Desert Rogues Part 1. Susan Mallery
Читать онлайн книгу.
she ordered. “Don’t touch me.”
Khalil stepped back in surprise. “What’s wrong?” He stared at her, his dark eyes searching her face. “This is more than wedding nerves, isn’t it? Something has happened.”
“How perceptive,” she said sarcastically. “What was your first clue?”
He frowned. “What is it, Dora? Why are you acting like this? It’s not in your nature to be a petty female. You are usually so reasonable. Tell me?”
She stared at him, at this man to whom she had been bound in separate ceremonies nearly half a world apart. “You don’t know me at all,” she said softly. “But that’s only fair, because I don’t know you, either.”
He gestured impatiently. In his traditional robes, he looked very much the part of the prince of a desert kingdom. A prince who would never have willingly chosen her for his wife.
“You haven’t answered the question,” he said. “What’s wrong?”
“Amber came to see me,” she told him. “Today, just before the ceremony.”
His expression didn’t change at all. She might as well have told him about the weather for all he seemed to care. “She is not to be trusted,” he said. “Ignore everything she said.”
“It’s not that easy. Don’t you want to know what she said to me?”
“Not really.”
She wanted to laugh, but it hurt too much. Pressure tightened in her throat. “I wish I could forget, but I can’t. The words are burned into my brain.”
She drew in a deep breath. “Khalil, she said that you had a fight with her while you were in New York. She said that was the reason you came to—” She paused. “The reason you were intimate with me was to get back at her. That it was never about me at all.”
As she spoke she stared at him, desperately hoping for a sign that it was all false. She wanted him to get angry and frustrated, to pull her close and say that Amber had the heart of a worm and that of course he loved her, Dora. She wanted reassurance and kind words and patience, and then she wanted him to make gentle love to her.
Instead Khalil stalked to the doorway and clutched the thick fabric. “I see.”
It was not what she wanted to hear. The pressure in her chest increased, and she was suddenly cold. If she’d eaten anything that day she would have thrown up, but mercifully her stomach was empty.
The silence grew around them. She found herself filling the space with ugly words.
“She said that you were shocked to find out I was a virgin. Shocked and h-horrified.” She could feel the tears burning in her eyes, and she blinked them back. “She said you proposed out of a sense of duty and that neither of you expected me to say yes.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “She said you would divorce me so you could marry her.”
“Enough!” he growled. “She tells you lies. All lies. We will not speak of this again.”
She didn’t remember ever being this cold. The tears fell, and there was nothing she could do to stop them.
“That’s not good enough,” she told him. “I want to know the truth.”
“Why?” he asked as he turned to look at her. Anger sharpened his features. “What will it change? You are my wife, and you will stay my wife.”
She gave a strangled sound and sank onto one of the thick cushions. Amber had been right about everything. What had she done? “She said you were with her. All these past nights when I was in the harem, she said you stole into her father’s house and took her. That was why you didn’t come to me.”
Khalil stalked toward her, then stopped and loomed above her. “I didn’t come to you because I respect my father and grandmother’s wishes. The sanctuary of the harem is absolute. No man may enter. I have lived in the palace all my life, and I have not once stepped foot behind that golden door.”
He placed his hands on his hips and glared. “I thought you were different. I thought you could be logical about all of this, but I see that’s impossible.”
Dora barely heard his words. Too many lies woven through too little truth. She pressed her hands to her face and tried to stop the flow of tears. She had to go. She had to get back to…to…to where? To what? She had no life anymore. Everything she’d known was gone.
“I just want to know,” she whispered.
Khalil sighed. “All right. I’ll tell you the truth.” He bent down and cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “All of it. Then we’ll have it out in the open and be able to put it behind us. We’ll start our marriage with a clean slate and go on from there.”
He released her face and began to pace in the tent. His long strides ate up the distance quickly, and he was forced to turn after a mere five steps.
Dora brushed away her tears and ignored the steady dampness that replaced them. She told herself this was a good thing—that once she knew how bad it was, they could talk about fixing the problems. But the coldness only increased, and her heart braced itself for even more pain.
“Amber and I had been engaged from the time we were children. It was the wish of both our fathers.” He paused as if searching for the right words. “We did fight in New York, but only because I told her I didn’t want to marry her.”
She raised her head. “What?”
“I didn’t want to marry her. Amber is not…” He hesitated. “She would not be a good wife or mother. I didn’t know how to break the engagement in such a way as to avoid scandal. Then I heard you on the phone with Gerald, and I thought you might be a good solution to my dilemma. You are intelligent and even-tempered. I thought you could learn the duties and be a good mother. You were also a virgin.” He paused. “I needed a wife, and you were a likely candidate.”
She’d heard too much, she thought, wishing she could transport herself to another place, or even another time. How could she continue to breathe through the gaping hole in her chest? How could her heart continue to beat, her blood flow? Why hadn’t the pain killed her yet?
And then she knew the awful truth—that no matter how much it hurt, she would never die from the agony. She was destined to survive, even though she didn’t want to. She was going to keep on living and suffering and going through the motions because there was no mercy, no escape, no hope.
“So it was all lies,” she said dully. “All of it. When you told me that you wanted me, that you’d wanted me from the beginning.” It was hard for her to talk, nearly impossible for her to go on, but she forced herself to continue. She had to speak the truth. Once she faced it, she could begin the incredibly slow process of putting the pieces back together again…if that were even possible.
“You lied about the passion, you lied when you told me it would be impossible to leave me behind in New York. You made me feel special and important, and it was all a lie.”
Life had become a cruel joke—nearly as cruel as her new husband.
Khalil stopped in front of her. “The past is finished, and there’s no reason to dwell on it. Yes, I stretched the truth to make you feel better. Until the night I heard you on the phone with Gerald, I never thought of you as anything but efficient. I didn’t have any particular regard for you at the time, but you’re my wife, now. I believe we have a chance to make this union successful.”
“Successful? Are you insane?” she asked, pushing herself to her feet.
“Not at all. I made vows to you, and I fully intend to honor them.”
“But nothing is real,” she protested. “You lied about everything.”
“You’re making too much of this.”
“And you’re making too