Illusion. Emily French
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despair reflected in his countenance.
To her surprise, Seth Weston became distinctly uneasy under her assessing scrutiny, and moved restlessly.
For a few seconds they sat looking at each other and then, almost roughly, he said, “Miss van Houten, I had thought this over, of course, but I didn’t realize how it would all sound until I spoke those last words. I think the proposition I just made you is actually insulting, and I hope you’ll excuse me. It was an impulsive thing to do and I’m ashamed of it. So forget it. I’ll see myself out.”
He had the silver knob of his cane in his hand when Sophy found her voice. “Mr. Weston, I would like to accept your offer.”
Seth’s head came up. “You mean you’ll marry me?”
He leaned toward Sophy, his eyes narrowed, as if taking her measure, a measure that somehow puzzled him.
It did. The woman was rich and exceedingly attractive. Why connive an arranged marriage with a man she didn’t know from Adam? He found himself watching her mouth. On lips firm and full, a soft, mysterious, somehow inviting smile bloomed. Behind their protective lashes, a secret, pleased look flared in her eyes. It was an echo of her sensual smile. Seth felt his features lock into an unrevealing mask.
Sophy smiled faintly, finding it difficult to conceal a strong sense of elation. She had succeeded in her plan to break the trust. Now she would have only a single male to contend with... her husband.
Husband. The word made her insides squeeze all sick and scared. Husbands usually meant knowing each other in an intimate way! Sophy felt her stomach leap to her throat.
Husbands meant babies! Her stomach flipped again. Her whole body stiffened, and she felt her panic growing. Maybe he wouldn’t want her in that way? Maybe he would be content with her money? Her words were sober, but her eyes betrayed her.
“You’ve made your points very clearly, Mr. Weston. One thing, though, you didn’t mention. Since this would be a marriage of convenience, did you mean it would also be what I believe is called a ‘marriage in name only’?”
Seth paled. A frown creased his broad forehead into a network of lines, and something undefinable flickered in his eyes. He looked off over her head. There was a long pause. Sophy began to suspect she had offended him.
“Well, no,” he said slowly, his voice soft, deep as summer midnight, richly textured as plush velvet. “I didn’t mean that, I guess.” He stretched out his weak leg, absently rubbing his thigh through the fabric of his trousers.
Sophy nervously touched the round silver disk suspended from a delicate chain at the base of her throat and stifled a pang of fear. How had she expected him to react? The truth was, she hadn’t thought it all through that far. Just as she hadn’t considered she was being totally unreasonable in expecting him to forgo the expectation of a normal marriage and children.
She needed to think logically and calmly about the situation. Perhaps if she told him the truth, he would understand. She drew in a quavery breath, searching for cushioning words.
“I want only honesty between us. You seem to understand my situation, and I had hoped to come to some arrangement with you.” Sophy managed the words with a steadiness that surprised herself. Inside she was a bundle of agitation and chaotic thoughts.
Seth looked at her curiously for a moment, his interest heightened by her sudden diffidence. Sophy’s eyes were on his face, but he felt as though she did not actually see him.
There was a darkness in her eyes, a fear in her face that he had seen before only in the eyes of men going out to battle. Then she held out her hand. He looked surprised at the gesture but took the slim fingers in his own large ones. They were icy cold.
“What is it?”
There was a deep note in Seth’s voice that reached out and touched Sophy, bringing her back to reality. Suddenly her eyes were focused on his, and for a moment both of them were very still. His strongly magnetic eyes seemed to enter her very being and cause some strange fluttering near her heart.
She waited, aware of a breathless feeling. Her fingers trembled in Seth’s large hand, and she knew he must have felt it. The lines around his mouth deepened, and a muscle flickered in his jaw. His voice was steady, without emotion. “I cannot help you, if I don’t know what is wrong.”
His fingers tightened on hers, and he smiled, but his eyes gleamed with an unreadable emotion. Sophy’s senses reacted to the subtle force of his personality. There was a cool perception and an underlying intelligence in Seth Weston that she would do well to acknowledge. Deception or lies would not sit well with such a man.
She licked suddenly dry lips. “If it would not... inconvenience you too much, Mr. Weston, would you consider a marriage in name only?”
There was a distinct pause, then Seth asked cautiously, “Are you afraid of me, Sophy?” The question hung in the air between them.
“No.” Abruptly, she felt a searing need to share her secrets. She swallowed and gathered her courage. If they were to start off their married life right, she was going to have to be honest.
“As a charity worker in the army hospital, I helped tend hundreds of wounded soldiers, both Union and Confederate prisoners. The agony and misery I witnessed affected me deeply. I have sworn that I will never bear a child and so perpetuate the terrible things that brother can do to brother.”
The harsh contours of Seth’s face seemed to harden at the depth of despair in her voice, but he did not release the grip on her fingers. “The idea still distresses you?”
She frowned uncertainly. “No. But I made a solemn vow. One which I intend to keep.” Her fingers flexed against his palm. “Now that you know I will never give you a child, do you want to withdraw your offer of marriage?”
Seth’s eyes narrowed to blue slits as he examined her face carefully. Her eyes were wide, reflecting an appeal of which she wasn’t aware as she waited for his reaction.
He found his gaze drifting to her mouth, observing the way the lower lip slid beneath small white teeth. Was the action to prevent its trembling? Or a contrived expression of mystery, sensuality and allure? Whichever it was, Sophy van Houten was not what he had anticipated.
He had expected a weak, easily led woman, helplessly adrift without the support of her father, and instead here was a creature who, though she looked fragile, possessed a devastating candor, an integrity, that set all his preconceived notions of women in a spin.
Humor flickered briefly in the set features of his face. “Is that all? You don’t want children? That is your terrible confession?”
Sophy’s chin rose at the trace of amusement in his voice. “I am constantly told I am too unconventional, too reckless, that I must curb my foolish thoughts.” A little ghost of a smile touched her lips. “I am also aware that, even in a city that prides itself in being on the cutting edge of the new morality, to go against custom is to invite ostracism.”
“Money will open most doors, and we’ve just finished four years of bloodshed to confirm all men are born equal.” He slanted her an odd glance. “In any event, one man’s rose is another man’s cabbage. It seems we have things in common, after all. Children are not high on my list of priorities from this marriage.”
Recognizing in the simple statement both the truth and the utter insufficiency of the words, Sophy closed her eyes for a moment, relief surging through her. He had no intention of withdrawing his offer, she thought, with a trace of wonder. It was comforting and slightly scary, but it also gave her an oddly warm feeling right behind her breastbone.
Silence fell around them. Sophy stole another look at him, wishing she could sit here and savor this warm, comfortable feeling for the rest of time. Her fingers quivered a little in the warmth and strength of his clasp, and she smiled brilliantly up at him.
“We can call it settled, then?”
Seth went still. The unnatural quietness