Muse. Sommer Marsden
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for the door in case the receptionist called her out for a patient.
‘A guy in the Tuesday/Thursday class. The silver fox,’ she said, feeling stupid.
‘The what?’ Cheryl was trying not to laugh.
Dani shook her head. ‘I don’t know his name. He’s older. Probably mid-forties. Silver in his hair and his beard. Bright blue eyes. Just …’ She shrugged.
‘Ah, just a hot-ass silver fox. I get it. And was he good? In the dream?’
Dani chewed her lip. ‘Jesus Christ … he was the best one.’
‘Oh, my God,’ Cheryl said. Then Rebecca called her name from the front and she sighed. ‘Lunch. Eleven-thirty. I want all the details.’
‘They’re too dirty.’
‘Those are the best kind!’ Cheryl cried, throwing up her hands. Then she hurried out to the front of the office. The day had started and the patients didn’t want to wait because Dani was suddenly having X-rated dreams.
She made it through her morning and almost cried with relief when lunch came. She needed a break from trying so damn hard to focus. Her mind was a collage of men and paint and brushes and orgasms. She needed to let her mind be pudding for the next hour.
She’d just taken a seat next to Cheryl, ready to tuck into her Greek salad and bottle of water, when the other chair slid backwards so fast she jumped. Her mother – her mother! – flopped down in the seat, clutching her giant purse in her lap, and stared at Dani. ‘What is this I hear about you doing pornography?’
‘Jesus …’ Dani muttered.
‘Language!’ her mother scolded and then sat there waiting for an explanation.
‘I’m just going to take this …’ Cheryl gathered her meal container and her soda. She slid out of her seat and Dani found herself clamping a hand on her friend’s arm.
‘Don’t go,’ she managed.
‘Oh, no. I have to,’ Cheryl said. She looked like she’d either laugh or cry. Maybe both. ‘This is a family thing. I’ll just let you have your privacy.’ She shook Dani’s hand off gently and went.
‘Traitor,’ Dani sighed.
‘I’m waiting, Danielle.’ Her mother’s mouth was a tight seam, her eyes loaded with disapproval.
‘I’m not doing pornography, mother,’ she said, keeping her voice low. ‘I took the position of model in Chris’s classes. It just happens to be nude.’
Helen Young shut her eyes as if she’d just received a death sentence. ‘Nude,’ she said, drawing the word out.
Dani straightened up, pushed her shoulders back. She was getting pissed now. ‘Yes. Nude. I’m not a child, Mom. I can make my own decisions, you know.’
‘But why on earth would this be your big decision? I’ve seen you have trouble deciding between beef or seafood for dinner since you and Bob … broke up.’
Her mother rarely said the word ‘divorce’.
‘So?’
‘So, now you’ve made this grand adult decision to parade around naked.’ Her mother leaned in, practically groaning the last word of her sentence.
‘Yes, I have. It’s fine. I stand there in a single pose. The class sketches me and—’
‘So an entire classroom of strangers – no, two classrooms full of strangers, according to Clara – have naked pictures of you.’
Dani couldn’t help it. She snorted with laughter. ‘Pictures? You mean sketches. That they did themselves. Some probably very badly. They draw me, Mother, I’m not doing a live feed online for the viewing pleasure of strange men out in the ether.’
‘But you might as well be! You need to stop.’
‘Firstly,’ Dani said, her anger growing, ‘I do not need to stop. And I won’t stop. It’s really not as big a deal as you’re making it. Secondly, what was it Daddy told me that one time, the year I turned twenty-one and we all went out drinking as a family, about you dancing when you were in college?’
Her mother’s mouth went from a tight seam to invisible. Her jaw and mouth so tight her lips virtually disappeared. ‘Dani—’ Her voice held warning.
‘Not just dancing,’ Dani said, tapping her temple and pretending to think. But she didn’t have to think. She’d never forget her father dropping that particular bomb on her. Or how she’d sat there, clutching a mug of tap beer, mouth hanging open in surprise. And a little horror, she’d admit. No one thinks of their mother that way. ‘It wasn’t just dancing, was it? It was exotic dancing.’
Her mother looked at the table, the ceiling, the door of the cafeteria as it swung open admitting other lunch patrons. ‘That is beside the point.’
‘And we all know,’ Dani went on, pushing the envelope, ‘that exotic dancing is code for—’
‘Danielle!’
‘Stripping!’ Dani said, leaning in and whispering the word.
Her mother had gone pale. ‘I do not regret that experience.’
Dani sat back, a bit smug. ‘And I don’t expect you to. But I do not and will not regret this one. Even if you want me to.’
Helen Young sat back, put her hands palms down on the table and regarded Dani. ‘We all want better for our children than what we had, what we did.’
‘I appreciate that. But this is something I want to do. I am doing. You have two choices, you can support me or you can not support me. If you choose the second option, I’ll thank you to do it silently.’
Her mother said nothing for a long time. Finally, she simply nodded. ‘I’ll get going, then. Looks like your lunch break is almost up. Call me and let me know if you’re going to Mary Catherine’s baby shower. If you are you can pick me up. We can ride together.’ She laid a cool kiss on Dani’s forehead and hustled out, walking with a tight gait in her mauve wool suit.
Dani sighed and pushed away the remainder of her lunch. She wasn’t very hungry any more. She hadn’t expected that, just when she’d got used to the idea of her new part-time job, she’d have to battle her mother over it. Sometimes life – adult life – was just too damned exhausting.
* * *
Nipples, nipples, nipples …
It was all she could think of. She’d arrived on time and Chris had gotten her the robe. The whole routine had become normal. Which was both invigorating and terrifying. Arrive, disrobe and be posed like a giant Barbie doll.
He’d tugged the end of her hair just as she was about to go change. ‘Hey, you OK?’
‘Fine. Dust-up with Helen the Great. No biggie.’
‘Yeah, I heard my mom let the cat out of the bag.’
‘No worries,’ Dani said. ‘I had ammunition.’
He raised an eyebrow and the thought that he’d just had a date the night before pounded her already tired brain. What, was she jealous? That was insane.
‘Do tell.’
‘Later. I’ll tell you over drinks one day. Then we can sit back quietly and listen to the sound of my mother’s soul screaming.’
Chris laughed. ‘Off you go. I’ll go back in and prompt them. Sadly, you’ll be in the same pose as the first class. A lot of them didn’t quite