Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 3. Derek Landy
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broke the surface with a gasp and turned her head, saw the man struggling, flailing his arms in terror. For a moment she thought he couldn’t swim, but it was more than that. The water was hurting him, working through him like acid, stripping pieces of him away. His cries became mere guttural sounds and Stephanie watched as he came apart and was silent and most dead.
She turned from the bits of him that floated to her and ploughed through the water. Her hands and feet were already numb with the cold, but she kept going until the bridge was far behind.
Shivering, Stephanie reached the edge of the canal and managed to haul herself out. Arms crossed over her chest, trainers squelching with every step and her hair plastered to her scalp, she hurried back to the Bentley.
When she got there, the Bentley was empty. Stephanie hung back, out of the light. A truck passed, slowing when it approached the crash. When the driver didn’t see anyone, he drove on. Stephanie didn’t move from her spot.
A few minutes later, Skulduggery emerged from the narrow lane she’d been chased down. He was walking quickly, looking up and down the street as he returned to his car. Stephanie stepped out of the shadows.
“Hey,” she said.
“Stephanie!” Skulduggery exclaimed, rushing over to her. “You’re all right!”
“I went for a swim,” she said, trying to stop her teeth from chattering.
“What happened?” he asked. “Where is he?”
“Here and there.” The light breeze was passing through her soaking garments. “The water kind of… took him apart.”
Skulduggery nodded. “It happens.”
He held out his hand and she felt herself drying and saw the water drifting off her, collecting as mist in the air over her head. “You’re not surprised?” she asked.
He moved the cloud away and released it. A faint shower fell to the street. “Certain types of Adept magic don’t come cheap. As we saw at Gordon’s house, your attacker had made himself impervious to fire, and was probably very proud of himself for doing so. Unfortunately for him, the cost of that little spell was that a large amount of water would be lethal. Every big spell has a hidden snag.”
He clicked his fingers and conjured fire, and Stephanie started to feel warm again.
“Neat trick,” she said. “You’ll have to teach me it some time.”
With quite a bit of effort, Stephanie pulled open the car door. She wiped the broken glass from the seat and got in, buckling the seatbelt. Skulduggery went around the other side to his own broken window and climbed in behind the wheel. He twisted the key and the engine turned, complained and then came to life.
Her body was tired. Her mind was tired. Her limbs felt heavy and her eyes wanted to close. She dug her mobile phone out of her pocket – miraculously, the canal water hadn’t ruined it. She pressed a button and the time flashed up and she groaned then looked outside as the first light of the morning started to seep into the sky.
“What’s wrong?” Skulduggery asked. “Are you hurt?”
“No,” she said, “but I will be if I don’t get back to Gordon’s house. Mum will be picking me up soon.”
“You don’t look too happy.”
“Well, I don’t want to go back to that world – a boring old town with nosy neighbours and nasty aunts.”
“You’d rather stay in a world where you get attacked twice in one night?”
“I know it sounds crazy, but yes. Things happen here.”
“I’m going to see a friend later today, someone who might be able to help us out. You can come along if you want.”
“Really?”
“I think you might have a real feel for this line of work.”
Stephanie nodded and gave a little shrug, and when she spoke she fought hard to keep the sheer joy out of her voice. “And what about magic?”
“What about it?”
“Will you teach me?”
“You don’t even know if you’re capable of doing magic.”
“How do I find out? Is there a test or something?”
“Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.”
“You’re being funny again, aren’t you?”
“So glad you noticed.”
“So will you teach me?”
“I’m not a teacher. I’m a detective. I already have a career.”
“Oh, right. It’s just, I’d really like to learn, and you know it all.”
“Your flattery is subtle.”
“But it’s OK, if you don’t want to teach me, that’s OK. I suppose I could always ask China.”
Skulduggery looked at her. “China won’t teach you. She won’t teach you because there is nothing that she does that is not for her own gain. You mightn’t see it at first, you might think she’s actually being nice to you, but you can never trust her.”
“OK then.”
“OK. So we’re agreed?”
“We’re agreed. No trusting China.”
“Good. Glad we’ve got that sorted.”
“So will you teach me magic?”
He sighed. “Dealing with you is going to be a trial, isn’t it?”
“That’s what my teachers at school say.”
“This is going to be fun,” Skulduggery said dryly. “I just know it.”
Skulduggery dropped Stephanie off at Gordon’s house, and half an hour later her mother’s car splashed through huge puddles and Stephanie went outside to meet her. She managed to keep her mother’s attention off the house, lest she notice that the front door was merely leaning against the doorframe.
“Good morning,” her mother said as Stephanie got in the car. “Everything OK?”
Stephanie nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”
“You’re looking a little bedraggled.”
“Oh, thanks Mum.”
Her mother laughed as they drove back towards the gate. “Sorry. So tell me, how was your night?”
Stephanie hesitated, then shrugged. “Uneventful.”
SERPINE
The Hollow Men bowed deeply as he strode through the corridors of his castle. They looked real from a distance, but up close they were nothing more than cheap imitations of life. Their papery skin was a mere expressionless shell, inflated from within by the foulest of gases. It was only their hands and feet that were solid and heavy – their feet clumped when they walked and their hands weighed down their arms, so they stood with a perpetual stoop.
Their number increased the closer he got to the main hall. They were simple creatures, but they did what they were told, and they hadn’t known what to make of the visitor. Serpine entered