The Cowboy's Baby Blessing. Deb Kastner
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order. “Now take the baby in your arms.”
Seth swallowed hard but did as Rachel bid, tucking a once-again-sleeping Caden against his shoulder. The boy was all toddler, with chubby cheeks and with thick arms and legs, and yet he was so light he seemed to curve right into Seth as he shifted his weight side to side in a rocking motion. The gentle rhythm of the child’s breath against his neck soothed Seth as much as the rocking did Caden.
“What are you feeling?” Rachel asked gently.
Seth closed his eyes and breathed in Caden’s little-boy scent.
How did he feel?
Nervous. Overwhelmed. Panicked. Devastated. And yet there was something more, something indefinable, hovering just below the surface.
He was responsible for this little human being. And even though it meant his entire life had just been turned upside down and backward, there was something somehow...right...about holding Caden in his arms. He couldn’t name the emotions, but they were there, cresting in his chest.
“See?” Rachel murmured, even though Seth hadn’t answered her question aloud. “Pretty special, isn’t it?”
“Mmm,” Seth agreed softly, afraid to put his emotions into words.
“I have a mobile playpen that you can use until you have time to outfit yourself better. Caden will be able to eat finger food and finely cut meats, fruits and vegetables. I don’t even have to ask if you’re a healthy eater, so I imagine you’ll have everything you need already stocked in your refrigerator. Do you know how to change a diaper?”
“Caden is in those pull-up ones. My mom showed me how to work them. Although those dirty diapers are going to take some getting used to.” He wrinkled his nose at the thought.
“Since you’ve got the Hollister ranch to worry about, you’re probably going to need someone to watch him during the day. Or is your family on that?”
“That’s actually why I originally came over. It wasn’t to break down on you, I promise.”
She laid a reassuring hand on his arm. “I know. It just so happens that I have an opening in my day care, so you can bring Caden over in the morning while you take care of whatever needs doing at the ranch. No charge for the first week while you get on your feet and find the lay of the land. No pun intended.”
Her joke drew a slight smile from him. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered. Honestly, things are going to work out. You may not be able to see it now, but God’s got it all in His capable hands. Start walking the path, step-by-step, even if you can’t see a single thing in front of you. Trust Him to show you the way.”
“Mmm,” Seth said again. He wasn’t sure he believed what Rachel was saying, or even understood all of it, but she did, and he didn’t want to contradict her when she was doing so much for him.
“You’ll have to baby-proof your house right away. Toddlers have the tendency to get into everything and climb on everything. Caden will bump his head and fall to the floor more times than you’ll be able to count. But we can at least make the bumps less bumpy and the falls less painful.”
We?
Had he really come over only to find day care for Caden, or had God led him over here for more than that? He knew what Rachel would say if he voiced the question aloud. He appreciated her so much for offering her advice and assistance, but again he had trouble forming the words to express his gratitude.
“I know a little bit about baby-proofing. My sister gave me some extra hardware they had left over after putting their own house in order for the twins, but I’m not sure where everything goes or how it works. Samantha or Will can probably help me, but they’re busy with the store, so it may be a few days.”
“I’m sure they have their hands full with the grocery and their own kids. I’m free after work tomorrow. I could come over and help you set everything up,” she offered.
Caden started hiccuping in his sleep, and Seth and Rachel chuckled softly together.
“I guess this will be an adventure,” he admitted. He’d always been one to chase adventure...though he’d never expected to face one quite this huge. There was a big, wide ocean in front of him and he didn’t even know how to trim the sails.
But he could learn. And whether it was God or circumstance or whatever, he was grateful for all the support he was receiving. From his family...and from Rachel. What if she hadn’t been the one to win him at the auction, telling him her story and putting her in his head as someone he could turn to in this situation? He didn’t even want to think about that.
“Adventure is a good way to look at it,” she said. “You and Caden are a team.”
He looked down at the still-hiccuping but soundly sleeping little boy in his arms and his heart welled.
He wouldn’t let Caden down, no matter what.
He was Caden’s permanent legal guardian and would be the only parent the boy would ever know.
It was what Luke and Tracy would have wanted. It was what Caden needed. And it was what Seth was determined to be.
A father.
One day at a time.
Rachel was great at doling out counsel but not so much at putting it to use in her own life.
Seth was trying to figure out how to parent Caden—and he was looking to her for advice?
She felt as if someone had stamped a giant fail sign on her forehead. What use was she going to be to Seth—or Caden—when she didn’t have her own house in order?
Actually, helping Seth was a good way to get out of her own head for a while, to forget the constant bickering that had taken over her relationship with Zooey. At least she knew what to do with Caden.
She had to admit she was looking forward to Seth bringing sweet Caden over for day care. Rachel loved children of all ages, but there was something about a pudgy toddler, just learning to strike out on his own and explore the world, that really captured Rachel’s heart.
And Caden would need all the extra love and attention she could give him. He was fortunate to have such a dedicated guardian in Seth, and he had Seth’s extended family to offer strength and support. He was going to be okay, but Rachel still grieved over the circumstances that had left this boy without his mother and father.
And yet she saw something in Seth—his dedication and determination—that made her think he would turn out to be a fine father for Caden in the long run.
Seth had entrusted her with Caden’s day care, and she was resolved to do everything she could to make Seth’s transition from footloose and fancy-free to father and rancher as streamlined and painless as possible.
In some ways it would be easier for Caden than for Seth. Caden would adapt quickly. Poor Seth knew next to nothing about child care and had admitted he understood little about ranching, either.
And now, in the space of one day, he had a child and owned a ranch.
Talk about a learning curve.
Rachel poured herself a cup of coffee and went out to sit on the front porch and enjoy the early morning. Seth would be coming a bit earlier than the other parents so he and Caden would have more time to adjust to their first day.
Most of the time it was harder on the parents than it was on the children to let go that first day. Given Seth’s peculiar situation, she suspected it might be even more difficult for him. His life had undergone so many changes so quickly he probably didn’t know which way was up anymore.
Putting everything else aside, she felt sure he was mourning