Down on Daffodil Lane. Rebecca Pugh
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Ten
‘See? I knew it would be a good idea. This place is great.’ Robert admired the café, while Maria lingered beside him, nervously twiddling her fingers. The absence of her wedding ring was still taking some getting used to. More often than not, she’d unconsciously touch the finger it had once sat snug on, and at the vacant space, her heart would drop. She glanced down now, to check that it definitely wasn’t there, that the last couple of months hadn’t all been a bizarre dream she was waiting to wake up from. No, no wedding ring decorated her finger. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she had a faint recollection of the night she’d torn it off and lobbed it across the kitchen. It was a wine-fuelled memory, hazy and blurred and included tears aplenty. It was real though, and it had happened.
As she listened to her brother wittering on, Maria knew he was trying just that little bit too hard. She was sure he felt like he was accompanying a child on their first day at big school, easing them into a brand new world with care and consideration. His voice, usually one of a much deeper baritone, was over-bright, and Maria imagined this was how Rob would speak to his twin daughters, Kelly and Kayleigh, when trying to coax them into the bath before bedtime. She had to admit, despite loving her younger brother dearly, the whole thing was rather excruciating. She was a grown woman, for crying out loud! A grown woman who was supposed to be able to take care of herself but, then again, she’d never had much experience of that, had she? Still, it was no excuse and she wished she’d been able to do this morning by herself rather than with Rob, her pillar of support, by her side.
While walking through the sun-dappled town, just a stone’s throw away from the cottage she was staying in on Daffodil Lane, Maria and Rob had stumbled upon the café during their search for breakfast.
Neither of them had noticed the cafe at first, sat snug as it was between a bustling butcher’s and a fresh veg shop. Now here they stood, brother and sister, wrapped in the cosy warmth that the café had immediately offered up, like a soft embrace, as soon as they’d stepped through the door. A tinkling bell above the door had indicated their arrival, yet even that gentle sound had made Maria flinch.
As nice as the café was, Maria had the insane urge to hurry back outside into the cool, fresh air, to ground herself. She risked a surreptitious glance at the door, but in the end, she decided against it. After all, what would running off achieve? She knew that Rob, as easy-mannered as he was, would come bolting after her and possibly drag her back inside kicking and screaming if that was what it took.
Maria’s bad mood was nothing to do with the cafe. It really was rather lovely, but she wasn’t in the right frame of mind for hellos and how do you dos. How could she be when, just a few weeks before, she’d signed the divorce papers for her failed marriage? Never mind cheerful greetings, she realised that she wasn’t in the mood for anything, including merry jaunts into town. She would have much preferred to remain shut away in the cottage, ignoring the fact that life was continuing around her. Still, she supposed it was best that she got out and took a look around, rather than continue in the hermit-like way she’d recently taken up, hiding from everyone and everything. Plus, she supposed this made Rob feel good about himself, that he was helping his sister when she needed it most. Still, she couldn’t shake off the uncomfortable feeling that, if anything, it should have been the other way around. Big sister looking after little brother. Not that Rob would ever be in the same position as she’d managed to find herself in, she thought. He was so settled in family life and blissful domesticity; he had his beautiful wife Rosanna and adorable daughters, not forgetting his fulfilling career as a music teacher at his daughters’ school.
Maria loved him to the moon and back, and could only thank him and appreciate his efforts. He had her best interests at heart, bless him, and to begrudge that wasn’t right, no matter how grumpy she felt.
That morning, Rob had turned up completely out of the blue and frogmarched her from the cottage, after ordering her to take a shower and get dressed. She knew it was bad because those were the sorts of things a person should want to take care of without needing to be told to do so by someone else, especially their brother. He’d also thrown into the mix a nice little remark on how rubbish she looked which hadn’t done much for her already crumbling self-confidence. Maria wasn’t sure whether she was thankful or annoyed in regards to his presence, but then there was still time to make up her mind. One part of her was grumbling over his interference while the other adored him for it, because she knew it was the kick up the backside she needed. The moping about and self-pity was beginning to bore her but she’d fallen into a pit she couldn’t get out of, no matter how much she tried to claw her way up the side.
Rob found a table, and Maria swallowed nervously. Being in the cafe meant inviting curiosity, which wasn’t what she wanted at all. She wanted the opposite. Maria wanted to tiptoe about in the shadows and be left to her own devices. Rob, as always, had other ideas – and didn’t seem to care whether she agreed with them or not, tugging her along on a wave of enthusiasm which they didn’t quite share.
‘This is exactly what we were looking for,’ Robert declared happily as he rubbed his hands together with relish. ‘Warm, inviting and…’ he sat down and snatched up a menu from the table, ‘they have a killer menu. Spot-on, this is.’ He added a nod for good measure and pointed towards the opposite chair, indicating for Maria to sit down.
She joined him and, once comfortable, glanced about the cafe. He was right, it was lovely, but lovely or not, it didn’t change how she felt inside. She knew that it bordered on ridiculous, the fact that she was worried to such an extent about merely heading into town. After all, people did this every single day. She eyed her brother but his face was hidden behind the menu he was scanning. His eyes swept over the laminated page hungrily. He was one of those infuriating people who didn’t seem to gain a pound no matter what he ate and how often, whereas Maria was sure that she would put on weight from merely looking at a slice of chocolate cake. She was suddenly aware of her thighs bunching together on the seat and knew she’d let herself down recently. She had gained a few pounds but she had her reasons. Tubs of ice cream and glasses of wine had never felt so reassuring, and they also managed to do a wonderful job of taking her mind off all of the things that troubled her. Like what she’d do with her life now that it only included herself, and who she’d spend every single day loving.
While she waited for Rob to finish his perusal of the menu, Maria thought back over her situation and felt another part of herself crumble away. It had been three weeks since she’d arrived at Daffodil Lane, and within that time she hadn’t left the cottage once. Thankfully, her mother’s friend, Geraldine, who owned the cottage, had popped by to stock up on food and other necessities that Maria might need, so she’d managed to