He is real. A novel. Alisa Roft
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I answered with the air of mystery in my voice.
He stopped, pulled me to him. He put his hands on my waist and looked straight into my eyes, so heartfelt, silently, beyond all bounds deep, which made me all perk up, immediately I wanted to cuddle up to him even tighter, with my whole body, and I embraced him tight. He lowered his head, I could fell his wavy breath on my lips.
They say, the very first kiss in your life is unforgettable. That’s nonsense. In my opinion, the first kiss with any person who you really love is unforgettable. After all, we rarely meet such people, and it is always interesting to kiss them for the first time, and that naive, the very first, nobody knows when happened kiss becomes secondary. It becomes an echo of the ridiculous moment of the past, which used to seem so significant.
Yet during our first meeting with Misha in a cafe on the beach, when he was telling me about something at sunset, I constantly focused on his lips, imagining how they would kiss me, and mind it – everywhere. From time to time, I pretended to be a kind of interested listener, thinking about other things absolutely irrelevant to our talk.
He kissed me confidently, passionately and rudely at the same time, giving all of him to me and experiencing the whole storm of emotions. He embraced me greedily, squeezing me in his “bear hug”. I could feel his wet full lips, my arms wrapped around his big neck, sliding on his strong shoulders. I didn’t want to let him go, I didn’t want to leave him and being with him I didn’t want to stop. He managed to ignite a strong physical attraction in me. He’s just a very attractive guy, I said to myself, the common reaction of hormones to a so-called tactile contact. And also he is maddening sexy, excitingly masculine, strong… Well, well, stop, that’s all, turn on the light, throw a wet blanket on me, a kick in the ass will also work, as long as my hormones stop their rage.
I stopped, Misha did not open his eyes at once.
– And what did you want to talk about? – I looked at him with calm, confident eyes, as if I had everything under control (in a simulant but convincing way, it was as easy as a pie for me to imitate many emotions in a life-like manner).
Misha grinned, he was still holding me in his arms – a situation which I really wanted to prolong.
– About anything, and as you’ve thrown out a hint, not only to talk. I’m mad about you. I’d go with you right now anywhere for a few days.
– Aha! A couple of shots of whiskey – and crazy ideas started to come to your head? – I decided to laugh it off.
– Absolutely not, – he assured me; looking at him, I realized that he was serious.
– If it’s so, then gladly. Let’s go to pack the bags, do you have money for a trip? Actually, I’m a poor bartender, – I said sarcastically.
– I’ll find some for such an occasion.
By and large, he didn’t need to “look for” it, but I still didn’t know about it (these details will became clear later).
– And where are we going?
– Wherever you want, – he said with the air that it was possible to carry out our plans without any problems.
– Could you really dart off like this?
– Come on. – He took me by the hand and led me to the chaise-longues, which stood in even rows along the coast, sat down on one of them, and put me on his knees and continued: – All of us sometimes want to do something spontaneous, how long can we do the same things every day?
– But not always what you want matches coincides our possibilities. I can’t just turn around and leave it all. But who am I trying to deceive? What can I leave? A bunch of lifeless things in a rented apartment. And in general I would like to embark on some adventure with this guy. The advice of my “invisible friend” at the moment was simply vital. It wouldn’t be difficult to find out which games Misha plays, or, just the other way about, to ascertain the truthfulness of his words. But my friend was silent today, leaving me without his very necessary hints. And he could have answered. At least something, just to speak a little.
“No, don’t you want to?” He didn’t, didn’t speak.
– I understand, – said Misha with a slight disappointment in his voice. – And when shall we meet again now?
– I have a day off in a couple of days, invite me, offer me something. I put my arm around his neck and suddenly found myself thinking that I absolutely didn’t want to spend this couple of days without him.
It was quite unexpectedly. I hadn’t had such a lust for a guy yet.
– I’ll think of something. -He laid in the chaise and pulled me to him.
I was laying on Misha, because with his complexion he occupied all the space, I was more comfortable in his arms than in my own bed, these big hands that were holding my waist… his hands, it seemed as if I had become miniature and helpless under them. Not that “Anna – the sky is the limit for me”, but the one who got care and reliability. As if my problems can now become his problems, they won’t be so difficult when shared between the two of us. And tomorrow, having woken up, I won’t have to rack my brain where to go today, what to do to keep myself busy, in order not to go back to where there’s no need to go.
Why not? At least for a few days.
Yes, I had an “invisible friend”, he took care of me and helped more than anyone else, but he was so incorporeal and intangible (I still had to row with oars), he existed there and I was here in my own world. The final opinion about who he is, and why he volunteered to help me, formed quite recently, I had been making assumptions for a long time. And during all this time my friend could not confirm or deny my assumptions. This topic has never been discussed.
– Why don’t you have a boyfriend or husband? And your phone is silent all the evening, and not ringing off the hook because of calls or messages? With your appearance, you should definitely have a lot of admirers. —Misha didn’t give up trying to find out the details of my life.
– I shut my phone off. – Having said that with irony, I put my elbows on his firm chest, resting my chin on my palm. – Have you shut off yours too?
He did not answer, only a slight smirk played on his face.
– In fact, I have already ceased to communicate with others, a waste of time on the people who you keep communication with, just to keep yourself busy with something and in case you need a company for the evening. Neither of them really attracted me. It’s not that. I’m bored of it. – I did not continue and was silent, put my head on Misha’s shoulder with my palm on his stomach.
“Hey! – I mentally called my ‘invisible friend’. – Look what I’ve just said. Why would I be so sincere? Where are you?” His silence had already begun to make me angry and put me out of temper. I was looking for repose in Misha’s arms, and they gave it to me, leaning closer to him, I nestled my head against his hot neck. I was waiting for my friend’s explanations, but I didn’t hear anything except the sounds of wash.
– And why are you alone? – I asked, without lifting my head, slid my nose along his hard warm neck, inhaling the pleasant smell of men’s perfumes.
– I used to be married, but lost her in an accident, – he explained and then added after a short silence: – Lots is forgotten with time, I accepted the circumstances and continued to live on. – So he used an expression, that didn’t show his feelings, and turned the conversation to what, in his opinion, I was interested in. -Shall we drink one more “Chaser”?
– Yes, let’s drink it. Just it’s so comfortable with you. I don’t want to get up. – No, I’ve already lost my interest in whiskey.
– And