dad. He shifted his gaze to the carpet before looking up and smiling at Bubblee.
‘One daughter gone and another is back.’
‘Not permanently,’ said Bubblee, leaning forward. ‘It’s just until I sort out what I want to do. I won’t be here for ever. Anyway, I can stay with Sasha in London as long as I need when I decide to get back.’
He just met this with another smile. There were parents in the world who’d have been steeped in disappointment at their child leaving a job; asking why they left, pushing for future plans and giving lectures on responsibility and motivation. But no, Bubblee’s mum felt the only important thing to say was: ‘Maybe now you will have time to find a husband and settle down at last.’
Bubblee gave an exasperated sigh. ‘No, Mum. I have not given up one dream just to follow yours.’
She felt her face flush, her heart beat faster. Why couldn’t her mum be a friend to her the way she seemed to be to Fatti? Why did she never understand things? It shouldn’t matter how different a bunch of sisters were, their mum should be able to have a relationship with each of them, irrespective of differences of opinion or beliefs.
‘So what are you going to do?’ said their mum.
‘Jay’s amma,’ her dad interrupted, putting out his hand as if to tell her to wait a moment.
‘You ask her then,’ she replied.
He cleared his throat, his voice much softer. ‘Bubblee – what are you going to do?’
There was a pause as Bubblee looked at her parents in pure hopelessness. What was she going to do?
‘Why don’t we have some dinner?’ said Farah. ‘Abba, Amma, let’s talk about this later, okay?’
In that moment Bubblee’s heart swelled with a gratitude for Farah that she couldn’t remember having felt for a while.
As Farah and her mum went into the kitchen she heard their muffled conversation, while her dad just kept giving her encouraging smiles.
‘I’m okay, Abba,’ said Bubblee.
‘Don’t worry, don’t worry.’
Her dad was very good at vague affirmations, at least.
Dinner was a quiet affair. Her mum made some allusions to weddings and decided to cite as many women as possible from their community who’d got married recently to ‘very good men’.
‘Jay’s abba, shall we go to bed?’ asked their mum after they’d cleaned up, had tea and settled in the living room again.
Their dad was watching the news, eyes glued to the television.
‘Hmm? Yes, I’m coming.’
‘Fancy watching a film, or are you going home?’ Bubblee asked Farah.
Farah hesitated. ‘Actually, I’ve just messaged Mus to say I might stay over here tonight.’