A Father This Christmas?. Louisa Heaton
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introduced her friend and Sarah practically melted over him, shaking his hand as if she’d never let go, as if his hand was somehow magically feeding her oxygen or something.
Eva rolled her eyes at her friend’s blatant fawning, and when she could finally stand the overt flirting no longer she deliberately walked between them, so that their handshaking had to be broken off to allow her through.
‘Let me introduce you to everyone.’
Jacob dropped into step beside her. ‘Thanks. So...you’re going to be my new boss?’
She shook her head. No. Definitely not. ‘Dr Clarkson is clinical lead.’
‘How long have you been here?’
‘Since before I met you.’ She grimaced at how easily she’d referred to when they’d met. Now he would be remembering it, too.
She almost stopped walking. Couldn’t believe she’d referred to it. Her stomach became a solid lump of cold ice. Her feet felt as if they were inside concrete boots and walking was like trying to wade through molasses.
How do I tell him?
‘How was Africa?’
There. That was better. Turn the focus back onto him. It gave her time to breathe. Time to think. Time to formulate the answers she knew she’d have to provide.
‘Hot. And dry. But amazing. Life-changing.’
There was something odd in his voice then, and she voluntarily turned to look at him, trying not to be pulled by the lure of those sexy blue eyes that had got her into so much trouble in the first place.
‘It’s been life-changing here, too. But it sounds like you might have a few stories to tell?’
She could tell him a few! About what had happened after he’d left. About the decisions she’d had to make. How she’d done everything alone—as always. But she couldn’t right now. How could she? He’d only just got here. He’d only just arrived. Let the poor guy take his coat off before—
‘I certainly do. We ought to catch up some time.’
He paused briefly, then reached out to catch her arm. Electricity crackled along her skin like a lightning strike.
‘I’m glad you’re here.’
His touch burned her skin and she stared at him in shock before pulling her arm free. Unable to stand his close contact, and the effect it was having on her breathing and pulse rate, she stepped farther away, putting a trolley between them and distracting herself by fiddling with the pressed bed sheets, pillowcases and yellow blankets piled upon it.
She picked up one or two and took great interest in folding and refolding them, giving herself time to recover from his touch. To cool down. For her heart rate to slow.
Time to think of something to say.
How did you tell a man that he was a father? Completely out of the blue?
By the way, you ought to know...you’re a father.
No! She couldn’t say it like that. It wasn’t something you could come straight out with. There had to be some sort of preamble. An introduction.
Jacob? You remember that night we spent together? Look, I know we used protection, but somehow it didn’t work and...
Hmm... That didn’t seem all that marvellous, either.
Jacob...there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come straight out with it...you’re a father.
‘Let me show you around the department’ was what she came up with.
That was easier. By being professional, by not actually looking at him, she could almost forget...almost pretend he was someone else. A junior, maybe. A complete stranger.
She led him around the Minors area and then into Majors, Resus, Triage, the waiting room, stockrooms, sluice and cubicles, talking nonstop about all kinds of things—hospital policy, staff rotas, tricks to know when dealing with the computer—anything and everything but the one thing she wished she could talk to him about but was afraid to tell him.
She was talking so he didn’t have the chance to ask questions. And all the while aware of his proximity, his dark brooding outline, his expensive clothing, the feel of him near her once again.
She knew she was babbling. He was playing havoc with her senses. It was as if her body had been awoken by his presence. The way a flower reacted to the sun.
Her mind devilishly replayed a memory of his kiss. How his lips had felt upon hers. How they’d drifted ever so lightly across her skin, sending shivers of delicious delight through her body, arousing her nerve endings to touch in a way they had never been before, making her ache for more.
Eva could remember it all too well.
Every sizzling second of it.
Jacob had made her feel so alive! She’d had a long day at work that day, and when she’d made it to that party she’d felt exhausted—bereft of feeling. Yet in his arms she’d become energised, had tingled and yearned for his every touch, savouring every caress, consuming every desire and gasping her way through her ecstasy.
Feeling alive once again.
That one night had changed her entire life.
She shivered at the thought, those goosebumps rising again and her nipples hardening against her bra in expectancy. He was the only man who had ever made her feel that way. The only man she’d ever slept with since that night. The memory of him, the experience of him, had stopped her being intimate with any other. No one could measure up to his memory.
Not that there’d been anyone to challenge it, really.
Eva mumbled her way through the details of the filing system and how to operate the computer patient files, work through any glitches on the system, then asked him if he’d like to take on his first patient.
He cocked his head as he looked at her, trying to get her to make eye contact. ‘You okay? I mean, I hope our having to work together isn’t going to be uncomfortable?’
No, I’m not okay. You’re back! You’re back, and I had no warning. No time to prepare. And I have something momentous to tell you. And it will change your life. And I’m so aware of that and—
‘I’m fine. It’s...just been a difficult morning.’
He nodded in understanding. ‘Anything I can help with?’
‘No.’
He raised his eyebrow in such a perfect arch it was all she could do not to race into his arms there and then.
‘Are you sure?’
How are you with kids? Do you even like children? Because I have some news for you...
Eva sighed and shook her head.
No, she wasn’t sure.
She wasn’t sure at all.
How to tell him that he was father to a beautiful, bright, funny, gorgeous three-year-old boy, who obsessed over lions and tigers and looked exactly like him?
She swallowed a lump in her throat as fear overturned her stomach. Nausea unsettled her. A close sweat beaded her brow as guilt and shame overflowed from the box where she normally kept all those feelings tightly locked away.
What was she to do?
* * *
Eva slammed a patient file down hard on the doctors’ desk, the slap of cardboard on table echoing around the department, then sank heavily into a chair. Her fingertips punched into the keyboard as she began to write up some notes. She had no time. They were already running behind. Patients were filling