Sahm I Am. Meredith Efken
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views people who are infertile? What should our response be toward someone in this position? How can we create a more accepting and supportive environment for people dealing with this problem?
10. Phyllis and Jonathan are deeply wounded by the church they were serving. In what ways do our churches most commonly wound people? Why does this happen when Christians are supposed to be known by their love? How can we be part of the solution in preventing such wounds from being inflicted? What is the most healthy way to respond when a Christian hurts you? How can we show love and concern for a person who has been hurt by the church?
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Our current notion of “stay-at-home mom” grew out of the Victorian era of the Industrial Revolution, when it became fashionable for middle-class and wealthy women to stay home while their husbands went off to work. Prior to this, most families, except the upper class, operated cottage industries from their homes, requiring both parents to work together to maintain the business as well as raise children. During the post-WWII years, women were encouraged to stay home in order to create job openings for the men returning from war. The Stay-At-Home Mother became the ideal for motherhood—the calm, gracious, well-groomed perfect housekeeper, always ready with milk and cookies, whose children were the epitome of good manners and obedience.
Is this reality for any of you? Yeah…me neither. Yet, it seems many of us are still trying to attain that myth of domestic perfection, and when we fail, we feel guilty. Let’s face it—for a lot of us, being a SAHM is not the Utopia we are often taught to expect. Our tasks are myriad, tedious and repetitive, and the pay is often loneliness, frustration and a sense of failure. The rest of the non-SAHM world tends to view us as pathetic creatures who are wasting our talents and abilities on wiping noses, changing diapers and cleaning house. Honestly, some days, it feels like they’re right!
Even though we know in our hearts that what we are doing has incredible value and that staying home with our kids is really and truly a special privilege and blessing, it’s often hard to remember this in the middle of a child’s temper tantrum or while cleaning up the globs of jelly on the kitchen floor. That’s why I wrote this book. Somehow it’s easier to handle the challenges of this life when we have someone give us a hug and say, “I totally understand.” Consider my story that empathetic hug.
It’s hard to be empathetic without being realistic, though. So, in this book, you’ll notice that the characters tend to be pretty frank with each other and deal with issues that are as messy as a two-year-old eating spaghetti. I tried not to give easy answers or the typical Christian platitudes most of you are tired of hearing. In fact, my goal wasn’t to give answers at all—they’re not mine to give. But if you read this story and come away feeling encouraged, understood or having a better comprehension of what being a SAHM is really like, then I’ve done my job. And if you have a bit of fun in the process, all the better.
I want to give you some additional information regarding a few of the issues in the story. You or your friends may be dealing with these things, and it’s nice to know where to find helpful resources. This is by no means a complete list, but it should get you started:
Embryo Adoption: Endorsed by Focus on the Family as an excellent way to provide frozen embryos a chance to be born and grow up, embryo adoption is an ethical alternative to many of the more controversial infertility treatments. The Snowflakes program at Nightlight Christian Adoptions has more information about this unique, beautiful way to build a family, www.snowflakes.org.
Motherhood: Christian Mommies, www.christian-mommies.com. Extensive site with lots of articles, a discussion board and other resources.
Infertility: Hannah’s Prayer Ministries—Christian Support For Fertility Challenges, www.hannah.org. This online ministry includes support for both male and female infertility as well as miscarriage, the death of a child, etc.
International Adoption: RainbowKids, www.rainbowkids.com/index.chtml. This extensive Web site is a great starting place to begin researching international adoption and related issues.
Stay-At-Home Mothers: Hearts At Home, www.hearts-at-home.org. This Web site offers a magazine, conference info., bulletin boards and extensive links.
Women: Her Well-Being, e-mail discussion group, www.groups.yahoo.com/group/her-wellbeing. “A practical how-to list for Christian women, offering a listening ear, practical advice and a safe place to talk about ‘women’s stuff’ and share our stories and concerns.” Also, Christian Women Today, www.christianwomentoday.com, an extensive Web site with articles, discussion forums, advice columns and just about any other resources to help and encourage women in all stages of life.
E-mail loops like the one in the story can be found for most of these topics and just about any others through Yahoo Groups (www.groups.yahoo.com) and similar sites. You can do a search for your subject and peruse the list of available groups, then subscribe to the ones you are interested in. Some groups are more nurturing and considerate of people’s feelings than others, so you might have to try several before finding one that is a good fit for you.
Visit my Web site, www.meredithefken.com, for more information about me, my upcoming books, additional articles and resources on some of these subjects and support for writers. I would love to hear from you and give you the opportunity to receive my newsletter, so please send me an e-mail at [email protected] or snail-mail me c/o Steeple Hill, 233 Broadway, Ste. 1001, New York, NY 10279.
Thank you again for choosing my book to read. May God richly bless you.
| From: | VIM <[email protected]> |
| To: | Rosalyn Ebberly <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Home from Italy |
Hey Honey Sis!
Just little ol’ me, letting all y’all know we’re home from Italy. Great to be back on our native TEXAS soil. Frank and I were so disappointed you couldn’t make it to the wedding, though we understand it was short notice, bless your heart. Mama and Daddy said it was the most beautiful wedding in the world. I thought that was a tad insensitive considering your wedding was pretty, too, but I do believe mine was the day of my dreams—designer gown, gorgeous Italian husband, sunset on the beach, all my friends. And dear Patricia gave me a promotion and a raise as a wedding gift. You’d have had to scrape me off the floor I was so surprised! I’ll be headed back to work tomorrow with a ring on my finger and the title of senior public relations manager for the biggest marketing firm in Houston!
I wish you could see how great Ashley, Courtney and Stanley took to their new Nana and Papa. Mama and Daddy were fussing over them so much, you’d never know they already have three grandchildren. How ARE y’all’s sweet little kiddos, anyway? I can’t hardly wait for them to meet my stepchildren. My darlings and me just love each other to pieces already—the poor dears needed a mother. Frank and them treat me like I’m some hero, bless their hearts. And Mama said if there was a mother-of-the-year award, I deserved it, taking on a 9-, 6-, and 4-year-old, and me only 30 years old! I said, “Well, Rosalyn just turned 32, and she has 3 kids.” Mama laughed and said, “True, but she doesn’t have any career or social life, so what else could she do but have children?”
I’m attaching pictures of the wedding and our Italian honeymoon. Frank took all the Italy pictures, and he’s already griping about the wedding photos. But he’s such an artist about his photography, I didn’t expect nothing else. So there ya go. Enjoy!
Ciao,
Mrs. Veronica Marcello, WIFE of Francesco Marcello (doesn’t that sound beautiful?)
| From: | Rosalyn Ebberly <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: |
[SAHM I Am] TOTW August 2: Positive Self-image
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