The Rancher's Family Thanksgiving. Cathy Thacker Gillen
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thought about the last time they had made love. She thought about how quickly they undressed whenever they fell into each other’s arms and how swiftly they put their clothes back on when reality hit them over the heads and the passion was spent. She thought about the wistful yearning she always suffered afterward. How she wished she and he had the kind of relationship where they could cuddle and share pillow talk and make love whenever they pleased, however much they pleased. She wished they could have the kind of relationship where they saw each other and hung out together all the time, even when their lives were excessively dull.
Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the case in the past, and for reasons far beyond their control, would not be so in the future.
Susie exhaled in frustration.
She needed to get a grip.
Stop letting her parents’ constant talk of love and romance and finding the perfect man to settle down with fill her head with romantic notions. She needed to be practical. And a realistic assessment of her recent actions indicated that she had completely overreacted to Tyler’s showing up early at the driving range. True, he’d had no business hovering over her like a chaperone intent on breaking up the first sign of familiarity, but she knew he had meant well, even if he had been ridiculously overprotective.
What really annoyed her was how traitorous and guilty his mere presence had made her feel.
It wasn’t as if she had been cheating on him, or was being unfaithful to him in any way. Sure, the two of them had impetuously crossed the line from friends to lovers four times in the past decade. Each time, they had promised themselves and each other there wouldn’t be a next time.
Each time, there had been a very good reason.
The first time they had come together like that had been on her twenty-first birthday. She was feeling sorry for herself, thinking that because of her illness, and the possibility it may come back, she would never get close enough to anyone to make love. Tyler had told her she was wrong, and the next thing they knew they had ended up in her dorm room bed. She had pushed him away afterward, accepting that it never should have happened.
The second time had been four years later, when he had passed his boards and gotten his license to practice veterinary medicine. He’d called her, wanting to celebrate. They’d had way too many margaritas. And somehow ended up in bed, again. That time they’d fallen asleep afterward. They’d awakened at dawn, hung over, happy—about his success—but mortified by their lapse in judgment.
It had been awkward for them for a while. They were both embarrassed by the sheer physical abandon with which they’d given themselves to each other. But eventually they’d chalked it up to an alcoholic and joyful aberration and gone back to being crisis buddies once again.
Which of course was how the third time had come about, several years after that.
One of Tyler’s college friends had been killed in an accident, and he’d been devastated by his buddy’s death. Susie had gone to the funeral in Corpus Christi with Tyler and they’d ended up talking in their hotel room late into the night. Tyler had been so sad, so devastated, it had seemed only right that Susie reach out to him. One hug had turned into two. Before she had known it, they were kissing again, and once they started kissing, there was no reason either of them could think of to stop. Fueled by grief and sadness and the need to feel, in that instant, very much alive, they had tumbled right back into bed.
They’d made love through the night that time. Fiercely, passionately.
By the time morning came, they had come to grips with the passing of his friend. But were more confused than ever about what had transpired between them. They knew it wouldn’t have happened had the two of them been back in Laramie, Tyler not reeling with grief. So again, they had promised themselves. No more.
And that vow had held until the day a year before, when Susie’d had a close call on the job. She was out doing a bid on a property, inspecting a tree that had died and needed to be removed, when one of the rotting limbs broke off and came down, knocking her to the ground, narrowly missing her head. Her crew had insisted she go to the hospital and get checked out. Her parents had overreacted even though all Susie had to show for the near-death experience was a few bruises and a torn shirt.
Meg and Luke had wanted her to go home with them.
She’d called Tyler and had him come and get her instead.
Tyler had told her parents he would stay with Susie through the night—a move that had turned out to be both good and bad. Good because when the enormity of what had nearly happened finally hit Susie she had started crying and couldn’t stop. Tyler had held her until the storm passed, and a different storm started. Once again, they had ended up in her bed.
Making love with him that night had been the perfect remedy for the calamity. The usual confusion and promises not to ever do it again had followed. And they had kept that promise. Until tonight.
The fact they had ended up in each other’s arms this evening really was no surprise, Susie silently reassured herself.
Her parents had a talent for driving her absolutely crazy. And now, thanks to her plea for his intervention, Tyler was being driven to distraction by the situation, too.
Fortunately, this time, for the first time, their coming together like that had started and ended with a single kiss. His emergency call had removed them from a situation rife with physical temptation and emotional pitfalls.
And now that she had gotten the much-needed break, she had to take a step back. Take a deep breath, and go back to what worked best for her, living moment to moment. No plans for the future, other than the ones she had for her business.
The upcoming holidays were going to be tough enough without adding another emotionally complicated but ultimately going-nowhere lovemaking session with Tyler to the mix. Thanksgiving was so family-centered. It always brought home to her the things that would never be hers—a husband, children, the deep, inherent belief she would have everything she had ever wanted, everything she deserved, and live to a ripe old age.
All that and more had been taken from her. She didn’t care what anyone said. No platitude or encouragement could bring it back.
“Still ticked off at me for kissing you that way?” Tyler drawled, turning his pickup into the fair grounds where the Laramie County barrel racing competition was being held.
How could she be mad at him when she was equally to blame?
Susie flashed a smile. “Not a problem as long as you don’t do it again.”
Tyler’s expression remained inscrutable. He searched for a parking place. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Which was not the same thing as promising to abstain, Susie noted.
Jimmy Rooney and his father met them at the entrance to the horse barn. Mr. Rooney was a mild-looking man, unlike his son, who seemed like an arrogant kid.
Susie sized up the sixteen-year-old with the custom-made Western clothing, expensive hat and hand-tooled boots, and the fifty-year-old man beside him. She figured out two things right off the bat. The kid was in charge here, not the parent, and the kid was trouble.
Mr. Rooney shook hands with Tyler. Unlike his son, he was all grace and warmth. “I’d like you to examine Catastrophe. I thought he was favoring his right front leg during the warm-up, but couldn’t be sure.”
“I told you, Dad. I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary when I was riding him!” Jimmy Rooney glared at Tyler. “You’ll see. Nothing is wrong with my horse. Nothing that would keep me from racing him tonight anyway.” Jimmy brushed past the other contestants in the barn, and led the way to the stall where his horse was quartered.
With a gentle word to the sleek stallion, Tyler entered the stall and squatted to examine the dark brown quarter horse, with the glossy black mane and tail. “I can feel the heat in this leg.”
Jimmy sent a panicked, angry look at his father. “We’re supposed to compete tonight!”