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The teething biscuit wasn’t enough?” He picked the boy up. The feel of the baby weight in his arms was a little better. “Scratch that. He was wearing most of it.”
“You’re very observant.”
He watched Kate prepare a baby bottle she took from the freezer, which was probably the pumped breast milk she’d told him about. When it was ready, she settled him on the couch with J.T. in his arms.
“I think you can figure it out from here,” she said, hovering close by.
He put the bottle up to the small mouth and the kid latched on. At least one of them knew what to do. And that’s when it hit him that he was feeding his child for the first time. This was a photo moment of monumental proportions. This was huge.
The baby must have felt some of these vibes because he started squirming.
“It’s okay, buddy. Easy does it,” he said softly.
That seemed to calm him because he started sucking again. After draining the bottle, he let out a big burp.
He grinned at Kate. “I’m so proud.”
“You’re such a guy,” she said, rolling her eyes.
When J.T. heaved a satisfied sigh, Joe wondered what to do now. Then the baby closed his eyes and the sight made Joe’s chest grow tight. A second later something expanded and moved through him, filling up some of the empty places in his soul.
He’d done Marine Corps boot camp, flown helicopters in Afghanistan until his eyes felt as though all the desert sand was in them. But he’d never felt as tired as he did now. Being a father was hard work—in the most awesome possible way. What if he had never received the letter?
Thinking about the fact that Kate was pregnant with his son had kept him going in his darkest hours. And suddenly he wondered how she’d found out where to send the letter.
“Do you want me to put him in his crib?” she asked.
“No. I like holding him.” Understatement of the century. “Can I ask you something?”
She sat on the couch beside him. “Sure.”
“When I was deployed overseas—” He met her gaze. “—how did you get my address?”
“From your brother.”
Preston Morgan. The man who’d betrayed him and broken up his marriage. That was freaking perfect. Unfortunately their dad’s death had left them partners in Southwestern Helicopters. Because of that his attorney brother needed to know how to reach him. It should have been obvious that Kate had gone to him for the information. He just hadn’t wanted to think about what that meant.
“What’s wrong?” Kate asked, frowning at him.
The easy answer was that he didn’t want his bastard of a brother anywhere near Kate. The hard question was why it mattered so much that the thought of it enraged him.
“It’s not important.”
“No? Then why do you look like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you want to choke someone. I know your brother is here in Las Vegas so I went to see him. He was extremely kind and very helpful.”
That wasn’t a big surprise. Kate was an incredibly beautiful woman, not unlike his ex-wife. Preston had hit on her without regard for legal or family ties. The thought of Kate in a compromising situation like that tightened the knot in his gut. “I’ll just bet he was ready to lend a hand.”
She didn’t look happy. “He said if I needed anything while you were gone to call. And to be sure and let him know when he was an uncle.”
“Did you?”
“No.” Her full lips pulled into a straight line for a moment. “When I didn’t hear from you, I thought it best not to.”
Well, thank goodness for that. The thought of his brother anywhere near her bent his rotors big time. “Smart move.”
“Obviously you disapprove of what I did.” Her eyes narrowed. “It would be helpful to have more information, Joe. I don’t know what’s going on between you—”
“Nothing.” Not any more. Not ever again. He’d looked up to his big brother once, wanted to be like him. Their father had thought Preston was perfect and Joe was the screwup. Not so much.
“Where else was I supposed to go? Would it be better if I hadn’t written to you at all?”
“No.” The word was sharp and his voice louder than he’d intended.
J.T. began to squirm and whimper as his tiny fists started waving. Then he let out a wail. Joe wasn’t sure what he’d done, but it wasn’t good.
Kate stood and held out her arms. “I’ll take him.”
He let her because she knew what to do and he didn’t want to make things worse. She walked down the hall, murmuring soothing sweet nothings and the silence proved it had worked.
Joe restlessly paced the living room because he was angry as hell. At Kate, but mostly at himself. He’d thought the past no longer affected him. He was wrong. And being wrong had affected his son.
It was obvious that Kate was confused and wanted to know what was up between him and his brother, but talking about it was the last thing he wanted. About that, and especially about what happened to him in Afghanistan. As long as there was breath left in his body, he would move heaven and earth not to let any of his darkness upset his son again. And Kate. He couldn’t stand the thought of anything bad touching her.
Kate wondered about Joe’s sudden shift in mood. One minute he was gentle and soft, the next tense, angry, and the baby had felt something—his aggression, hostility. That definitely defined the man after she’d said his brother had given her the address. What was up with that?
While the baby slept, she and Joe sat at the kitchen table munching on doughnuts and bagels and drinking the coffee that had gone cold. She’d nuked it.
Needing something to take the edge off what felt far too intimate, she had a pencil and paper and was jotting down things to get at the store. Every time she looked up, he was watching her.
“What?” she asked.
He nodded at her growing list. “You’re going to need a U-Haul.”
“Sometimes it feels that way. Especially when I’m toting J.T. along. I don’t think I truly appreciated shopping by myself until becoming a mother.”
“I could help.”
“I wasn’t complaining,” she said quickly.
“That never occurred to me. After going through basic training this morning, I have a better understanding. Shopping with the little guy must be similar to the precision and coordination of inserting a combat team into a hot zone.”
She laughed. “Sometimes it feels that way.”
“So let me help. I could go for you.”
“Thanks, but no. I’ve seen men in the store. Without a cell phone they’re lost. It would take twice as long.”
“Then I could stay with J.T.—”
“No.” When his eyes narrowed, she wanted to call the word back. Or at least soften her tone. “What if he wakes up?”
“I’ll handle it. Crying is actually good for his lungs, remember?”
And how she wanted those words back. “I’m more worried about you.”
“I wouldn’t hurt him.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Not really. But his sudden change of mood before had taken her aback. “The crying can frazzle you even