Penny Jordan Tribute Collection. PENNY JORDAN
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life of his people,’ the prince was continuing. ‘A truly excellent idea!’ Smiling at her, he started to move on.
So that was what Xavier had meant! Already dropping her head in deference to the prince, Mariella suddenly raised it, intending to glare at Xavier, but instead she was overcome by a dizzying surge of weakness.
‘Ella, what is it? What’s wrong?’ Tanya demanded anxiously. ‘You look as though you’re going to faint! Feeling sick… looking like you’re going to faint—anyone would think you’re pregnant!’ Tanya laughed.
As her sister turned away Mariella realised that Xavier was looking straight at her, and she knew immediately from his expression that he had heard Tanya’s teasing comment and that somehow he had guessed the truth!
The urge to turn and run was so strong that she suspected if the gallery had not been so crowded she would have done so. But once again Xavier seemed to be able to read her mind because suddenly he was standing beside her.
‘Your sister isn’t well,’ she heard him telling Tanya curtly. ‘I’m taking her back to the villa.’
‘No,’ Mariella protested, but it was too late. Khalid was urging Tanya to go with him to get something to eat, and Xavier was already propelling her towards the exit.
It was impossible for either of them to say anything in the car with Ali driving. ‘This way,’ Xavier told Mariella grimly once they were back at the villa, stopping her from seeking the sanctuary of her own room as his hand on the small of her back ushered her towards his own suite of rooms.
‘You can’t do this!’ Mariella said shakily. ‘I’m a single woman, remember, and—’
‘A single woman who is carrying my child!’ Xavier stopped her savagely as he opened the suite door and almost pushed her inside.
Mariella could feel herself starting to tremble. She didn’t have the strength for this kind of fight. Not now and probably not ever!
‘Xavier, I’m tired. It’s been a long day.’
‘Why the hell didn’t you say something? Or were you hoping that by not eating and by exhausting yourself you could provoke a natural end to it?’ he accused, ignoring her plea.
‘No,’ Mariella denied immediately, horrified. ‘No! How dare you say that? I would never…’ Tears filled her eyes. ‘I wanted this baby,’ she told him passionately. ‘I…’
Abruptly she stopped, her expression betraying her as she saw the way he was looking at her.
‘Would you mind repeating that?’ he demanded with dangerous softness.
Nervously Mariella licked her lips.
‘Repeat what?’ she asked him.
‘Don’t play games with me Mariella,’ he warned her. ‘You know perfectly well what I mean. You just said “I wanted this baby”… “wanted,” rather than “want,” which means… which means that it wasn’t just sex you wanted from me, as you claimed, was it?
‘What? Nothing to say?’ he challenged her bitingly. ‘Not even an “it was an accident”?’
Mariella bit down hard on her lower lip.
She wasn’t going to demean herself by lying to him!
‘You don’t have to worry,’ she tried to defend herself, her voice wobbling. ‘I won’t ever make any kind of claims on you, Xavier. I intend to take full responsibility for… for everything. I want to take full responsibility,’ she stressed fiercely. ‘There’s no way I intend to let my baby suffer as I did through having a father who…’
‘Your baby?’ Xavier stopped her harshly. ‘Your baby, Mariella, is my child! My child!’
‘No!’ Mariella denied immediately. ‘This baby has nothing whatsoever to do with you, Xavier. He or she will be completely mine!’
‘Nothing to do with me! I don’t believe I’m hearing this,’ Xavier breathed savagely. ‘This baby… my baby has everything to do with me, Mariella. After all, without me he or she just could not exist! I’ll make arrangements for us to be married as quickly and as quietly as possible, and then—’
‘Married! No!’ Mariella refused vehemently, her panic showing in her expression as she confronted him. ‘I’m not going to get married, Xavier. Not ever. When my mother married my father, she believed that he loved her, that she could trust him, rely on him… but she couldn’t. He left her… He left us both because he didn’t want me.’
All the emotions she had been bottling up inside her whooshed out in a despairing stream of agonised denial, even whilst somewhere deep down inside her most guarded private self there was a deep burning pain at the thought of just how very, very much she wanted Xavier’s total commitment for her baby and for herself. His total commitment and his enduring love! The pain of her own self-knowledge was virtually unbearable. She ached for him to simply take her in his arms and hold her safe, to keep her safe for ever, and yet at the same time her own self-conditioning was urging her to deny and deride those feelings to protect herself.
‘I am not your father, Mariella, and where my child is concerned—’ his mouth tightened ‘—in Zuran it is a father whose rights are paramount. I would be within my legal rights in ensuring that you are not permitted to leave the country with my child—either before or after his or her birth!’
Distraught, Mariella demanded passionately, ‘Why are you doing this? Your own aunt told me that you had sworn never to marry or have children; that you didn’t want a wife or children.’
‘No,’ Xavier stopped her curtly. ‘It is true that I had decided not to marry, but not because I didn’t want… The reason I had chosen not to marry was because I believed I could never find a woman who would love me as a man, with fire and passion and commitment, and that I wouldn’t be able to find a woman also who would understand and accept my responsibilities to my people. I didn’t think that such a woman could exist!’
‘And because she doesn’t… because I am carrying your child, you’re prepared to marry me instead, is that it? I can’t do it, Xavier. I won’t, I won’t be married, just because of the baby.’ Her voice began to wobble betrayingly as her emotions overwhelmed her and to her own humiliation tears flooded her eyes and began to roll down her face. Helplessly Mariella lifted her hands to her face to shield herself, unable to bear Xavier’s contemptuous response to her distress. It must be baby hormones that were making her cry like this, making her feel so weak and vulnerable!
‘Mariella.’
Mariella froze with shock as she felt the warmth of Xavier’s exhaled breath against her skin, as he crossed the space between them and took her in his arms.
‘Don’t!’ His voice was rough with pain. ‘I can’t bear the thought of knowing that you and my child, the two people I love the most, will be lost to me, but I can’t bear either knowing that I have forced you to stay with me against your will. When you came to me in the desert, gave yourself to me… it was as though you had read my mind. Shared my thoughts and my feelings, known how much I had wanted us to be together, and known too that I had been waiting for the right opportunity to approach you and tell you how I felt, but I was conscious of what had happened during your own childhood with your father. I wanted to win your belief in me, your trust of me… before I revealed to you how much I wanted to ask you to share my life! I knew how strong your sense of commitment was, your sense of responsibility, and I knew that the future of my people would rest safely in your hands. I thought that together you and I could… but I was wrong, as you made very clear to me… You didn’t love me; you didn’t even really want me. You merely wanted someone to father your child.
‘I want and need both of you here with me more than I can find the words to tell you, but I cannot bear to see you so distressed. I shall make arrangements for you to return to England if that is what you want, but what I would ask you is that you allow me to play at least some part in