Big Girls Don't Cry. Brenda Novak
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“Are you sure Daddy won’t move here?” Jennifer asked. The oldest at ten, she always tried to claim the passenger seat. But for safety’s sake, Reenie made her ride in back with her sister.
The wipers continued to beat across the windshield. “I’m sure,” Reenie said, watching as great gusts of wind turned the rusty weather vane on the old barn.
“Can’t you talk him into it?” The snaps of Jennifer’s raincoat made a popping noise as she removed it.
“No.” Suppressing a sigh, Reenie turned down the heater. She’d tried to convince Keith that the Higley farm would be a wonderful place to raise their girls. She’d spoken to him about it again and again, but he wanted no part of such a big project. He wasn’t the type to remodel or farm, he told her. He traveled too much.
But she’d thought the farm might eventually provide a way for him to settle down and stay in one place. They could raise and sell a certain breed of dog or horse or pig. They could stable horses or plant crops or lease out the extra land. Reenie knew how to ride. She could even give lessons to the kids in town who rarely had the chance to sit in a saddle. Maybe she and Keith wouldn’t make a mint with their little farm, but he wasn’t earning all that much right now. The company he worked for made plenty of grandiose promises for later, but “later” never came. At least with the farm they’d be together. If finances became a problem, she could always go back to teaching. The life she had now was nice, comfortable. She took care of her girls, helped her mother with various charities and volunteered at the elementary school. But it wasn’t enough. What she really wanted was a good challenge. And for Keith to stay in Dundee.
“He won’t move here ever?” Jennifer pressed.
“Maybe in a few years.” All his traveling had to be taxing, but Keith never complained. He loved his job, and she loved him. It was that simple. She’d known there wasn’t anyone else for her the day they’d first met. He’d walked into the Homecoming Dance, the new kid everyone had been talking about, and Reenie’s heart had dropped to her knees. She couldn’t remember ever having that kind of reaction to another man. It wasn’t because Keith was so handsome, although his rugged, angular face, dark blond hair and brown eyes certainly appealed to her. His confidence was what drew her, his strength. He was one of the few boys she couldn’t intimidate with the force of her own personality.
“What time’s Daddy coming home?” Angela asked.
Reminded of Keith’s call, which she’d received at her mother’s house earlier, Reenie frowned and put the transmission into Drive. “Not for a while.”
“But you said he’d be here for dinner!” Jennifer complained.
The heater whirred softly as Reenie leaned forward to glance up at a darkening sky. “He would’ve been, if not for this storm.” She threw them a rueful smile. Jennifer and Angela looked almost exactly like Keith, especially Angela, who insisted on wearing her blond hair short. Blue-eyed Isabella, however, had hair so dark it was nearly black, like Reenie’s.
“There’s always some reason he can’t be here,” Jennifer muttered.
Ignoring the pique in her daughter’s voice, Reenie checked over her shoulder before pulling onto the road. “I guess the weather’s even worse in Boise.”
“Is he stuck up in the sky, circling around and around, like that one time when it was snowing and he couldn’t land?” Angela asked, sounding a bit frightened.
“No. The plane hasn’t even taken off yet. They’re holding it in Los Angeles until the weather clears up.”
“He’ll be home tonight, though, won’t he?” Isabella said.
Lightning flashed across the sky and thunder boomed in the distance. Then the patter of the rain grew deeper, sounding like tiny pebbles bombarding the windshield. “I hope so,” Reenie replied. She missed Keith when he was gone, missed his warmth in her bed, his support with the girls, the smile he reserved for her alone. She felt as if half her life was locked in cold storage. But when Keith came home, he made the wait worthwhile.
She felt decidedly warmer remembering the last time they’d made love. They’d been as eager for each other as if they’d been newlyweds, despite the fact they’d been married for eleven years. Maybe the absences did that for them. Maybe the traveling, much as she hated it, wasn’t all bad.
She had to believe that, didn’t she? Or she wouldn’t be able to tolerate his job any longer.
Their small wooden house came up on the right, a few miles after the cozier neighbourhoods of Dundee gave way to ranchettes. As soon as Reenie pulled into the driveway, Jennifer released her seat belt and pounded the back of Reenie’s seat in excitement. “Hey, you’re selling Dad’s Jeep!”
Reenie gazed at the vehicle parked beneath the tarp Keith had attached to the side of the garage. She’d just put the For Sale sign up this morning. “I’m trying.”
“After it sells, will we have the money to buy a horse?” Jennifer asked.
The engine sputtered as Reenie turned off the ignition. “I doubt it, honey. We don’t have anywhere to stable a horse.”
“We have a big yard. The Oakleys down the street have horses.”
“We’d have to build stables in back or pay the Oakleys for board. And I’m sure your dad won’t go for either option. He’s planning to buy a motorcycle with the money.”
“Maybe we’ll get enough for both.” Angela tugged her backpack onto her shoulder. “Has anyone wanted to buy it yet?”
“Not that I know of.” Reenie selected the key that opened the house so she’d be ready for the dash across the wet yard. “Someone might’ve called, but I’ve been gone all day.”
“Let’s go see!” Isabella said.
Reenie grimaced at the sky, hoping for a letup that didn’t appear to be coming. “There won’t be many people out looking at cars in this weather.”
“It’ll sell,” Jennifer said confidently. “Everyone loves the Jeep.”
“I hope you’re right.” Reenie wanted part of the money, too—for Christmas.
“Hey,” Isabella said, her voice so loud it nearly made Reenie’s ears ring. “Uncle Gabe brought our swing!”
Since the accident, Gabe had started making the most beautiful armoires, rocking chairs, beds, tables—even clocks and, evidently, tree swings. But after the way he’d handled their meeting with Lucky this morning, Reenie didn’t want to think about him or his peace offering. She didn’t want to forgive her brother too fast. She’d tried calling Lucky twice since breakfast and hadn’t been able to reach her.
“Remember to take off your boots in the mudroom,” she said as she stepped out of the car. “I just had the carpets cleaned.”
They all ran for the back door and piled into the little antechamber that led to the kitchen. Old Bailey, their bassett hound, greeted them by wagging his whole hindquarters as they tossed their boots in a corner and hung their raincoats on hooks.
Reenie finished first because she wasn’t wearing a hat or a sweater under her coat and passed into the kitchen to find the light blinking on her answering machine. Pressing the button that would deliver her messages, she leaned on the counter, hoping to receive some word from her husband.
Sure enough, Keith’s voice came into the room, as warm and steady as always. “Hi honey. I’m still in L.A. It looks like it’ll be a few more hours, so I’m going down the street for a real meal. Don’t wait up for me. I love you,” he said. “I’ll get home as soon as I can.”
The machine beeped and Reenie stood. Yet another night alone with the girls.
“His job’ll be the death of me,” she muttered.
Los Angeles, California