Trisha Ashley 3 Book Bundle. Trisha Ashley
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sometimes have resented Jake’s claims on me, but it didn’t mean I didn’t love him. I’d do it again if I had to.
Raffy sighed. ‘No, I suppose I was so mad I wasn’t thinking straight and anyway, I didn’t see why she would tell me lies.’
‘Because she always fancied you,’ I said. ‘She saw her chance and took it.’
‘But what about you?’ he asked, suddenly rallying. ‘Didn’t you wonder why I never wrote or turned up?’
‘Not after she told me she’d given you my letter and you hadn’t even bothered to read it. And by the way, she said you jumped straight into bed with her, and I don’t expect that bit was a lie?’
He looked shamefaced. ‘No, I got blind drunk in the students’ union bar and then she…consoled me. I regretted it next day. Never went back. Went to hell in a handbasket, in fact,’ he said soberly. ‘What a fool I was!’
‘I still can’t believe you thought I would ask another person to tell you something like that – you must have known I loved you! And for weeks I kept expecting you to turn up, until I got Rachel’s letter. And after that the papers were full of all the things you and the rest of Mortal Ruin were up to, so I knew you’d completely forgotten about me.’
‘But I hadn’t! Lord knows, I tried, but you were forever coming back to haunt me.’ He sat down again and, leaning forward, took my hands in a warm, firm grasp. ‘It took God to make me see just what effects my actions had on other people, and turn me outwards, instead of in. I found it a hard struggle to truly forgive you in my heart for what I thought you’d done to me, but I always hoped you were happy and it had turned out well for you.’
‘That’s more than I managed for you, because I never forgave you at all! Whenever one of your damned songs reminded me of you, my thoughts were about ninety per cent cocoa solids.’
‘I’m guessing they were pretty bitter, then?’
‘I think you could say that, with a dash of hot chilli on the side. My opinion of you was that you were a cheap forastero blend and I was probably right!’
‘Thanks,’ he said drily. ‘But I’m truly sorry if things haven’t worked out for you. I always pictured you married and with children when I thought of you and—’
He broke off: perhaps something in my expression warned him not to go there.
‘I nearly got married, but it didn’t work out, and then I had Jake to bring up. I feel I’ve done my bit in the motherhood and relationship stakes, so now I’m concentrating on my business.’
I suddenly realised that he was still holding my hands between his and it felt as if some powerful current was passing between us…until I snatched them away.
‘But Felix mentioned that your ex-fiancé has turned up again, so maybe you won’t always feel that way?’ he suggested.
‘David’s just a friend these days, that’s all,’ I said shortly. ‘Felix gets the daftest ideas.’
‘Right,’ Raffy said, and got up. ‘Look, Chloe, what’s happened, happened, and I can’t change that. But I’m so very sorry and I hope eventually that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me for unintentionally hurting you so much, just as I forgive you.’
‘You forgive me?’ I stared at him.
‘Yes – don’t we both share the blame for not trusting in each other’s love enough to question what Rachel told us?’
‘Some of us are guiltier than others, and I don’t forgive you, Raffy Sinclair!’
For a moment his eyes flashed and I thought he was about to lose his temper, just as the long-vanished Raffy that I once loved would have done. It might even have cleared the air a bit. But then he gave a long sigh. ‘I’m sorry you feel like that, but I’ll leave you in peace now and go to the church. I feel a need to pray for both of us – but even more for Rachel.’
I felt more inclined to damn Rachel to the fiery pits of hell for what she’d done to me – to us. But then, I wasn’t the one with a freshly minted conscience and a matching set of ethics.
‘I’d concentrate on praying for yourself after visiting my grandfather,’ I advised him. ‘You know what they say: if you sup with the devil, you need a long spoon.’
Outside, David tooted his car horn and I got to my feet, feeling about ninety years old. ‘I’ve got to go; I’m going house-hunting with a friend.’
‘Of course.’
I put a brass screen in front of the fire and unhooked my coat from behind the door, then he followed me out through the workshop and into the lane. There he paused, looking down sombrely at me, and I stared inimically right back up at him.
‘God bless you, Chloe!’ he said, then strode off towards the High Street, past David’s red sports car, without even seeming to notice, his dark head bent and his hands in his pockets.
I got into David’s car feeling as if I’d gone several rounds in the boxing ring, and his peppering me with questions didn’t help, either.
‘Wasn’t that Raffy Sinclair? Mel Christopher told me he was the new vicar and I thought she was joking! You wouldn’t think someone with that kind of lifestyle would suddenly get God, would you?’
‘I know, I was surprised too,’ I said, the understatement of the century. ‘Of course, the band split up years ago, so I expect they’ve all moved on and done something else. He’s been ordained for quite a long time, I think.’
‘But why was he visiting you? You don’t go to church now, do you?’
‘He came to see Grumps, really, and then I expect he thought he might as well call on me. He intends visiting every house in the parish eventually, so at least he can tick me off the list now.’
‘I suppose he’ll be a seven-day wonder and all the women will go gooey over him.’
‘Not me,’ I said flatly and he gave me a sideways smile as we drove out along the Neatslake road, passing the sign to Stirrups.
‘No, I’m sure he isn’t your type in the least.’
‘So, which house are we going to see first?’ I asked, firmly changing the subject. I longed to be on my own, to go over every single nuance of what Raffy had said to me, but until I was, I’d have to try to put a brave face on it.
I must have succeeded, even running on automatic response, because David didn’t notice anything wrong. In fact, he said the afternoon had been fun – which I expect it would have been, in other circumstances.
It was only later, while we were having tea at a canal marina café, and debating the merits of the two properties we’d seen that day, that it occurred to me that Grumps might have already ill-wished Raffy for a wrong that had turned out to be due to nothing more than credulity and stupidity. Perhaps, if it wasn’t too late, I should tell Grumps so? But then, he couldn’t really do Raffy any harm, could he…?
I returned to the present to find David holding forth on the subject of guest bedrooms and en-suites, neither of which seemed very important to me at the best of times, and not at all at that moment, so I said it was time I was getting back home.
He dropped me off at the door, but even then I hadn’t got a minute to myself, because of course Jake came back soon after I did. I’d promised to cook him his favourite dinner – sausage and mash with mustard sauce, followed by a fresh cream éclair I’d bought him from the Spar that morning, which seemed at least a century ago.
But this was probably a good thing, because