Christmas Cowboy: Will of Steel / Winter Roses. Diana Palmer
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dwelling on anticipation of the worst,” he said, glancing her way. “How in the world do you think people get by who have loved ones with chronic illness or life-threatening conditions?”
She looked at him in the darkness. “I’ve never thought about it.”
“My grandmother had cancer,” he reminded her. “Had it for years. If I’d spent that time sitting in a chair, brooding on it, what sort of life would it have been for her?”
She frowned. “Lonely.”
“Exactly. I knew it could happen, anytime. But I lived from day to day, just like she did. After a while, I got used to the idea, like she did, and we went on with our lives. It was always there, in the background, but it was something we just—” he searched for the word “—lived with. That’s how husbands and wives of people in law enforcement and the military deal with it.”
It was a new concept for her, living with a terrifying reality and getting used to it.
“You’re very young,” he said heavily. “It would be harder for you.”
It probably would. She didn’t answer him. It was something new to think about.
He walked her up the steps to her front door. He looked good in a suit, she thought, smiling.
“What are you thinking?” he teased.
“That you look very elegant in a suit.”
He shrugged. “It’s a nice suit.”
“It’s a nice man wearing it.”
“Thanks. I like your dress.”
She grinned. “It’s old, but I like the color. It’s called Rose Dust.”
He fingered the lacy collar. He wouldn’t have told her, because it would hurt her feelings, but it looked like the sort of dress a high school girl would wear. It wasn’t sophisticated, or even old enough for her now. But he just smiled.
“Nice color,” he agreed.
She cocked her head, feeling reckless. “Going to kiss me?” she asked.
“I was thinking about it.”
“And what did you decide?”
He stuck his hands in his pockets and just smiled down at her. “That would be rushing things a little too much,” he said gently. “You want to date and get to know each other. I think that’s a good idea. Plenty of time for the other, later.”
“Well, my goodness!”
“Shocked by my patience, are you?” he asked with a grin. “Me, too.”
“Very.”
His eyes were old and wise. “When things get physical, there’s a difference in the way two people are, together. There’s no time to step back and look at how things really are.”
She nodded. “You mean, like Sassy and her husband, John Callister, when they first got married. They couldn’t stand to be apart, even for an hour or two. They still pretty much go everywhere together. And they’re always standing close, or touching.”
“That’s what I mean.”
She frowned. “I haven’t ever felt like that,” she said.
He smiled. “I noticed.”
She flushed. “I’m sorry, I just blurt things out …”
“I don’t mind that you’re honest,” he said. “It helps. A lot.”
She bit her lower lip. “I’d give anything if Uncle John hadn’t hired that man to come work for him.”
“I’m sure your uncle felt the same way. I’m surprised that he never told me about it,” he added curtly.
“I imagine he thought you’d hold him responsible for it. He blamed himself,” she added softly. “He never stopped apologizing.” She sighed. “It didn’t help very much.”
“Of course it didn’t.” He stepped closer and tilted her chin up. “You’ll deal with it. If you don’t think you can, there are some good psychologists. Our department works with two, who live in Billings.”
She made a face. “I don’t think I could talk about something like that to a total stranger.”
He stared at her for a long time. “How about me?” he asked suddenly. “Could you talk about it to me?”
Six
Jillian stared up at him with conflicting emotions. But after a minute she nodded. “I think I could,” she replied finally.
He beamed. His black eyes were twinkling. “That’s a major step forward.”
“Think so?”
“I know so.”
She moved a step closer. “I enjoyed tonight. Thank you.”
He gave her a teasing look and moved a step away. “I did, too, and I’ll thank you to keep your distance. I don’t want to be an object of lust to a single woman who lives alone.”
She gasped theatrically. “You do so!”
“I do?”
“Absolutely!” she agreed. She grinned. “But not right now. Right?”
He laughed. “Not right now.” He bent and brushed a lazy kiss against her forehead. “Get some sleep. I’ll call you Monday.”
“You do that. Not early,” she added, without telling him why. She had a secret, and she wasn’t sharing it.
“Not early,” he agreed. “Good night.”
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