Family Stories. Tessa McDermid
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Frank Robertson, or felt any desire to do so. Do you have any idea what the last three days have been like? I didn’t know if you’d return. And I wasn’t sure what I’d do if you didn’t.”
She tossed her head, the curls that had been loosened by their kisses fluttering around her face. “I don’t want to live without you, Frank. I love you.”
He grabbed her wrists. “You can’t love me, Marian. You don’t know me.”
“I know enough.” Her lips curved upward and she leaned toward him. “Kiss me, Frank, kiss me and tell me you don’t feel something, too.”
“That isn’t love.”
“Kiss me.”
Her insistent command pushed him to the brink. He took her by the shoulders, dragged her against him, his blood pounding as his chest collided with her soft breasts. She murmured against his lips and the action sent him into a frenzy of longing. They sank to the ground, his hands searching for the buttons on her dress, only half-aware of her hands tugging his shirt out of his waistband.
Her skin felt cool. She stiffened when his fingers slid over her breast and he hesitated until she arched against his hand. Her fingernails began a delicate dance under his shirt, trailing patterns over the bare skin of his back until he could hardly breathe.
“Marian…”
She pressed her fingers over his lips. “Don’t say anything, Frank. Just love me, please.”
Her hand found its way to his thigh, moving slowly upward. She hesitated at the front of his trousers. He caught his breath, waiting. Her fingers were light, sending tremors through his entire body. His body threatened to explode under her caresses and he forced himself to slow down, to savor each glorious moment.
He touched one peaked nipple with his fingers and heard her answering moan. When she shifted, he slid his hand under her skirt, edging the sturdy material up until he felt the soft skin of her thigh above her stockings. She ducked her head against his shoulder and he nuzzled her with his chin until she lifted her head and he could reach her lips again.
His fingers skimmed her leg, the skin heating beneath his hand. “Oh, Frank, ” she breathed in wonder.
No woman had blossomed under his hands like she did. The others had been eager for him, willing to open their bodies to relieve a temporary boredom, to find a new experience. But Marian had never been with a man before; he knew that as surely as he knew he was embarking on an unparalleled adventure of his own.
His fingers stilled, his conscience awakened by the knowledge that she was a virgin. As if drugged, he lifted his head and surveyed her with heavy-lidded eyes. “Marian, we need to go back to your house.”
Her hands clutched him around the waist. “Why? Did I do something wrong?”
He heard anguish in her voice and quickly kissed her lips. “No, darling, no. But this isn’t right.”
“I love you, Frank.”
His heart turned over at the words but he wouldn’t take her virginity in the middle of a field. She deserved candlelight and flowers, a soft bed, privacy.
And another man…His conscience jabbed him again. Who are you, anyway? A traveling salesman who’ll go off and leave her after your own passion is sated.
The cold water of reality doused the remnants of his passion. He slid away from her, tucking in his shirt and climbing to his feet.
“Frank?”
He reached out a hand without looking at her. “Marian, we have to go. I don’t need your father coming after me with a shotgun.”
She sprang to her feet. From the corner of his eye, he could see her smoothing down her skirt, brushing away grass and leaves that had attached themselves during their aborted lovemaking. “I’ll bet if Flossie were here, you wouldn’t have stopped.”
He gripped her shoulders. “Don’t compare yourself to Flossie, ” he snapped. Her eyes were a deep midnight blue, the passion only slightly masked by her anger.
Her eyes narrowed. “So, you did notice Flossie.”
“Marian…”
She swung out of his hold. “She’s been with every man in town, Frank. Do you want to be another in her long list?”
She looked so brave, with her chin in the air, her eyes narrowed. And so young. His anger melted away, swallowed by his chuckle at her defiant manner.
“No, Marian, I don’t. But that’s exactly why you shouldn’t compare yourself to her. She’s not fit to be in the same room with you.”
Mollified, she let her chin drop a fraction. “Then why did you stop?”
A wave of tenderness washed over him. “You’re too young—”
“I am not!” She took his hand and held it to her breast. “I’m a woman, Frank.”
His passion threatened to engulf his common sense again and he shifted away. “Marian, I should never have come out here with you. This was wrong. You are too young and I won’t take advantage of your innocence this way.”
“I’m not too young, Frank. I will never feel like this about another man. I know that and nothing you can say will change it.”
Her fingers were fumbling with her buttons. He swore, swiftly closing the gapping material himself. Tears glistened on her lashes. He barely stopped himself from bending down and kissing them away. “Marian, you’re so beautiful and young. One day you’ll meet a man who will make you forget all about me, except as some long-ago memory from a summer’s day.”
“Stop it.” She pushed his hands away, then planted her hands on her hips. “Stop talking about me as if I were a child! And stop treating me like one.” She caressed his cheek. “Frank, believe me. I’m old enough to listen to my own heart. I love you.”
His hands circled her wrists. “Marian, you don’t even know me, ” he said with increasing desperation. “I don’t have any money and I don’t have a job.”
“Father promised to help you get one. You could settle down here and—”
His quiet voice interrupted her. “I’m not the kind to stay anywhere for very long, Marian.”
She stared at him, eyes unblinking, then twisted out of his grasp. “I see.” Without looking at him, she smoothed down an imaginary wrinkle on her skirt. “Well, before you go, explain something to me. Why did you stop? I was in your arms, willing to be plucked like a ripe pear.” He winced at her description but didn’t say anything. “Wouldn’t your buddies have liked hearing about the minister’s daughter and how easily she fell under your spell?”
“Marian, I wouldn’t tell anyone else about us.”
Spots of color stood out on her cheeks. “Please, Frank, don’t add to my embarrassment by lying.”
Miserable and ashamed, he didn’t speak right away. He had bragged about his conquests to the other salesmen. On the trains, late at night, they’d laugh about the lonely women they’d met, sharing stories and sometimes even addresses.
He wrenched his thoughts back to the woman in front of him. Tearstains streaked her face but she still managed to retain her dignity and beauty, standing before him in anger and defiance.
“You never had any intention of settling down, did you? You just let Father talk. Were you planning to catch the next train out of town after you were finished with me?”
“Marian, I never intended any of this to happen.”
She stepped away from him, her shoulders hunched protectively. He stretched out one hand and let it fall back to his side without touching her.
How could he tell her about his conflicting emotions? He’d never wanted anything except the lure