When Love Is True. Joan Kilby
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out of the tin for Brianna. “I’ll fix it myself and ask for a reduction in rent.”
Chloe’s eyebrows rose. She still wasn’t used to being with a man who could not only build a house from the ground up but who could fix anything that was broken. She poured the tea, and then carried steaming mugs into the living room.
Daniel was sitting on the floor with Brianna. After a moment’s hesitation, Chloe lowered herself to the carpet to join them, tucking in one leg in and stretching out the other. Brianna sat between Chloe and Daniel, slightly wobbly but holding herself up. Chloe handed her a squeaky toy and the little girl pressed on the plastic dog with both hands, trying to make it squeak.
Daniel sipped his tea. “What did you do today?”
“Laundry, cleaning…The usual stuff.” Chloe pressed her fingers into her stomach and felt the muscles that had gone soft with disuse and stretching during her pregnancy. If she was dancing they would soon tighten up again, but she wasn’t going back—at least not right away. They couldn’t afford child care and, anyway, she wanted to be home with Brianna. “The Joffrey Ballet is in town from New York. If my mother can baby-sit, do you want to go?”
Daniel snorted. “Pay all that money to watch a bunch of guys in tights? No, thanks.”
Chloe glanced away, stung by his dismissive tone and remembering the performance she’d attended with Evan, the week before he’d left. Afterward, they’d discussed the story behind the dance and talked about how skillfully the dancers had interpreted it.
Silence descended on the room, the only sound the beating of the rain on the roof and Brianna’s soft babbling. The tot banged her play dog on the carpet, finally eliciting a tiny squeak. Not satisfied with this, however, she twisted around and offered the toy to her father.
Daniel made the dog squeak and Brianna gurgled happily, displaying a gummy grin with two small bottom teeth. Then Daniel growled and tickled Brianna’s tummy with the plaything. She convulsed in a belly laugh, her bright blue gaze darting between Chloe and Daniel as if inviting them both to share in her delight.
“She’s really alert, isn’t she?” Daniel’s voice was full of pride.
Chloe smiled warmly at Daniel, her undercurrent of disappointment forgotten with their mutual adoration of Brianna. “You should have seen her today, picking up blocks and putting them in a bucket. She wore a little frown of concentration, so serious and so cute.”
Brianna spied a ball behind the couch and hoisted herself onto her hands and knees, rocking back and forth as if getting ready to launch herself across the room.
Daniel grabbed the ball and placed it a foot away. Brianna edged forward. “Chloe, look, she’s crawling. That’s my girl!”
Chloe chuckled as Brianna reached for the ball and collapsed on her tummy. Noting the pride and pleasure on Daniel’s face, she thought about his choice of words—“that’s my girl.” “We could get a DNA test,” she said, broaching the delicate subject, which Daniel always seemed to want to avoid. “Then you’d know for sure if she was yours.”
“She already is mine.”
“I know, but…”
“I don’t need proof,” Daniel insisted. “I couldn’t love her any more if I’d given birth to her myself.”
Chloe smiled, relieved. “Okay.”
Daniel placed a hand on Chloe’s outstretched leg and began to massage her calf with his rough calloused fingers. For a moment Chloe just thought about how good it felt. But then she saw his dark eyes heat and she tensed and looked away, not wanting to encourage him. Daniel’s smile faded as he withdrew his hand. The warmth that had built between them over Brianna suddenly cooled.
Chloe felt sick at the hurt and anger she could see in Daniel’s eyes, but she couldn’t help her feelings. Before Brianna was born she’d responded to Daniel’s lovemaking as warmly as she could, considering how she still felt about Evan. Recovering from the birth had given her a brief reprieve, but now Daniel clearly wanted to resume their previous intimacy. At night in bed she sensed his need—as he moved restlessly in his sleep beside her and awoke each morning with an erection. She could see his frustration as he’d turn his naked body away from her and head to the bathroom for a long shower.
Chloe wanted to be a good wife to Daniel. Sex was part of that, but it was hard for her when she wasn’t in love with him. She liked being cuddled and she enjoyed the warmth and safety of being wrapped in his strong arms. Daniel had been her friend before he became her husband, and she appreciated it. But now it seemed they were losing even that.
Chloe got to her feet and went to the window. The rain still poured down steadily, shrouding them in a silver curtain. If only she could take Brianna for a walk—anything to get out of the house. But the weather wasn’t going to lift.
She watched the red mail truck slowly progress up the street, making frequent stops at the closely set houses. Outside their gate the driver jumped out in his raincoat and boots and leaned across a big puddle to push an envelope and flyers though the slot in the box.
Chloe caught a glimpse of blue—an airmail letter? Her heart leaped wildly. She’d told Evan not to write; there was no point now that she was married. But she didn’t know anyone else who would send her a letter from overseas. “Mail’s here.”
“I’ll go.” Daniel started to get up. “You stay here where it’s dry.”
“No!” she said, quickly adding, “I need to get out of the house. For some fresh air.”
Before he could protest, she threw on her raincoat and boots and splashed down the path to the front gate. Putting her body between the letterbox and the window, she leafed through the flyers for the pale blue envelope. Evan’s handwriting jumped out at her, as did the Sudanese stamp and Arabic script. Stifling the impulse to pirouette in her rubber boots, she bounced on her toes and grinned foolishly. Raindrops were soaking the thin paper, so she quickly folded the letter and shoved it into the front pocket of her jeans.
Hurrying back inside, Chloe was torn between wanting to run to the bathroom to read Evan’s message and knowing she had to go back to the living room and talk to Daniel as if nothing had happened.
“Any mail?” Daniel called.
Chloe stood in the doorway. “Just some flyers.”
“Let’s see.” As she walked across to hand him the flyers, his gaze dropped to her pocket.
She glanced down involuntarily. Damp splotches darkened the faded denim. Swiftly she picked up Brianna and started to move away.
“Nothing else?” Daniel’s voice was deceptively casual.
Her back to him, Chloe surprised herself when she was able to answer lightly, “No.”
It was the first time she’d ever lied to Daniel—a stupid lie since he’d already caught her out. The letter from Evan in her pocket made her feel as if she had a scarlet A emblazoned on her forehead. She knew she was wrong to cling to the memory of Evan but between Daniel and Brianna, she had no life of her own any more. Couldn’t she have this one reminder of her old life?
“Chloe?” Daniel said softly.
“I’m going to put Brianna down for her nap,” she said, ignoring his unspoken plea. “Then I’ll have a bath.”
She tucked in Brianna and left the little girl murmuring softly to herself, then went to run a bath. Lavender-scented bath oil mingled with the stream of gushing water, filling the room with fragrant steam. Her blood humming in her veins, Chloe locked the door and stripped off her clothes.
She slit open the letter with a nail file, then eased herself into the tub, taking care not to get water on the flimsy writing paper. Banging erupted in the kitchen, followed by Daniel’s muttered cursing. Chloe frowned at the closed door, worried the outburst would wake Brianna. She waited, tense and listening, until the noise