Dirty Little Secrets: A tempting friends to lovers romance. Kierney Scott
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the jig was up. “No one will believe that,” she said softly. It was time for Ben to except the truth about his career…and himself.
“Why wouldn’t they? It’s not like you have always honoured our marriage vows now is it?” Ben asked pointedly. “I think there is a certain James Emerson who can attest to that.”
Megan shook her head. “There is one small problem. Chad is gay.” Ben had lost the plot. There was no way they could pull it off.
Ben visually cringed at the word. “No one knows that. He’s just a civil servant with a keen interest in politics. No one will ever put this back on me. Unless you tell them,” Ben said pointedly. The gaze from his dark brown eyes pinned her in place. “It makes sense that he was here to see you. Given your history with men…” He left the rest unsaid. He was using her past against her, the secrets she had told him, the confidences they had shared. They both knew what he was implying: once a slut always a slut.
Confusion slammed up against anger as pieces began to slide into place. He was prepared to use her past against her. Megan’s hands began to shake. She clenched them into angry fists to control the jerky movement. “Have you always intended to use me as a scapegoat if you were caught?” She already knew the answer but she needed to hear it from his mouth. She willed him to tell her she was wrong.
“It’s not like that, Megan. It’s not like I planned on getting caught. I’ve always been so careful. You know that.”
“But you planned for the eventuality?” She pulled her hands away.
“It’s not like that.”
Something in her snapped, but instead of getting angry and screaming, she closed down, went impossibly numb. “Yes or no? Answer my question.”
For a long time silence reigned but eventually Ben nodded.
“Say it.” Megan’s voice cracked as the betrayal bit into her. “Say the words.”
“Yes.”
“Look at me. Say the whole thing. I need to hear it all.”
Ben covered his face with his hand. He looked so boyish and handsome. “Yes, I always knew I would blame you if anyone ever found out about Chad. I don’t want to hurt you, Megan. I had no intention of anyone finding out. I will be more careful in the future. I promise.”
The words should have stung, but she was ready for them. She had already closed herself down. No one was getting in, nothing could touch her. The only sadness she had was from the knowledge that Ben was just another man. Her anger turned on herself for thinking Ben was any different. It was her fault for trusting him. He could not use her past against her had she not been stupid enough to confide in him. Shame on her for thinking he was different, that what they had was special. “You did not mean to hurt me but I was the contingency plan. If anything happened, you would throw me under the bus. Megan did it. She slept with plenty of men. What’s one more to add to the tally?” A cold realisation dawned on her. “And Booker knows about it. That’s why you called him. Did you have a plan? Does he know everything?”
Ben ran a hand through his short dark hair. He crossed the room to her and tried again to reach for her hands, but she pulled them away.
“Answer me!” she screamed. She did not care who heard her. She would give every bloody journalist on her lawn the story of the year.
“Yes, Booker knows about my friendship with Chad. And he knows about you. It was his idea to use you as a cover.”
Megan let out a stream of air. “Fantastic. This story just keeps getting better and better.” Megan backed up and collapsed on the leather wingback chair in the corner of the room. She closed her eyes and dropped her head into her hands. She felt so alone. She had not felt so betrayed since she had left Mississippi. That time it had been another man who had let her down. When would she learn her lesson? No one was to be trusted. If she could not rely on Ben, there was no one.
She wished she could be normal and just cry. This would be a bloody great time to do it. A normal person would cry. Every week she saw men and women on the witness stand dissolving into tears, crying and whimpering. Maybe she should work on learning how to do that, because she needed something to soothe the dull ache she felt in her chest.
She shook her head. She was not going to feel sorry for herself or wish that she was weaker. She had made her choices. She had benefited from her relationship with Ben in many ways, even if he had just proved he was like every other man she had ever known, taking when there was nothing left to give. She could choke back her righteous indignation. She could play her role.
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