Dream Wedding: Dream Bride / Dream Groom. Susan Mallery
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hadn’t moved her. Perhaps she’d been too young, or they’d been too inexperienced. She’d never felt that ultimate pleasure, either with him, or the two young men she’d been intimate with during college. It was a sad state of affairs that the best it had ever been had been in a dream...with the man just a few feet away from her.
“So Billy was your first boyfriend and your first lover,” Arizona said. “Were you in love with him?”
“Yes. Deeply. He stole my heart and I’ve never been sure I got all the pieces back from him.”
Arizona pushed himself up into a sitting position. They faced each other. “So you believe in love, but you won’t believe in anything magical or mystical.”
“They’re not the same. I’ve experienced love.” She might have experienced magic—in the form of her dream—but she wasn’t ready to admit that to him.
“I don’t,” he said flatly.
It was the second time that night that he’d stunned her into silence. He’d mentioned it before but she hadn’t really believed him. Everyone had to believe in love. Her mind raced, but she couldn’t form any words. Finally she managed to blurt out, “How is that possible? What about all the weird stuff you research? You’ll put your faith in a rock or a story, but not in the depth of human emotion?”
“Exactly.”
“Are we talking about romantic love or all of it? What about parents caring for their children. Most would die for them. Isn’t that a demonstration of love?”
“Yes. I would agree that many parents have strong feelings for their children. In most cases I would be willing to call that love.”
His careful qualification of his answer made her curious, so she filed that information away to ask about another time. She didn’t want to get away from what they were already talking about.
“So it’s just the issue of romantic love you have problems with,” she said.
He nodded.
She was still having trouble believing this conversation. Arizona believed in things she couldn’t even begin to understand, but not love. But love was a fundamental part of the human condition.
“What are you so afraid of?” she asked.
He leaned toward her. “Do you believe in love between a man and a woman?”
“Of course. I plan to avoid it, but I know it exists. I’ve experienced it.”
“With Billy?”
“Yes.”
“Anyone else?”
She shook her head.
“So why do you want to avoid loving a man?”
She struggled to find the words to answer his question. “If you don’t get close, you can’t get hurt. So I avoid getting close.”
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