The Modern Kama Sutra: An Intimate Guide to the Secrets of Erotic Pleasure. Kirk Thomas
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‘The woman of Tirotpatna has eyes blooming like the flowers of the lake; she loves her husband fondly and her passion is enflamed by a single look; she is especially skilful in congress; she enjoys various ways and postures; and, by reason of her delicacy, she cannot endure rough or protracted embraces.’
Ananga Ranga
‘The woman who before congress will touch with her left foot the lingam of her husband, and will make a practice of this, undoubtedly subdues him, and makes him her slave for life.’
Ananga Ranga
Bathing
‘He should bathe daily, anoint his body with oil every other day, apply a lathering substance to his body every three days, get his head shaved every four days and the other parts of his body every five or ten days. All these things should be done without fail.’
Kama Sutra
Taking a bath together is a wonderfully sensuous and intimate way to begin lovemaking. It gives you time to wind down and relax after a busy day and to explore each other’s naked bodies slowly and with affection.
The bathroom can be transformed into a sensual sanctuary, where everyday distractions are washed away. Fill the bathroom with soft candlelight, add aromatherapy oils or scented bath salts to the water, and make sure the room is warm. Pour yourselves a glass of wine and luxuriate in the hot, steamy tub together.
Enjoy pampering your lover: ladle warm water all over their body, or drip cold water onto their hot skin. Focus on the moment and feel the intimacy growing between you. Talk to each other about how you feel or things you would like to do to each other.
The secret to the art of lovemaking is about taking your time. Tantalize and tease each other in the bath to build up sexual excitement. Whilst washing your lover, let your hands roam and explore, moving up towards their inner thighs and letting your fingers brush only lightly over their genitals. Try experimenting with different positions in the bath, feeling your hot wet bodies rubbing against each other. If you are so excited that you can’t bear to delay the pleasure, you could masturbate each other in the bath, using the soapy water as a lubricant and letting your fingers slide back and forth.
You may prefer to take a quick shower together, which still provides an opportunity to touch and arouse each other in a warm, steamy environment. The advantage of a shower is that it is easier for bodies to be entwined and close in a standing position. The man can fondle her breasts or rub her genitals, or the woman can kneel and take his penis in her mouth.
The relaxation and gentle build-up of arousal that you have experienced in the bath or shower should be prolonged as much as possible. So, instead of hastily drying yourself off, part of your intimate ritual can include your lover enveloping you in a clean, warm towel then gently rubbing you all over. Having your most intimate parts touched with care and tenderness, without necessarily having sex, is an important part of developing a deep bond with your lover. Added to this, the rough texture of the towel against your skin can be toning, invigorating and arousing.
Massage
Massage has been practised for centuries in many different traditions, from Ancient Greece and Rome to Egypt and the Far East as a means of promoting healing and relaxation. Massage between partners can be a way of relaying your feelings for one another through your fingertips and of arousing each other slowly and sensually.
Massage can be applied in many different situations, whether it is a foot massage in the bath or a shoulder rub while talking. If you are planning to give your lover a full-body massage, choose somewhere comfortable like the bedroom. Lay a towel over the sheets and make sure that the room is warm.
‘Sitting in their own places they should eat some betel leaves and the citizen should apply with his own hand to the body of the woman some pure sandalwood ointment, or ointment of some other kind…’
Kama Sutra
Light a few candles and put on some calming music. A few drops of aromatherapy oils can be added to your base massage oil to help create the mood you want: juniper, patchouli, sandalwood, and ylang ylang are all powerful aphrodisiacs while jasmine, lavender and rose help to promote relaxation and feelings of well-being.
First, get into a mutually comfortable position. A good place to start is at the base of the spine, which is one of the main chakras (or energy points) of the body. From here, with your palms placed flat, glide your hands up the back on either side of the spine, towards the neck then across the shoulders and lightly back down along their sides. This motion can be repeated rhythmically to build up friction and heat along the spine. Keep contact with your lover at all times and avoid any sudden or jerky movements. Ask your lover where they would like you to massage them and what kinds of stroke and pressure they prefer. If you locate a particularly knotted or tight area, use your thumbs to knead it gently to help disperse the tension.
From the back, you can work your way down the body, first kneading the muscles of the buttocks with circular motions then massaging the upper thighs, the calves, ankles and feet. Pressing on various parts of the soles of the feet can be extremely stimulating and energizing. Turn your lover over and start by gently massaging their belly, then slide your hands upwards. The man can glide his hands around the outside of the breasts, circling them and lightly brushing the nipples with his palm as he does so.
Once your lover is fully relaxed, you can start to arouse them by using strokes that deliberately brush past their genitals. Each time you do this, linger a little longer, and when you sense that they are really turned on, you can slowly begin to masturbate them. Depending on your mood, you could bring your lover to orgasm and then lie next to them, letting them enjoy the sensation of being completely pampered, or you could continue with a warm and oily sex session.
‘And here may be learned the marks whereby beauty and good shape of body are distinguished. The maiden whose face is soft and pleasing as the moon; whose eyes are bright and liquid as the fawn’s; whose teeth are clean as diamonds and clear as pearls; whose neck is like a sea-shell; whose lower lip is red as the ripe fruit of the bryony; whose hair is black as the bee’s wing; whose skin is brilliant as the flower of the dark-blue lotus, or light as the surface of polished gold; whose feet and hands are red, being marked with a circle; whose voice is sweet