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industrialization, and a consequent rapid growth of an urbanized population divorced from the countryside and food production? Religion may play its part in the form of a Protestant work ethic which spawned a breed that would rather build an empire or factory than waste hours preparing and eating food; a peculiarly Anglo-Saxon form of Puritanism which holds that it is immoral to enjoy or cherish food too much, parsimony and abstinence being the higher goals. Other factors might include our grey northern climate, the legacy of post-war rationing, our close identification with the United States and ‘time is money’ American capitalism. Or might it be a matter of simple xenophobia, complicated by a fine overlay of class; the notion that food is something fancy that only foreigners, or those who ape them, enjoy? Whatever the historical explanation, the fact remains that food never has been a British priority and shows no signs of becoming one in the near future.

      One of the most amusing but telling insights I happened on in the course of writing this book was the following letter, published in The Times during the wave of concern that flowed through Britain in the wake of the transmission of Jamie’s School Dinners:

      Sir,

      A letter from my daughter’s primary school in Essex reads:

       Change to the School Menu

      In response to recent publicity, ‘Turkey Twizzlers’ have been taken off the school menu and replaced by ‘Chicken Teddies’.

      What is it about the British and food? We just don’t get it, do we? Well, it’s time that we did.

       BAD FOOD BRITAIN IN NUMBERS

1	One in every four British households no longer has a table that everyone can eat around
57	The percentage of British men who have little interest in food
38	The percentage of British women who have little interest in food
1	One out of every three Britons say they do not eat vegetables because they require too much effort to prepare
50	The percentage of Britons who really enjoy eating
2003	The year by which Britain ate more ready meals than the rest of Europe put together
40	The percentage of patients entering and leaving British hospitals in 2004 with malnutrition. The equivalent figure in British nursing homes is 60 per cent
29	The number of unique British products with protected status in the EU in 2005. Italy had 149, France had 143, Portugal 93, Spain 91, Greece 84
40	The percentage of food bought in Britain, but never eaten
35	The average amount in pence spent on food ingredients for a primary school meal in 2003. This is half what is spent on lunch for residents in HM Prisons and a quarter of the sum allocated to feeding an army dog
48	The percentage of Britons who say they are fed up being told what to eat
20	The percentage of British viewers who say that TV food programmes encourage them to cook
4	Only four out of ten Britons enjoy eating meals with their children
69	The percentage of Britons who are still confused about which foods are healthy
1	One out of every two meals eaten in Britain is now eaten alone
63	The percentage of the food eaten by Britons in 2004 that was home-produced, down from 75 per cent in 1994
1	Only one in five Britons will go out of their way to buy British food if it means paying more for it
50	The percentage of all British shoppers who say that they do not care where their food comes from
2020	The year by which at least a third of all British adults, one fifth of British boys and one third of British girls will be obese, if current trends continue
51	Britain eats more than half of all the crisps and savoury snacks eaten in Europe

       BRITAIN’S TOP 10 BAD FOOD BELIEFS

      * Eating is about refuelling, not pleasure. A part of life’s routine, just like going to the lavatory.

      * Home cooking takes too long. Successful Britons buy ready-made food instead.

      * Food is not important. Pretty much everything else in life matters more.

      * A dining table is a redundant item of furniture.

      * The single most important thing to know about food is what it costs.

      * There is no point in giving children good food. They won’t appreciate it.

      * There is no such thing as bad foods, only bad diets.

      *

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