From Daredevil to Devoted Daddy. Barbara McMahon
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“Hey, man,” his friend Paul said.
“What’s up?” Matt responded. He knew—Paul was partying already. He could hear the background noise of a club.
“Having a great time. You should come over. It wouldn’t be that long a drive, would it? I’ve got some hot babes lined up. We can party until dawn.”
Over the last year Paul had tried to set him up with several women. His friend felt enough time had passed for Matt to get back into the dating scene. Never having married himself, Paul really didn’t understand. There was no magical time to stop grieving. No magical moment when a man said forget the past, marry again. Matt couldn’t see himself deliberately putting his heart and emotions at risk. Once shattered, he wasn’t willing to take the risk of getting involved again. The fear of another marriage ending suddenly and horribly couldn’t be ignored. He’d had his shot at happiness. Now it was time to come to terms with the hand life had dealt.
“Party until dawn and then go climbing?” Matt asked. A sure formula for disaster.
“We could sleep in a little, then hit the cliffs. I got in a climb today. Beat my own record for going up and back,” Paul said.
Even in climbing Paul couldn’t lose his competitiveness.
“Did you like the view?” Matt asked.
“What view? Water below me, rock in my face. Hey, I could show you that climb tomorrow, race you to the top.”
Jeanne-Marie and her son stepped out onto the veranda, three bowls on a tray. Alexandre proudly carried spoons.
Another time Matt might have skipped dessert, but he was tempted by the novelty of eating with her and her son. Now it also provided a good excuse to end the call.
“You have a drink for me, Paul. I’ll skip tonight but be in touch. We’ll meet up later in the week and scale something together.”
“Ah, man, you’ll be missing some kind of fun.”
“My loss,” Matt said, not believing a word. He flipped the phone closed as Jeanne-Marie placed one of the bowls in front of him. Alexandre solemnly handed him a spoon, then scampered around to sit in the chair across from him. Jeanne-Marie placed a bowl with a smaller serving in front of Alexandre. Jeanne-Marie sat to Matt’s right, throwing him an uncertain look as if not sure of her welcome.
He was momentarily taken aback. Giving in with poor grace, he accepted they would sit with him until each had finished their dessert.
The apple crumble was warm and cinnamony, the rich vanilla ice cream a delicious addition. The dessert almost melted in his mouth.
“This is delicious.” Even his own cook rarely had a dessert as tasty as this.
“Thank you.”
“You should offer dinner to your guests. They’d enjoy your cooking.” He had enjoyed it. And the fact he didn’t have to leave the inn.
She smiled shyly and shook her head. “I have everything going the way I like. There’s such a thing as too much, you know.”
“Such as?”
“Trading my afternoons with Alexandre to cook for as many as fifteen people day in, day out would be too much. I try to be creative with my breakfasts, though. You’d know if you try them.”
“I plan to sample one in the morning. If I can still get an early start.”
“I can provide breakfast as early as six-thirty if I know ahead of time. Sometimes people go diving or out on one of the cruise ships and need an equally early start. I also fix the box lunches for them to take.”
“Six-thirty it is.”
Matt savored the dessert. He watched Alexandre scrape every bit of it from his bowl and lick his spoon as if hoping more would appear. It reminded him of Etienne. He almost smiled, then felt a pang at his loss. Was that a trait of all little boys? Etienne would have loved this dessert.
Alexandre looked up at Matt, dropping his spoon in the bowl with a clatter. “Can you go for a walk with me now? And can you take me to climb a mountain?”
“Monsieur Sommer is too tired to go walking with us,” Jeanne-Marie said quickly. “And there are no mountains nearby.”
Truth was he would relish an early night, but the look of disappointment on the boy’s face and the quick way she’d tried to shut him out perversely caused him to agree to the walk. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to spend more time with them, but the less she wanted him around, the more he wanted to stay. There was nothing in his room but memories he’d just as soon forget.
“I’m not eighty. A good meal and I’m ready to go. A short walk sounds like just the thing before bed,” he said, holding her gaze for a moment in challenge.
“It becomes rocky the closer to Les Calanques we go,” she said, glancing at the cliffs, now growing dark and mysterious as the last of the daylight faded.
What was it about her that made him want to spend time with her? Normally he stayed away from people. Was it the novelty of someone not tiptoeing around him that had him interested? Or her quiet appeal that he found intriguing? She didn’t flirt, didn’t try to sound witty and entertaining. Didn’t avoid subjects for fear of his reaction. Of course, she didn’t know about his wife and child. That might change matters.
Jeanne-Marie cleared their bowls and spoke to Rene before returning to the veranda. Matt listened to Alexandre talking about his day playing with his race cars and how he helped make the bread and that he still had to take naps, which he didn’t need anymore because he wasn’t a baby and would be starting kindergarten in the fall. And about how his dad had climbed very high mountains and he wanted to as well.
Matt nodded at Alexandre’s earnest conversation and remembered Etienne had been like that. He remembered his son going on and on like this boy did. And he remembered his following Matt around the vineyard, questioning everything. He had had a million questions. God, Matt wished he’d been able to answer them all.
“A short walk,” Jeanne-Marie said when she returned onto the veranda.
When Matt stood, Alexandre slipped his small hand in his larger one. He was startled by the feeling of protectiveness that surged toward this small boy. He missed his son. He’d had him until his fifth year. Not nearly long enough. Etienne should have grown up, married, lived a full life.
Instead he was gone.
But for a few moments, Matt would suspend the past and just be with a small boy. And remember the happier days with his own son.
The walk along the beach would have been in silence except for the constant babble from Alexandre. He seemed capable of chattering away forever without comment from either adult. Not that Matt had anything to say. The sea on one side, the last of the establishments on the other and the cliffs ahead. It didn’t call for much comment.
Jeanne-Marie looked at him, her expression bemused. “You’re doing well with this. I guess it comes from being around your own son. He can talk your ear off.”
“He’s young, still learning so much. Life is easier at that age.” Oddly he was enjoying the walk. It was amazing what a five-year-old had to talk about. The poignant loss of his son was overshadowed by the delight this child had in his surroundings.
“Did you grow up here?” he asked when Alexandre pulled away to run ahead to a piece of driftwood.
She shook her head. It was harder to see her as the light waned. Soon they’d have to be guided by the lights spilling out from the scattered buildings along the beach.
“I was born and raised in California. My parents are both professors at the university in Berkeley. We lived not too far from the campus. I met Phillipe when I came to France as an exchange student in my junior year. I stayed and graduated from La Sorbonne. When we married, we lived in Marseilles. That’s where he was from.