2

      THE WATER WAS SO COLD and black. Even with her eyes open, she couldn’t see her hand in front of her face. Stay awake, stay awake. A voice inside her head kept repeating the refrain. Or was it Tommy? Was he saying the words?

      Her nails clawed at the fitting on the hull of the boat as it bobbed in the water. Stay with the boat. Don’t try to swim for shore. Though she wore a life jacket, Tenley knew that sooner or later her body temperature would drop so low it wouldn’t matter. She wouldn’t drown. She’d just quietly go to sleep and drift out into the lake.

      “Tommy!” She called his name and then felt his hand on hers. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She grasped at his fingers, but they weren’t there. He wasn’t there. He’d decided to swim for it, ordering her to stay with the boat. “I’ll be back for you,” he called. “I promise.”

      How long had it been? Minutes? Hours? Tenley couldn’t remember. Why was she so confused? She called his name again. And then again. Over and over until her voice was weak and her throat raw.

      The sound came out of nowhere, a low rumble, like the engine of a boat. It was Tommy. He’d come, just as he’d promised. But as the roar came closer, Tenley realized it wasn’t a boat at all but a huge wave, so high that it blocked out the moon and the stars in the sky. She held her breath, waiting for it to crash down on top of her. Where had it come from?

      A ton of water enveloped her, driving her deep beneath the surface. The breath burned in her lungs and she struggled to reach the cold night air. Maybe it was better to let go, to stop fighting. Was that what Tommy had done? Was he safe at home, or had the black wave taken him as well? No, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. She—

      Tenley awoke with a start, sitting upright in her bed, gasping for breath. For a moment, she wasn’t sure where she was. She rubbed her arms, only to find them warm and clad in the soft fabric of her T-shirt. She was safe. But where was Tommy? Why wasn’t he—

      A sick feeling settled in her stomach as she realized, yet again, that Tommy was gone. There were times when she had such pleasant dreams about their childhood. They’d been the best of friends, twins, so much alike. As the only children of a poet and an artist, they’d grown up without boundaries, encouraged to discover all that nature had to offer.

      Back then, they’d lived on the waterfront, in the apartment above her grandfather’s studio. The sailboat had been a present from her grandfather for their thirteenth birthday and every summer, she and Tommy had skimmed across the harbor, the wind filling the small sail and the sun shining down on them both.

      But as they got older, they became much more daring. Their adventures had an edge of danger to them. Diving from the cliffs above the water. Wandering into the woods late at night. Sailing beyond the quiet confines of the harbor to the small islands just offshore.

      They’d both known how quickly the weather could shift in the bay and how dangerous it was to be in a small boat when the waves kicked up. But they both loved pushing their limits, daring each other to try something even more outrageous.

      A shiver skittered through her body and Tenley pulled the quilt up over her arms. It had been her idea to sail out to the island and spend the night. Even though the wind had been blowing directly into shore and they’d gotten a late start, they’d tacked out, the small Sunfish skimming over the bay at a sharp angle.

      But sailing against the wind had taken longer than she’d anticipated and by the time they’d reached open water, it was nearly dark. Tommy had insisted that they head back toward the lights, but Tenley had been adamant, daring him to go on. A few minutes later, a gust of wind knocked the boat over.

      It was usually easy to right the boat in the calm waters of the harbor, but in the bay the currents worked against them, exhausting them both. Tenley could see the outline of the island and suggested they swim for it. But in the dark, it had been impossible to judge how far it was. In the end, Tommy had left to get help.

      They’d found her clinging to the boat, four hours later. They’d found his body the next morning, washed up on a rocky beach north of town. Tenley shook her head, trying to rid herself of the memories. It had been nearly a month since she’d last dreamt of him. In many ways, she’d longed for the nights when the dreams wouldn’t haunt her. But sometimes, the dreams were good. They were happy and she could be with her brother again.

      She threw the covers off her body and stood up beside the bed, stretching her arms over her head. The room was chilly, the winter wind finding its way inside through all the tiny cracks and crevices in the old cabin. Outside, the storm still raged.

      Tenley rubbed her eyes, then wandered out of the bedroom toward the kitchen. She rarely slept more than four or five hours at night. For a long time, she’d been afraid to sleep, afraid of the nightmares. But she’d learned to cope, taking the good dreams with the bad.

      The dogs were curled up in front of Alex’s door and they looked up as she passed. Tenley stirred the embers of the fire and tossed another log onto the grate. As she watched the flames lick at the dry birch bark, her mind wandered back to the kiss she’d shared with Alex in the kitchen.

      She’d been tempted to let it go on, to see how far he’d take it. The attraction between them was undeniable. But she wasn’t sure she wanted to act upon it. She preferred uncomplicated sex and Tenley sensed that sex with Alex might be like opening a Pandora’s box of pleasure.

      Restless, she got up and began to pace the perimeter of the room. She had no idea what time it was. Tenley had given up clocks long ago, preferring to let her body decide when it was time to sleep and when it was time to wake up. Besides, since Tommy’s death, she’d never slept through an entire night so what was the point of a schedule?

      Tenley grabbed a throw from the back of the leather sofa and wrapped it around her, then slowly walked down the hall to the guest-room door. Dog and Pup were still asleep on the floor, pulling guard duty, defending her safety. Perhaps the dogs knew better than she did about the dangers that lay beyond the door.

      “Up,” she whispered, snapping her fingers softly. They both rose, stretched, then trotted off to her bedroom.