Jesse Hawk: Brave Father. Sheri WhiteFeather
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to quiver. “What did you say to him?”
“Nothing.” Pride had kept him silent, masking the rage. Jesse knew Raymond Boyd had been trying to destroy his relationship with Tricia since it started, but despite her father’s wishes, she had continued to date him. That thought gave him hope. After all, it was modern-day Oklahoma, and they were both adults—strong-willed eighteen-year-olds. A poor Indian boy loving a rich white girl was no longer a crime. “Don’t worry, I’m going to fight back.”
Immediately her eyes filled with tears. “How? There’s nothing you can do that will change any of this.”
Jesse took a deep breath. He could go to a different college, one Raymond Boyd didn’t have an affiliation with. It wouldn’t be easy, but with Tricia by his side, he could accomplish anything. She was part of his strength, his soul.
“I want you to move in with me, Tricia.”
The tears collecting in her eyes began to fall. “If I do that, how will you be able to go to college? You know my father meant what he said. He’ll have your scholarship taken away.”
Jesse’s scholarship was from Winston College of Veterinary Medicine, a privately funded institution providing an education in conventional veterinary medicine as well as extended studies in holistic remedies, acupuncture and homeopathy. In spite of Jesse’s reading difficulties, his advanced knowledge of herbal healing had earned him the rare scholarship. But now, Raymond Boyd had the power to take it away.
As it turned out, Tricia’s father and George Winston, the founder of the college, were fraternity brothers. So if Jesse didn’t end his relationship with Tricia, he’d lose his scholarship. Fraternity blood, as Raymond had put it, was thicker than water.
Jesse dried Tricia’s tears, then took her in his arms, the fragrance of her hair, silk of her skin, creating an ache. Being that much in love scared the hell out of him, as did the fear of living without her.
“I know that if you move in with me, I won’t be able to go to Winston,” he said, explaining his frantic plan. “But I’ll find another school that will accept me. And I’ll apply for financial aid. There must be government grants available.”
“Oh, Jesse.” She blinked back another stream of tears. “You know how important the holistic care program is to the dean at Winston. So far, it’s the only veterinary school in the nation that offers extended studies in alternative medicine. It’s where you’re meant to go.”
Deep down he knew what she said was true. The ancient practice of herbal healing had been passed on to him by Tall Bear, a Creek medicine man, and it was Tall Bear who had introduced Jesse to the dean at Winston, offering a trade. Jesse would assist the director of the holistic care program in exchange for an education in conventional veterinary medicine. The dean had agreed to the unusual scholarship proposal, but if George Winston, the man who held the purse strings, suddenly changed his mind about funding it, the deal would crumble.
Jesse trapped her gaze. “I don’t want to lose you, Tricia.” Healing animals was his destiny. But so was Tricia. Choosing between them wasn’t possible. He was willing to make sacrifices to have them both, work himself to the bone if he had to. And he knew Tall Bear would understand. The wise old medicine man would tell him to follow his heart. What Raymond Boyd proposed to do might not be illegal, but it was unethical. Morally wrong.
Jesse took Tricia’s hand and squeezed it. “Somehow I’ll find a way to make this right. Maybe the dean at Winston will help. Maybe he’ll recommend me to another school.” Jesse swallowed back his nervousness, his fear. “Please, Tricia, move in with me.”
“Oh, God. I can’t. Not now.” She paused, inhaled a deep breath. “First of all, I would never expect you to prolong your education for me. You deserve that scholarship. Think about it, Jesse. We can be together after you finish college. You can come back for me.” She closed her eyes, then opened them, blinking away her tears once again. “If we moved in together now, we’d never make it financially. We’d never earn enough money to survive, let alone get you through college.”
Jesse pulled away. Money. The word alone clenched his gut. Once, Tricia had convinced him there was no dishonor in being born poor, orphaned or learning disabled. But suddenly the shame, the humiliation of being poor ripped through him like a knife, slicing his heart in two.
When Tricia lifted her hand to his cheek, her gentle touch made his skin burn—a sickening combination of love, hate, confusion and pain. She had just chosen her father’s money over him. She wasn’t willing to live in a tiny apartment or ride around town in a battered pickup. She wanted the luxury her father could provide, the fancy car and designer clothes.
“Come back after you finish college,” she said, skimming her fingers over his jaw. “Come back for me, Jesse. Prove to Daddy that—”
“Damn it, Tricia,” he interrupted, still hurting from her touch. “You should hate your father for this, but instead you expect me to prove myself to him.”
She dropped her hand. “Daddy’s wrong, but I could never hate him. He’s raised me all by himself…and I…” She glanced away and clutched her stomach. “Please try to understand.”
He did understand. Tricia didn’t love him the way he loved her. They had no future. All he’d be to her in a few years was the guy who had taught her how to please other men. Rich men Daddy wouldn’t scorn. Fine, he thought. He’d take advantage of that scholarship, go on with his life and leave Tricia to her daddy’s money.
“You’ll come back, won’t you, Jesse?”
“Damn right, I will,” he told her, deciding then and there that he’d return to Marlow County someday, but not for the girl who had chosen her wealthy father over him. Jesse Hawk would come back to find his roots, make his home in the town where his parents had lived and died.
And that’s what he’d done. Of course now, twelve years later, Tricia was here stirring all those painful memories.
Jesse sighed. He knew he should be a proper host and invite her into his home, but he wouldn’t dare. He couldn’t bear to see her among his belongings and then watch her leave. His house would seem far too empty afterward, and damn it, he’d suffered through enough loneliness.
All because of Tricia. And her father.
“Look,” he said, “I know you didn’t stop by to talk about the past, but there’s something I need to say.”
When he paused, she gazed up at him, her hair catching a soft breeze.
He focused on his next words, hating that she looked so beautiful. So ladylike. “I wasn’t really in love all those years ago, and neither were you. I mean, we were only kids. Teenagers experimenting.”
Her skin, that flawless complexion, paled a little, and Jesse felt a pang of regret from his perverse need for revenge. But he’d be damned if he’d ever admit that he had pined for her, missed her so badly he’d actually unmanned himself with tears.
“So,” he said, finishing his speech, “I never should have asked you to live with me. What we had wasn’t anything more than puppy love. A strong infatuation. It never would have worked.”
“I’m well aware of that,” she responded, her voice tight.
“That’s just my point. I don’t blame you for not moving in with me.” And he didn’t. Not now that he was older and wiser. The blame was in her loyalty to Raymond Boyd, in her expecting Jesse to come back to town and grovel at her old man’s feet—worship the real estate tycoon as though he were some powerful pagan god. It still stung that Tricia had valued her daddy’s money over Jesse’s love. If she had asked him to come back to sweep her off her feet and tell Raymond Boyd to go to hell, Jesse would have been there with bells on. War paint and feathers, too.
“I should go.” She placed the dog gently on its feet, stood and brushed off her skirt.
Jesse remained seated a moment longer, looking up at