Paternal Instincts. Elizabeth August
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cards. “But you read them for yourself. What do they tell you?”
“They warn me if my path is following a dangerous course and they give me signposts that will guide me in the right direction.”
Eric’s gaze had locked onto one of the turned-up cards. “What does that one represent?”
She considered lying, but instinct warned her against it. She was certain he would know. “You.”
The realization of why he was there hit him full force. “You allowed me to stay because it was in the cards that I should?”
She frowned at the array on the table. “Somehow you’re to be involved in my getting Jamie back.”
Eric’s skepticism grew stronger. Clearly she was using the cards as a way of keeping her hopes up. “And which card represents him?”
“This one.” Roxy tenderly touched a card to her right. Fear rippled through her. “Lately the cards warn of a stronger sadness and danger surrounding him. I have to get him back soon.”
“You were going to turn another card over,” Eric said, recalling how she’d quickly dropped the last card back on its face when he’d made his presence known.
“It was one of no consequence.”
Before she could stop him, he flipped the card over. The image was that of an unclothed man and woman. Beneath was written The Lovers. “Us?” he asked, finding himself wondering what her lips would taste like.
“The cards merely suggest routes we can take. They don’t determine our destinies,” she said in clipped tones, and began to gather the deck together.
The ice in her voice told him that she fully intended to ignore the implications of the last card. For a moment he experienced a rush of disappointment. In the next instant he was mocking himself. He didn’t need any complications in his life at the moment and Roxy Dugan would definitely be a complication.
“Good night,” Roxy said firmly as she rose and reached for the switch on the lamp.
This time he did take his cue, reminding himself to head into the kitchen for the drink of water he’d claimed he wanted. As he filled the glass then took a drink, he marveled at the many-faceted Ms. Dugan.
He was aware that some very powerful people believed in the various arts of prophecy but he’d thought she had a more practical nature. A suspicion he didn’t like began to nag at him.
Lying in her bed, Roxy couldn’t get Eric’s image out of her mind. With it came the memory of The Lovers card. “Thoughts like that are only going to lead to disappointment and embarrassment,” she grumbled at herself. She’d thought she’d accepted the fact that she would have to live out the rest of her life without male companionship. Apparently her mind had, but her body hadn’t. “Well, get used to it,” she growled, looking down at herself. “Nobody wants something as mangled and useless as you.”
Her jaw forming a hard line, she ordered herself to sleep.
The next morning Eric was sitting at the kitchen table drinking his second cup of coffee when Roxy entered. He’d woken early and already eaten. As she began to scramble her eggs, he studied her. Dressed in slacks and a plain white blouse with her hair pulled back and tightly braided, she moved with rigid efficiency. There was no evidence in her appearance or her manner reminiscent of the Gypsy-like creature he’d glimpsed last night. A part of him was disappointed.
Abruptly she turned to him. “I wish you’d quit staring at me. Just because I read Tarot cards doesn’t mean I’m a kook.” She grimaced self-consciously. “Eccentric maybe, but not daft or crazy.”
“To be honest, I’m not certain what you are,” he said bluntly. “We’ve barely spoken since my first day here.”
“I’ll admit, I’m a private person.” The way he continued to study her as if she had an eye in the middle of her forehead caused a rush of fear. What if he decided to leave? The cards seemed insistent that his presence was necessary for her to get Jamie back. “I’ve had a few hard knocks in my life. They’ve made me very cautious about people.”
“I don’t like being used.” Eric stated openly the suspicion that had been nagging at him ever since last night. “If you’ve involved me in some plan or scheme, you’d better tell me about it now.”
She met his gaze levelly. “There is no scheme or plan. I don’t even know why your presence here should matter. In fact, it’s started causing gossip.”
Eric raised an eyebrow questioningly.
“I’ve told everyone that you’re merely helping me repair the house, but I’ve noticed a few skewed glances,” she elaborated. “The truth is, I’ve considered asking you to leave. I don’t want my reputation questioned. That could cause trouble. But in the past I’ve ignored the cards and lived to regret it.”
Her frustration obviously was genuine. The depth of her belief in the cards was again also evident. Eric didn’t like encouraging that, but he hated seeing her so upset. “Maybe my helping you get this place in shape is why I’m here. They say timing is everything. It could be that you were running out of time for the repairs.”
Roxy shrugged. “Maybe.” Her chin trembled. “Or maybe I’m looking for things in the cards that aren’t there.”
At least she wasn’t totally impractical where the cards were concerned, he thought with relief. But, although she’d opened the door for him to voice his own skepticism, the anguish in her eyes made him want to comfort her. “I’m not convinced anyone can read the future, but I do believe in instincts,” he said. “With me, it’s a prickling sensation on the back of the neck that warns me when I’m headed for trouble. What do your instincts tell you?”
They tell me that having you here could cause me a great deal of frustration and grief, her inner voice responded, admitting that in spite of the harsh talk she’d had with herself the night before, she continued to be attracted to him. A part of her wanted desperately to believe that she’d misread the cards and it was safe to send him on his way. But she knew that part was allowing itself to be guided by fear. After a moment’s hesitation, she said aloud, “They tell me to believe in the cards.”
He wasn’t certain he’d done her a favor by reestablishing her belief in the Tarot, but the relief he saw in her eyes brought pleasure and he smiled crookedly. “Then that’s what I’d suggest you do,” he heard himself saying.
His smile was infectious and she started to smile back. Careful, her inner voice warned. He’s getting very close to breaking down the wall of protection you’ve built. Her jaw tensed, stopping the smile, and she turned back to the stove.
Eric frowned at her back. He could almost see the icy barrier she was determined to keep between them, and he experienced a rush of frustration. You don’t really want to get involved with a woman who lets a deck of cards guide her life, do you? he chided himself. The frustration lessened and he rose. “I’ve got a lot of work to do,” he said, carrying his cup to the sink and rinsing it out. “Have a good day,” he added, and left.
Alone in the kitchen, Roxy looked down at her overly cooked eggs. “How do nuns do it?” she muttered. Maybe she’d stop in at the video store and get a tape on yoga or meditation or maybe one of each. “Or I could just picture the expression of horror on his face that will appear if he ever sees me disrobed.” This thought brought a cold chill and her barrier once again grew strong.
A few minutes later Eric watched from the ladder as Roxy drove away. He didn’t understand why the urge to help her was actually growing stronger. She wouldn’t even allow him to be a friend. He concluded that Maude and the boy Jamie were behind his increasing desire to help. The boy’s story reminded him of his own youth. As for Maude, she’d liked Roxy enough to leave her this place. That meant Maude would have wanted him to help, and he owed Maude.