Wilder Days. Linda Winstead Jones
Читать онлайн книгу.
or his libido.
But he wanted Vic so much it hurt.
She stepped onto the porch to join him. The screen door squealed, the planks on the porch squeaked as she stepped across them. He felt each sharp sound as if it fluttered through his body. This was not good.
“She’s asleep?” he asked.
Vic nodded as she sat in the rocking chair beside him. “Out like a light,” she whispered, as if her voice might disturb the night. And what a night it was. The moon was full and the air had taken on a comfortable cool hint as it washed across the nearby lake and through the trees. The air smelled clean and fresh, the moonlight lit the rustic front porch and the woods before them. And it lit Vic in a way that made her look even more beautiful than she usually did. That in itself was a miracle.
He could not afford to get sloppy and sentimental over a woman. He tried to tell himself that what he felt was just a residual of what they’d had long ago, the faint echo of what an eighteen-year-old had thought was love.
And still, he wanted her.
“How long will you be here?” Vic asked, her voice soft and easy.
“As long as it takes.”
“That’s not—”
“Necessary?” Del interrupted. “No, I guess it’s not. But what am I supposed to do, Vic?” Anger made his voice too caustic. “Leave you here?”
“I can take care of myself.”
“Not this time.”
Vic rocked, silent for a long moment. “Surely no one will find us out here. I’m sure Noelle and I will be fine on our own.”
Was she so anxious to get rid of him? Apparently so. “Let’s get one thing straight, Vic. I’m not leaving here until we have the Mayrons in custody. If I do have to leave, Shock will be here. No one else. I don’t trust anyone but Shock.” With you. He couldn’t say that. He couldn’t reveal that much of himself, to Vic or to anyone else.
Vic sighed, and he felt it. “If it was just me, I’d argue with you,” she said. “But I won’t take risks with Noelle. If there’s even a remote chance those people will find us here…” She turned her head and looked at him, square on for the first time since he’d kissed her. “I’ll do anything to keep Noelle safe,” she said. “Anything.”
He’d use that, if he had to. If she tried to kick him out again he’d appeal to her motherly devotion and protective instincts. “Good. Then we agree that I’m staying.”
Again Vic sighed, and then she nodded her head.
That taken care of, his mind took a more personal bent. While he was making sure Vic was safe, he had to get her out of his head. He wasn’t sure exactly how to do that. Concentrate on her faults and convince himself he was much better off without her? Remember the past and how much it had hurt?
Or sleep with her and get this obsession out of his system, once and for all?
More than once she’d tried to push him away, but she kissed as if she was interested. Very interested.
“Are you…seeing anybody?” he asked.
He felt her eyes on him but continued to stare out at the night. “No. Not at the moment.”
Del nodded. Good.
“You?” she asked.
“Not at the moment.”
He couldn’t tell if her soft hum was one of approval or not. Maybe. Maybe.
“I always figured you’d be married by now. Have a few kids,” she said.
So, she did think about him. “Nope. No time, I guess.”
“You really should. Noelle is the best part of my life.”
Del turned his head and looked at Vic, studied her moonlit profile. He wisely contained his first response— You’ve got to be kidding. “I’ll bet you’re a great mother.”
She smiled gently. “There was a time I thought maybe I was. The past couple of years I’ve had my doubts. I wonder if maybe Noelle wouldn’t be happier if I’d done something different.”
“We all rebel at that age, at least a little.”
“I guess,” she agreed in a low whisper. “Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have forgiven Preston, for Noelle’s sake. Maybe I shouldn’t have—”
“No,” he interrupted, his voice sharp. “You deserve better than that, Vic. Much better.”
She laid her eyes on him and smiled, gentle and confident and…every bit as stirred up as he was.
He didn’t play games, not anymore. He didn’t dance around delicate issues because he was shy or discreet. He’d never had either of those attributes.
“Vic, where am I sleeping tonight?”
Even in the moonlight, it seemed her face went pale. “You can have the bed,” she said. “I’ll take the couch.”
Not exactly the response he’d been hoping for. There were two bedrooms. Noelle was sleeping in one. The other had a queen-size bed and its own personal bathroom. And then there was the sofa in the main room. “I’ll take the couch,” he said.
“It’s too short for you,” Vic protested.
“It folds out into a bed.”
“Oh.”
Yeah, he’d sleep on the couch tonight, and maybe even tomorrow night, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t be there long.
Vic tossed in the bed, unable to get comfortable. Her nightgown twisted around her legs, frustrating her even more. The mattress was too soft, then too hard. The air in the confining room was too hot, then not hot at all. But deep down she knew it wasn’t the bed or the temperature that kept her awake. It was Del.
Where am I sleeping tonight? Why had he asked her that question? It could have been taken more than one way, but there had been nothing innocent about the tone of his deep voice, nothing innocent about the look in his eye as he’d asked that loaded question.
She’d been tempted, momentarily, to answer With me. But she hadn’t and she wouldn’t.
For good reason. Del had lied to her, he’d almost gotten her killed, and he thought he could come riding in here on his white horse and take over. She didn’t need him to protect her. She didn’t need any man to protect her.
More than all that, there was the issue of Noelle. If Del knew she was his daughter he’d never be out of their lives. He’d bring danger with him, the threat from criminals like the ones who’d kidnapped and almost killed her.
And then there was the danger to her heart, and Noelle’s. Preston’s leaving had hurt Noelle and the poor girl was still suffering. She didn’t need another man coming into her life, becoming a part of it and then walking away. And that’s what Del would do, in the end. Walk away. Maybe she could survive the hurt to herself, but to put Noelle through that again? She couldn’t.
Del could never know Noelle was his daughter. And Vic couldn’t get involved with him and continue to lie. It was too hard. So no matter what she wanted, no matter how tempted she was…
Hot once again, she threw off her covers and sat up. She hadn’t been with or wanted a man in years. She was alone, and had been long before the divorce. Alone, but never lonely. She didn’t mind that there was no man in her life. All she needed was her painting and her daughter. Life was simple that way. Simple was good. But Del made her feel lonely, as if she was missing something important. Something beautiful.
On bare feet, Vic slipped out of her room and down the hallway. Passing Noelle’s door, she heard her daughter’s deep, even breathing. As she neared the main room, she heard Del’s