Paranormal Erotica. Elizabeth Coldwell
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co-workers and friends, people who’d lived in her dorm at university. Everybody had come. Everyone but Devon.
The birthday girl got a special seat near a table that was piled up with gifts. ‘I thought you said no presents.’
‘It’s your fortieth,’ Marjorie said with a shrug. ‘People want to make it special for you. You’d do the same.’
‘That’s true,’ Laura May agreed.
She’d already celebrated with family on her actual birthday. This weekend party was strictly friends. Marjorie had rented the entire restaurant because she’d invited so many people. Thank goodness such a high percentage had RSVPed. Laura May would have felt like a total loser if nobody showed up.
‘Did you hear from Devon?’ she asked, trying to sound casual.
Marjorie must have heard the anxious quiver in her voice. ‘No, he never got back to me. Why do you care so much about Devon anyway? Got a little high school crush on him, do you?’
Laura May glanced around quickly, making sure no one from her high school was within earshot. ‘In high school I had a crush on him, sure. Who didn’t?’
‘I didn’t,’ Marjorie chuckled.
Laura May rolled her eyes. ‘We didn’t go to the same high school.’
Marjorie knocked back another drink. ‘I had a crush on my geography teacher, Mr Kazberg.’
Laura May sipped the good wine Marjorie had ordered. ‘Ahh, unrequited love.’
‘Who said mine was unrequited?’ Marjorie asked, waggling her eyebrows.
‘You’re bad.’
‘Badder than you know, kiddo.’
Shaking her head, Laura May glanced around the room. There was ephemeral music pumping through the stereo system, but she could barely hear it over her friends’ insistent chatter. She was glad they were having a good time. Who could resist drinking with old pals?
‘Do you mind if I mingle?’ Laura May asked her friend. ‘There are so many people here, and I’ve barely spoken two words to some of them.’
Marjorie raised an eyebrow. ‘The wallflower’s finally in bloom, is she?’
‘Guess so.’ In truth, she wanted to probe her high school alumni for information about the missing Devon.
With a plate of appetisers in hand, Marjorie made her way to the grown-ups who had once been teens. More than twenty years since Laura May had seen most of them. Unbelievable! There were days when Laura May didn’t feel much more than twenty. The years flew by so fast. Too fast.
‘Hey, guys. How’s it going?’ She put on her party smile and tried to be entertaining.
The women who’d once been girls squealed and hugged her, got the Happy Birthdays out of the way early so they could all reminisce about the golden years.
‘When we were teenagers, my dad used to say to me, “These are the best years of your life,” and I never believed him.’ Courtney of Kenmore High bobbed a tiny umbrella in her cocktail. ‘Now that my kids are in their teens, do you know what I’m saying? “These are the best years of your life. Don’t let them pass you by.” And do they believe their old mom? Nah, they’re just like me. Kids think they know best.’
The conversation veered in the direction of other people’s children, which Laura May always found alienating. People without kids couldn’t truly understand people with them, and vice versa. Laura May truly believed that.
‘What about that guy … what was his name?’ Laura May was desperate to inconspicuously bring the conversation around to her high school crush. ‘Devon. That’s right. Remember him?’
‘Oh, that’s a sad story,’ Tabar said, shaking his head slowly. ‘Car crash, maybe three years ago?’
Laura May’s stomach twisted in knots. Outwardly, she was too paralysed to speak.
‘What, he died?’ Courtney asked.
‘No, no.’ Tabar shook his head.
‘Oh, thank God he’s OK,’ Laura May said, almost without thinking.
‘Well, I wouldn’t say that.’ Tabar stared into his lager, tugging on the bar mat to move the glass. ‘He’s in a coma, has been all this time.’
‘Holy fuck,’ Courtney gasped.
‘A coma?’ Laura May choked on the words, so simple and short, but complicated as hell. Her throat ran dry. Her brain buzzed like a beehive, and it hurt. God, it hurt.
Laura May spent the remainder of her party in a bereaved daze. She’d had such high hopes for the night. Hell, she’d pretty much planned on going home with Devon. She’d even worn her lucky panties with the cut-out heart shape and a dangling rhinestone in the middle. A little part of her was angry at him for not being there, and that anger was her greatest shame.
There was only one moment she really remembered after that. Marjorie insisted she open her presents in front of everyone, just like little kids at birthday parties.
‘None of this was necessary,’ Laura May told her guests. ‘But thank you, everyone. You’re all so generous.’
Most of the gifts were generic, given that they came from people she hadn’t seen in decades. After she’d set them aside or placed them back in their gift bags, she couldn’t even remember what she’d just opened. Marjorie’s gift was the rare exception.
‘You shouldn’t have, Marjorie!’ Laura May shook her head as she took her best friend’s gift in hand. ‘You’re already paying for this party.’
‘It’s just an itty-bitty gift that reminded me of you,’ Marjorie said with a wolfish grin.
Laura May tore into the wrapping paper. When she saw what was inside, her cheeks flushed. It might as well have been a vibrator.
‘I figure it’s been so long since you had a man around the house that I’d buy you one.’ Marjorie cackled, but laughter from the crowd of guests was sparse. Laura May was not amused by the anatomically correct chocolate mini-man. Not in the least.
‘What?’ Marjorie carried on. ‘This guy’s much better than a flesh-and-blood man. He’s super-tasty and he doesn’t sweat or make stupid jokes or hog the remote. And he’s a “candy man” so you he’s going to buy you nice things.’
Inside, Laura May was raging. She wanted to scream and swear, slap Marjorie in the face, anything to show the woman how rude and mean and inappropriate this gag gift was. But the anger subsided almost as fast as it came on, replaced promptly by a debilitating sadness.
When Laura May tried to speak, all that came out was a whisper. Despite her intense emotion, the only words she could bring herself to say were ‘Thank you’.
The first thing she did when she got home was toss that ridiculous, enraging little man in the garbage. Well, he wasn’t so little, truth be told. His chocolate cock hung so low he looked, at a glance, like he had three legs. OK, that was an exaggeration, but it was unrealistically huge. But even that was no reason to keep him. The chocolate was probably waxy and gross. She tossed it in the trash, packaging and all.
She’d left her own party unreasonably early, sneaking out when Marjorie was in the bathroom. No sense attracting attention to her departure. In fact, she’d left most of her gifts back at the restaurant. She wasn’t sure why she’d brought the candy man home at all.
The drink had gone to Laura May’s head more than she’d realised. Once she’d kicked off her heels, her head started spinning. Her eyelids were like iron. Fully dressed, she draped herself across the couch and fell fast into a dreamless sleep.
A rap at the door awoke her and she sat bolt upright. At first, she wasn’t sure where she was. Laura May very rarely