A Man of Distinction. Sarah M. Anderson
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capable of saying. A bag of Skittles and a pink elephant were just enough to bring that night rushing back to her. She remembered being scared and excited and so in love with him.
The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. A decade had passed since that night, and there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t give to go get lost down that dirt road with him again.
A whump came from the bedroom. Oh, no. Oh, hell. That was the sound of Bear flopping out of bed. As far as Tanya could tell, Nick didn’t know about the boy. It was up to her to keep it that way.
“What was that?” Nick asked, pulling away from her.
“Nothing.” Tanya spun and threw her arms around his neck, holding him in place. “Let me thank you for the present.” Then, against her every better idea, she kissed him.
It wasn’t supposed to be the kind of kiss that took all of her resolve and smashed it to bits. She was just trying to distract him from the sound of Bear jiggling the doorknob. But it didn’t work that way. Nick folded her back into his arms and just like that, the distance between them was gone and all Tanya could think was that Nick had come back for her. When he held her tighter, heat rushed down her back and pooled lower.
Oh, she needed him, in a primeval, instinctive way that had nothing to do with reason or logic and everything to do with the thrill of Nick’s tongue sweeping into her mouth. God, how she’d missed this feeling of being wanted and needed—of being loved. No one had ever loved her like Nick had, and she knew no one ever would. Was it wrong to want this? Was it really wrong to want him?
As the kiss deepened, she almost forgot why she’d kissed him in the first place. Twenty-two long, sexless months pushed her deeper and deeper into his arms until she shook. But then another thump cut through the desire—the sound of Bear banging his tiny fist against the door because he couldn’t work the knob. Nick jerked his head away. “Is there someone else here?” He let go of her and headed toward the bedroom door.
“No—no one else.” Tanya threw herself in Nick’s path. “Just me.” She plastered what she hoped was a sexy smile on her face in an attempt to hide her panic. “I, uh, wish I had a truck. We could go for another ride somewhere.” Anywhere Bear wasn’t.
Nick’s eyes zeroed in on her as Bear took up a steady pounding rhythm. He took another step forward, forcing Tanya to take another step back. “You’re not alone? Are you living with someone?”
The way he said it, like she’d been cheating on some poor, imaginary guy by kissing Nick, was enough to remind Tanya of all the reasons why she shouldn’t fall back in love with Nick under any circumstances, ever again. He wasn’t here because he loved her or trusted her. He was here because she was convenient. “No.”
Bear was now banging on the door with both fists. Tanya could tell because by now, Nick had her pinned against the door. “You’re lying to me.”
“What, that noise? It’s, uh, nothing.” She scrambled to think of something believable. “A dog. I have a dog. With a big tail. Knocks into stuff all the time. What can you do?” She tried to laugh as she put her hands on Nick’s shoulders. “He, uh, jumps. And sheds. We should leave him alone. Don’t want him to mess up your nice pants after all.”
She tried to push him back, and he let her. Then, at the last second, he pivoted, letting her momentum carry her right past him. He caught her arm to keep her from falling over at the same time he turned the knob and pulled open the bedroom door.
Bear stood there, silent tears running a race down his fat cheeks. He took one look at the strange man who held on to his mommy, opened his mouth to scream and didn’t make a sound.
He never did.
Tanya’s heart sank. The jig was up. It was time to face the music. “Dang it, Nick, you scared him.” Tanya jerked out of Nick’s grasp and scooped up her little boy. “Hush, sweetie.” Which was a pointless thing to say, but she said it anyway.
She held Bear and rubbed his back until he stopped flinging his arms around. His head rested on her shoulder and she could tell he was sucking his thumb. She wasn’t sure if he’d gone back to sleep or not until he reached up and laced his chubby fingers into the end of her braid. He was awake. Scooting around Nick, she went to the fridge and got him a sippy cup of water.
While Bear drank, Tanya watched Nick, who was staring at the boy. His mouth hung open as his eyes took it all in. One thing was clear—he hadn’t known she’d had a baby. He didn’t know she’d had his baby.
Maybe she could still keep it that way?
That was just the desperation talking. Now that Nick knew, he wouldn’t rest until he knew everything. How long would it be before he took Bear away from her? How long would it be until he left her all alone again?
While this irrational fear—at least, fear she hoped was irrational—clogged up her throat, she struggled to keep her face calm and blank. Do not panic, she tried to tell herself. Don’t give it away. “Well?” Because he was going to say something, sooner or later. And she didn’t think she could wait on later anymore. She just wanted to get this over with.
“You have a baby?” Nick’s voice wobbled.
Tanya felt a small thrill of victory that she’d managed to outsmart the smartest man in the tribe—for a little while anyway. “Yes.”
Nick shook his head, like he couldn’t trust his eyes. “He’s not mine, is he?”
The question was a punch to the gut. She couldn’t have imagined a lower insult coming out of his mouth. She’d loved Nick Longhair with every bit of her heart and soul since she was in sixth grade and he’d been a freshman in high school. She’d done everything he’d ever asked of her—even going into debt to go to college so he wouldn’t be ashamed of her. She’d planned on spending the rest of her life with him. Never once had she strayed—and this was how he repaid her devotion. By leaving her all alone and then assuming she’d been stepping out on him.
The whole deep-breathing thing wasn’t working so good. “He’s mine. That’s all you need to know.”
That came out louder than she meant it to, because Bear jerked and started thrashing. Nick fell back a step, like he was afraid of the baby. Men, she thought with a snort.
Nick regained his composure. “What’s wrong with him?”
“Did you come here just to insult my honor and mock my son? Because if that’s the only reason you’re here, you can just take your expensive clothes and your short hair anywhere else but here.” Bear jerked in her arms and began rolling his head against her shoulder. He didn’t like it when she yelled.
Nick looked at her for a nerve-racking second before he stood. Then he was closing the distance between them. He stopped just short of touching her or Bear. “That’s not why I’m here.”
“Then why are you? Why did you come back?” God, he was driving her mad. He’d always driven her past the point of rational. Why would she have expected that to change?
“Hi, guy. I’m Nick.” He reached over and took one of Bear’s small hands in his. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Bear looked at this strange man for a moment longer before he buried his face back in Tanya’s neck.
“What’s his name?”
“Edward, but everyone calls him Bear.”
“Bear.” He nodded in approval as he placed his hand on the top of Bear’s head and patted. “That’s a good, strong name. It’s nice to meet you, Bear.”
Tanya refused to be pleased that he liked it. She was done pleasing Nick. But she didn’t know what to say next that wouldn’t come out as an accusation or, worse, an insult, so she kept her mouth shut.
A look of peace came over Nick’s face, erasing the hard, lawyerly edge. In that instant, he was the man Tanya