The Secret Sex Lives of Wanda Mitty. Felix Baron
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from her mom, though, once she and Henry were married, it’d only be his approval she’d have to worry about. Wanda treated Kitty to a couple of things, mainly because the girl didn’t so much as hint that she expected it.
She found that she warmed to Kitty, even though …
She blurted, ‘My mom seems to think that Henry is very conservative in his ways. Is that true?’
Kitty pondered. ‘In some ways. You don’t know him that well, do you?’
‘No. It’s been kind of a whirlwind courtship. We haven’t had a lot of time alone together yet.’
‘All the more fun exploring each other’s little ways once you’re married, then.’
‘I hope so. I really hope so.’
‘Cheer up. Time for a cocktail before you have to go home?’
‘As I’m out without my mom for a change, I’ve time for two!’
Wanda felt sure that the slightest hint from her would have had them in bed together that very afternoon, but that, no matter how tempting, would make her life far too complicated. Still, if her worst fears about Henry proved correct, Kitty would make a lovely consolation prize. Henry had proved his masculinity but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t the stuffed shirt that her mom seemed convinced he was.
When she got back to the apartment she shared with her mother, her mom’d had at least a couple of cocktails herself, so Wanda was able to smuggle her secret purchases up to her bedroom. Let sleeping moms lie. There was a huge carton sitting on her bed. Wanda loved presents. She tore the box apart like a lion tears at an antelope, or, it occurred to her, like a very horny woman tears the pants off her lover.
She uncovered a giant teddy bear. It stood tall enough to come up to her nipples when its hind paws were on the floor. There was no doubt that it was a female bear. Its silky plush fur was pink. It had upswept eyelashes that were a good two inches long, a pink bow on top of its head and a tiny pink tongue that poked out between its ursine lips.
It couldn’t have a male name, so it wasn’t ‘Teddy’. Wanda decided that she’d call it ‘Edwina’, which she’d then abbreviate to ‘Teddy’. Obviously, it was not only female, it was also a lesbian bear. That’d be much more fun.
Wanda went downstairs to check on her mom. She was still asleep on the couch with a silly grin on her face. Wanda covered her with a throw, had a quick goodnight gin and tonic, and went back up to shower.
With her mom fast asleep downstairs, it was OK for Wanda to leave the bathroom naked, still towelling herself dry. One day, she hoped, she’d do the same in front of Henry. And he’d approve heartily. Of course he would. For him, she’d dance with her towel serving as a fan-dancer’s fan, or she’d even prance like a pony, like this … She high-stepped, pointing her toes, twirling and skipping to amuse her husband, her lover, her friend.
Oops! She was fantasising again, but this time about Henry. That was new. Did it mean that she was making progress? She’d have to ask Dr Sullivan when she saw him.
Edwina, ‘Teddy’, was waiting in Wanda’s bedroom, sitting up in the old rocking chair. Wanda bowed with a flourish, flinging her towel aside.
‘Lovely body!’ the bear told her in a deep but certainly feminine contralto.
‘Thank you, Teddy. I only have one bed, I’m afraid. Do you mind if we share? No? Come on, then. Oh – and I don’t have any nightclothes that would fit you, Teddy, my dear. Still, it’s just us girls, so that’s all right.
Wanda’s was a double bed but Teddy was quite bulky so they had to snuggle close, face-to-face. Wanda said, ‘Goodnight, Teddy,’ and pecked her bear on the lips. That, of course, poked the animal’s tiny pink tongue between Wanda’s lips. She’d assumed it was made of some sort of fabric but it didn’t feel at all like cloth. It felt like some sort of rubbery material, complete with a texture that mimicked taste buds.
Hm.
Wanda kissed again, a little sucking kiss. Teddy groaned appreciatively. Unfortunately, the way her toy had been made, really deep kisses weren’t possible, but tongue-tip to tongue-tip was nice, in a teasing sort of way. Wanda snuggled in closer. Teddy’s left leg flopped up over Wanda’s right leg. A furry right leg insinuated itself between Wanda’s smooth thighs. Plush tickled Wanda’s tummy. She wriggled, drawing her bear in even closer. Furry pubes pressed against peach-fuzz ones. Wanda gave a little bump. Teddy, perhaps helped by Wanda’s hand on her rump, pushed back.
This wasn’t a fantasy, Wanda reminded herself, apart from the way she interpreted the bear’s growls. This was, however, being honest, masturbation, using an inanimate object. Women used vibrators. That wasn’t considered aberrant anymore. Even so, Wanda suspected that fucking teddy bears was still considered a bit kinky, at the least. Never mind. Dr Sullivan would sort the pros and cons out for her.
Teddy growled.
‘Sorry, I was distracted.’ Wanda sucked Teddy’s little tongue and ground her hips hard against her new lover.
Tongue? Wanda experimented by pulling Teddy’s head down to her breast and rubbing that rubbery nub on her nipple. It felt nice, and when Wanda pushed Teddy’s head back, her legs slid further between Wanda’s. Wanda pressed the bear’s shoulders away and wriggled down even harder. The animal’s right leg came right up to divide Wanda’s breasts. Her left leg stuck up along Wanda’s back. Wanda reached behind herself to grab a hind paw. Her other hand took hold of the other furry ankle. When Wanda pulled up on the front leg, then tugged the back one, bear-pubes sawed on Wanda’s pussy, squishing its lips and grinding on her clit. See-saw. See-saw. There was no penetration but the friction was certainly … interesting. Very interesting. Very, very interesting.
Climactically interesting.
OK, so it wasn’t spectacular, but it was a different way to get off. That had to count for something. Perhaps that nice little orgasm would protect her from her fantasies for a while? Whatever, her sleep that night was dreamless.
Chapter Six
Wanda woke to find Teddy with her head on the floor and her hind legs up on the bed. She pulled her new friend up. ‘Teddy, how do you feel about anal sex?’ It was a reasonable question to ask a bear who might well be sharing her marriage bed one day. ‘Do you like to take big bare cocks up your tight bear bum?’
Teddy didn’t answer, of course. Wanda giggled. It had to be a healthy sign that she could joke to herself about her problem with fantasising.
It was a busy day. First, Dr Sullivan, who accepted her twenty-two-page single-spaced printout of a week’s worth of erotic fantasies without comment. He was hard to read. Wanda thought he approved of her fantasising about Henry, now, and he seemed to agree that her bear episode didn’t belong on her list of imagined perversions, as it wasn’t imagined. He didn’t say that it was a kinky thing to do but neither did he say that it wasn’t. His face was stone when she admitted to being attracted to Henry’s cousin Kitty. Perhaps that was the sign of a good therapist, that the patient had no idea what was right or wrong.
Finally, Wanda bitched about it having been so long since she’d had her hands on a nice erection – so Dr Sullivan let her spend the rest of her appointment playing with his.
After lunch, Wanda headed for her sartorial appointment.
Mr Pink, Bespoke Habits, had a tiny body and a big head. If his ears had been a bit larger and pointed, he’d have been a perfect elf. He pranced around his premises so lightly that his black patent shoes barely whispered against the thick carpet. His being such a flaming queen, Wanda had no qualms about him measuring her inside leg. She had to wonder, though, how Henry felt about having the same measurement taken.
Maybe one day she’d measure Henry’s inside leg. Both legs, to be sure. He ‘dressed left’ she thought. So when she measured his right leg, several