Manifesto: How To Get What You Want Without Trying. The Doctor Barefoot
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nothing as exhilarating as looking around you and saying, ‘I manifested all this.’ It’s utterly magnificent in fact. But don’t say I didn’t warn you (and I’m not messing about when I say all this – trust me).
Comrades, sisters and brothers of the world, the revolution has begun. No more confusion about getting what you want. The time has come to get what you want without confusion.
This is a bloodless revolution – but it’s not for sissies. There will be disorientation. After aeons of confusion and clinging to the past, clarity is at first disorientating. This is only natural. Disorientation, however, is only disorientation and will pass as quickly as it came, leaving in its wake scenes of such splendour you will gasp in astonishment.
Have courage. This is a revolution of the heart. The heart will see things differently now and as it does, reality will change to match it. This may require you saying goodbye to many things of the past as the new makes itself known in your life. At times you will no longer recognize yourself as you struggle to grasp on to unfamiliar reference points.
be bold, for when the dust settles and the sound of galloping hooves fades into the distance, you will find yourself enjoying the life you always dreamed of but never really believed you could have.
Be bold, comrades, sisters and brothers, for when the dust settles and the sound of galloping hooves fades into the distance, you will find yourself enjoying the life you always dreamed of but never really believed you could have. And if you don’t believe me either, read this manifesto and find out for yourself.
Not that I really mind – all faux-revolutionary propaganda aside – the internal revolution’s already paid off for me, so I’m all right, Jack – but to increase my own good fortune, I know the only way is to share it. So I’m giving you the precise lowdown on exactly how it’s done – the Taoist way – the way of wu wei, in fact – and you can use it or not as suits.
One thing’s for sure, the more of us who do it now, the happier we’ll all be, which will make me happier because I love it when people laugh and smile. It thrills me to the quick.
so, am I a jammy bastard?
I don’t think so. I’ve worked patiently, consistently, tirelessly and lovingly for over twenty years, always faithful to the vision, never once wobbling in the face of constant obstruction and adversity, never complaining (except to one or two really close friends, who I actually drove half mad) about having no wealth or home for that time, never selling out and taking the conventional route to comfort, and doing it pretty much always with a smile and a cheerful heart. Yes, I’m a sensational guy; it’s true. Sure, I have my faults, but then who doesn’t. Sure, there are people who hate me and bless them all, but there are far more who love me and you know why, because I love you – you in everyone. It’s as simple as that. And the you in everyone is the Tao, the Great Spirit, the Ineffable Suchness, generating, permeating, animating, connecting and informing the entirety of all creation, and if you love that, as I do, it loves you back, as you love me and I love you.
So no, not a jammy bastard at all, but a well-blessed bastard for sure, and damn thankful to life, myself and you that it’s so. And now you can be one too – in fact you already are (you blessed bastard, you) – as I said, the revolution has begun whether you are aware of it or not.
But why bother? Why bother manifesting what you want – the Taoist way or any other way for that matter? Why rock the boat? Because unless you’ve learned to live your entire life in serene meditation without money, food, possessions or any other form of material sustenance …
you’ve got to do something while you’re hanging around waiting to die
Haven’t you?
Well, possibly not. You could be a professional lotus-eater, hanging back in the cul-de-sac and never venturing another step on the Great Thoroughfare of Life. You could play safe, avoid the adventure, forget all about the revolution and mollify yourself with TV, banal conversation, second-rate sex, tainted romance and consumerism instead. You could, in other words, do nothing much and that would be fine – horses for courses, as it were. You could still read this manifesto – it would amuse you regardless.
But I tell you what, if you reckon on the fact that you’re going to die anyway one day, and you never know exactly when that will be until it happens, and you figure from that that you’ve got nothing to lose and in fact everything in the entire world to gain, then with the data you access from reading this, you will, in no time, find yourself having a ball, baby, you’ll find yourself having an absolute ball. So put on your dancing shoes and let’s dance. Me, I go barefoot.
dancing with the Universal Dinner Lady
(or Universal Dinner Man, if you really want to be anal about it)
Manifesting the life you want is a dance you do with the Tao. That’s the point of it. It is, to be crude about it, a spiritual experience. You see it’s not the things, situations and events you manifest that bring you spiritual satisfaction, it’s watching the Tao in action as those things, situations and events spring into existence before your very eyes – that’s the blessing, that’s the point (if there is one).
But what is this Tao you dance with? The Tao, the Great Spirit, the Ineffable Suchness, generating, permeating, animating, connecting and informing the entirety of all creation, is actually something you can’t describe in words. It’s simply far too big to fit within words no matter how well-configured or chosen, even for such a loquacious chap as I. But you can trigger the realization of it – after all, it’s at the existential core of each and every one of us – by playing silly games. Traditionally, the Taoists of ancient times called it the mother of both existence and non-existence – note mother, not father. This alludes to its nurturing nature. But obviously the Tao is not really a woman, nor is it a man for that matter. This indicates that ancient Taoists were just as inclined to play silly games as post-modern ones, in which case come with me all the way into silliness here and picture this.
you’ve got nothing to lose and in fact everything in the entire world to gain.
You’re standing in line in the school canteen, Oliver Twist-style, your empty plate in your hands, shuffling along as kids do, looking down at the floor or at the dodgy haircut of the person in front of you. All of a sudden you find yourself at the front of the queue, and looking up you’re startled and gratified to see that the dinner lady, far from the dowdy archetype, is actually a voluptuous, sensuous, full-lipped, sex-goddess of a woman wearing silk underwear, suspenders, stockings and heels beneath her apron (or perhaps a firm-muscled sex-god, depending on your preference), who smiles at you bountifully and says, ‘Yes? And what would you like, young woman (or man)?’ Her body language, facial expression and vocal tone suggest you can ask for anything – anything in the whole wide world – and she’ll heap it on your plate.
‘I want everything,’ you hear yourself say, ‘not just purity or peace of mind, Dinner Lady, but absolutely everything.’
And rather than calling you a greedy little git, she smiles even more munificently than before and says, ‘You got it kid, but dance with me first!’ because she loves it when you ask for everything – it’s her