The Stress Protection Plan. Leon Chaitow
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of Psychosomatic Research (1989), Vol. 33, No. 4, pages 449–56.)
Interestingly, this research also showed that such people who are prone to self-criticism if they fail to reach the high standards they set themselves, who score high in assessment of their own self-worth in social comparisons as well as displaying cynical mistrust of others, also scored high in assessment of their degree of dependency on others for validation that they were deserving of being loved.
Self-esteem can therefore be seen to be a two-edged sword, especially where these other elements are found (cynical mistrust and strongly self-critical tendencies). I will return to cynicism in later chapters, and will also examine a splendid psychotherapeutic tool (Voice Dialogue) which allows the therapist to help you become aware of the ‘sub-personalities’ which make up all of us, and which can be involved in these excesses of critical and self-critical behaviour.
In summary: self-esteem, in its healthiest expressions, is a major stress-proofing factor, and conversely excessive self-esteem, especially when linked with cynicism, is a stress factor in its own right, as is low self-esteem.
Basic Emotions
The range of possible stress factors is almost endless, and the possible permutations of reaction to them equally so. It has been said that there are only two basic emotions: ‘like’ and ‘dislike’. All other emotions stem from variations and degrees of these prime feelings. The amazing differences in people, tastes, likes, dislikes and so on, makes it obvious that there is seldom any intrinsic quality in an event, object or situation, which guarantees it being universally liked or disliked (one man’s meat is patently another man’s poison). It is also worth noting that at different stages in life and under different conditions, the same person’s ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ will vary.
The conclusion may be drawn that a person can possibly be taught to like what was previously disliked, and vice versa. Thus, if, because of degrees of ‘liking’ or ‘disliking’, a person’s behaviour gives rise to a more stressful existence and more problematic relationships than are desirable, reduction of stress is possible only through a basic change in attitudes.
Just as type A must change from a fast-moving, fast-talking, fast-acting, fast-eating individual to one with more deliberate habits, so must the individual who says ‘that’s how I am, I can’t change!’ be made to understand that change is not only possible but desirable, and that self-interest dictates that it should be so. Changing habits and attitudes is merely a matter of understanding and recognizing them for what they are, followed by modifications in behaviour. This is easily said and, obviously, not as easily achieved. However, as will become clear, the alternatives to such behavioural modification may often be serious illness.
The Importance of Changing Your Automatic Response
In setting about behavioural modification – the changing of habitual attitudes and ways of responding – it is important to be aware that whenever you behave in a particular manner, you reinforce the belief that lies behind that form of behaviour. If there is always an angry tantrum in response to real or imagined criticism, then your belief that this is the appropriate response will be reinforced with each outburst.
To alter the underlying belief calls for an altered response. By substituting a less stressful, less provocative reaction, the belief will develop, and be reinforced, that the new reaction is correct and appropriate. Obviously, in interpersonal relationships, two such modified responses may be needed, and this is not easy to arrange.
Once you realize the role that habit plays in reinforcing undesirable modes of behaviour, it is possible to begin to change. By acting in a manner in which the other person is dealt with as you would wish to be dealt with yourself, and by expressing whatever needs to be said honestly and calmly, the opportunity will grow for a less stressful relationship. Such behaviour changes often spark changes for the better in the other half of the relationship.
It is worth noting that no-one and nothing makes you angry. You do it all on your own. Such feelings are always self-generated, and this is true of most emotions. You choose to be angry, jealous, guilty or bitter and, equally, you choose to be happy, giving, loving etc. Your attitudes and behaviour can be self-modified, and most experiences present a choice of response – one negative and stressful, and the other positive and, potentially, offering the opportunity for growth and self-knowledge – that choice always being yours, and the extent of attention you pay to the stress-reducing measures presented later in this book will be an indication of the extent to which you are prepared to accept responsibility for your life and actions.
Stress is Cumulative
Whilst, in early life, most people can cope with a great deal of emotional and physical trauma, this ability tends to diminish as life progresses. There are, of course, inherited characteristics which have an influence on our capacity for coping. And, there are other factors which will also, to varying degrees, determine to what extent stress can influence our physical and mental health. Among these are nutritional considerations, structural factors, exercise patterns, general fatigue, and the sum total – long-term and in the recent past – of stress. The effects these influences have will become clearer in subsequent chapters. At this stage, it is worth noting that stress is the spur that moves us to action, and that, if responses are not appropriate, it can also become the boulder that crushes.
There is indeed a point at which our body’s capacity for adjustment and adaptation in the face of stress becomes inadequate. When this occurs, health begins to break down in obvious ways. I will cover this in greater detail in the next chapter, but it is important to note that this very noticeable deterioration in health is itself a potent stressor. Anxiety in the face of changes in function and the onset of pain quickens the downward spiral. If you wait for this stage before taking reforming action you may have waited too long. It is, though, possible to regain health from this point, but only with great effort.
There are extrinsic factors which are outside our control, but there are also many aspects of the picture that we can control. There are, of course, states of mind which generate stress, which are outside our conscious control. There are many deep-seated anxiety states and depressions, in which only skilled psychotherapy and counselling can enable us to achieve insights and understanding and, ultimately, a resolution of the problem. Such forms of treatment lie outside the scope of this book, but it is suggested that the general principles here outlined, and the techniques described, can only be of help, even in such cases. However, no-one who is receiving psychotherapy should attempt self-treatment without first consulting his or her practitioner.
The Physical Effects of Stress
Stress is an essential and constant part of life. It is the spur that drives humankind to all achievement, but, when excessive, it can destroy. All the ages and stages of life are transitional; from baby to toddler, from schoolchild to young adult, from active worker to retired pensioner, and so on. Each change has potential stress implications which, when overlayed upon the external and internal stresses of living, are constantly affecting our minds and bodies.
A definition of stress, coined by the great researcher into this ubiquitous phenomenon, Dr Hans Selye, is simply ‘the rate of wear and tear on the body’. All change calls for adaptation. If we go from a warm room into the freezing cold outdoors, adaptive mechanisms immediately become operative to help the body to maintain its equilibrium.
Adaptive processes take place in response to all changes and stressors, whether these are physical, such as heat and cold; chemical, such as polluted air and water, and drugs; or self-generated emotions, such as anger, grief or joy. Anything that is perceived as threatening the mind or body arouses a response of an adaptive or defensive nature instantly.
Homoeostasis
This ability to attempt to maintain the safe equilibrium of the body is known as homoeostasis. It is,