Defy Not The Heart. Amy Blankenship
Читать онлайн книгу.
of their little shelter and headed for solitude. He really just needed to get away from everyone, especially Toya. Shinbe hid well his jealousy for Toya, and the love Kyoko held for his sibling. Day after day, he stayed with the group, only to be near her, to protect her⦠even though her eyes were always on Toya.
Shinbe ground his teeth together painfully. He should be like his other two brothers, Kyou and Kotaro, and separate from the group to fight Hyakuhei on his own. But he knew he had to stay with the group to keep her safe. He was one of her guardians and she needed him. Even Kyou and Kotaro protected her from afar.
Yes, Shinbe knew he played the game well by hiding his attraction to Kyoko. He had practiced it for a long time, even groping other girls⦠especially if Kyoko was within earshot or watching, so she would never find out his secret. They thought he loved all women, little did they know his heart belonged to only one, his priestess.
Usually he would pick Suki to grope, knowing she would hit him, and the pain would help steady his thoughts. He was such a coward when it came to telling Kyoko his true feelings.
Lately, it had been getting worse for him, harder for him to hide. Kyoko trusted him, smiled at him. She talked to him, often confiding her feelings to him when he caught her upset over Toyaâs immature ways. It all shattered him, little by little.
Without realizing where heâd walked to, Shinbe glanced up and sighed. He was in the gardens of the maiden shrine. Without even realizing it, heâd wanted to be closer to her. Kyoko would not come back through the time portal this late at night⦠so why had he come?
Staring at the maiden shrine, his amethyst eyes glowed in the reflection of the moon. Shinbe decided this was as safe a place as any⦠in a world full of demons anyway.
Spreading the blanket out in the soft grass, he paid no attention to the eerie glow of the area, subconsciously blaming the illumination on the moon light. Laying down he closed his eyes, waiting for the dreams he knew would soon come, just like they always did. They haunted him, making him want her to see him, not as a guardian or ally⦠but as a man.
*****
Kyoko groaned, resisting the urge to smack her forehead âInto A Brick Wall.' Her conscience started flipping out in her head, and she was just high enough to argue back with it. She hadn't meant to get drunk with Tasuki and his college friends. It had all been a big mistake, and all her fault. Sheâd gone to the Halloween party like sheâd promised, knowing she would never drink anything. NEVER! She never did.
She growled at herself, rolling her eyes. How was she to know that the huge bowl of fruit cocktail sitting beside the punch bowl had been soaking in alcohol for days? Sheâd thought it was supposed to taste like grapefruit and had eaten a lot of it before she felt the effects of the alcohol hit her.
Kyoko stumbled over her own feet, righting herself quickly before she had a chance to fall. "This sucks!" she yelled knowing no one could hear her. Now she was late and she knew she was going to be in a lot of trouble with Toya. Just thinking of him yelling at her was already giving her a headache.
âWelcome to hell⦠population one,â Kyoko mumbled to herself as she kicked a pebble.
Desperately, she hoped Toya would just wait until morning before coming to get her. Or better yet, see if she would show up with the daylight. As drunk as she was, she could hardly see straight, and she didn't want to fight with him. She didn't want to go home either. She silently groaned to herself. Her mother would lecture her for a week if she found out she was drunk, even if it had been an accident.
Kyoko tried hard to stay in a straight line as she walked. Finally, she spotted the maiden shrine in the clearing behind her house. Closing one eye so the maiden statue would come into better focus, she giggled, and then thought to herself, 'Oh God, now I know I'm drunk.' With a swaying shrug, she did the only thing she knew to do.
She walked into the shrine house, straight up to the maiden statue, and leaned against it, hoping to make it safely through to the other dimension in time to pass out.
*****
Shinbe was once again having a very erotic dream of Kyoko writhing under him, crying out his name over and over, screaming it as he pounded into her, staring down into her face and driving all thoughts of Toya from her.
He jerked awake⦠his body broke out in a sweat. Breathing hard, he could still feel her under him, letting him love her and she had loved him back. Her cries were still ringing in his ears. His heart was still beating so fast, slamming against his ribs the same way he had been slamming into her.
Shinbe sat up. Clinching his hands, he raised them to cover his face. Unable to stop it from escaping him, he cried out into the silence, full of pain and hidden rage at the unfairness of it all. All he ever wanted was to love her, and it was slowly eating him alive.
Hearing a twig snap, Shinbe quickly pulled his hands down. His amethyst gaze scanned the area and came to rest on Kyoko's shocked features. His mind seemed to instantly go into slow motion.
'No, it couldn't be⦠not now, not here.' Her eyes were wide at hearing his cry, and her hand was over her mouth. 'No⦠go away, please,â he mentally begged. 'You can't be here, not right now, itâs too dangerous⦠Iâm dangerous.'
Shinbe watched as she lowered her hand from her lips, a look of worry crossing her face. Then, he saw her sway as she made her way towards him. He wondered if she was even real, or if he was still dreaming.
Kyoko was still trying to make sure she was going in the right direction to get to the hut when she heard an almost inhuman cry coming from somewhere close to her. Her eyes focused as she tried to find the source of the sound. Her heart was still racing from the fright it had given her. Then she noticed Shinbe lying there on a blanket in the grass, all alone. The haunted cry had to have come from him.
She wanted to know what was wrong. Had someone been killed? That had to be it for such a sound to come from the always calm, cool, and friendly guardian. She tried to steady her legs as she made her way over to him.
Shinbe groaned as he watched Kyoko do the stupidest thing he had ever seen her do. She walked straight over to him and knelt down, reaching her hand out to touch his.
"Shinbe, what is it? Is someone hurt?"
He could hear the fear in her voice. She thought something was wrong. He almost laughed at the truth in that question, but thought better of it. She didn't know his secret. He was still safe, could still hide his heart from her.
Another wave of dizziness caught Kyoko unaware, and she couldn't keep her balance while kneeling beside him. She accidentally leaned too far forward and fell right into his lap. Stifling a giggle, she remembered something was wrong with him and opened her eyes again trying to concentrate. All this felt so much like a dream.
Kyoko suddenly noticed Shinbeâs chest was bare. Corded muscles were tensing, rippling, and stretching under her palms. She had never seen him with his shirt off before and was amazed. She blushed, knowing she shouldn't be thinking of him this way. He was her guardian and friend.
Trying to sober up, Kyoko shook her head, which didn't really help matters. She slowly lifted her gaze to his. He hadn't moved an inch and still hadn't told her what was wrong. Now she wished he would, because the look on his face was starting to alarm her.
Shinbe's body was shaking as he restrained himself from touching her. Something with more power than him seemed to be pushing him, demanding he reach out and take what he wanted more than breath. He would have been fine, but now she was here in his lap, staring into his eyes. Eyes he knew had to be full of pain, and she wanted to know what was wrong.
Something was definitely wrong with him and he couldnât stop what seemed to be spinning quickly out of his control.
"I can't take it anymore," his voice was ragged with the force of his emotion riding so high. With those words he was trying to warn her, trying to tell her to get away, to go back to the other side of the time portal where she would be safe. Not to come back