CHAPTER VII

       Table of Contents

      SUNDAY, THE 17TH — AFTER CHURCH — THE DEMORALIZED ARMY — SOLDIERS’ STORIES.

      Sunday, the 17th — the memorable seventeenth of May — as we were dressing for church, and had nearly completed the arrangement of shawls and gloves, we heard the loud booming of cannon. Frightened, for at this time we knew not what “an hour would bring forth,” seeing no one who might account for the sudden alarm, we walked down the street, hoping to find some friend that could tell us if it were dangerous to remain away from home at church. I feared leaving my little one for any length of time, if there were any prospect of an engagement. After walking a square or two, we met an officer, who told us the report we heard proceeded from our own guns, which were firing upon a party of soldiers, who were burning some houses on the peninsula on the Louisiana shore; he told us, also, it had been rumored that General Pemberton had been repulsed — that many citizens had gone out to attend to the wounded of yesterday’s battle — all the ministers and surgeons that could leave had also gone. Still, as the bell of the Methodist church rang out clear and loud, my friend and I decided to enter, and were glad that we did so, for we heard words of cheer and comfort in this time of trouble. The speaker was a traveller, who supplied the pulpit this day, as the pastor was absent ministering to the wounded and dying on the battle field. This was a plain man, of simple, fervent words, but with so much of heart in all his exercises, that we felt, after the last hymn had been sung, the last prayer said, that we had been in a purer atmosphere. After the blessing, he requested the ladies to meet and make arrangements for lint and bandages for the wounded. As we returned home, we passed groups of anxious men at the corners, with troubled faces; very few soldiers were seen; some battery men and officers, needed for the river defences, were passing hastily up the street. Yet, in all the pleasant air and sunshine of the day, an anxious gloom seemed to hang over the faces of men: a sorrowful waiting for tidings, that all knew now, would tell of disaster. There seemed no life in the city; sullen and expectant seemed the men — tearful and hopeful the women — prayerful and hopeful, I might add; for, many a mother, groaning in spirit over the uncertainty of the welfare of those most dear to her, knelt and laid her sorrows at the foot of that Throne, where no earnest suppliant is ever rejected; where the sorrow of many a broken heart has been turned in resignation to His will who afflicts not willingly the children of men. And so, in all the dejected uncertainty, the stir of horsemen and wheels began, and wagons came rattling down the street — going rapidly one way, and then returning, seemingly, without aim or purpose: now and then a worn and dusty soldier would be seen passing with his blanket and canteen; soon, straggler after straggler came by, then groups of soldiers worn and dusty with the long march. “What can be the matter?” we all cried, as the streets and pavements became full of these worn and tired-looking men. We sent down to ask, and the reply was: “We are whipped; and the Federals are after us.” We hastily seized veils and bonnets, and walked down the avenue to the iron railing that separates the yard from the street.

      “Where are you going?” we asked.

      No one seemed disposed to answer the question. An embarrassed, pained look came over some of the faces that were raised to us; others seemed only to feel the weariness of the long march; again we asked:

      “Where on earth are you going?”

      At last one man looked up in a half-surly manner, and answered:

      “We are running.”

      “From whom?” exclaimed one of the young girls of the house.

      “The Feds, to be sure,” said another, half laughing and half shamefaced.

      “Oh! shame on you!” cried the ladies; “and you running!”

      “It’s all Pem’s fault,” said an awkward, long-limbed, weary-looking man.

      “It’s all your own fault. Why don’t you stand your ground?” was the reply.

      “Shame on you all!” cried some of the ladies across the street, becoming excited.

      I could not but feel sorry for the poor worn fellows, who did seem indeed heartily ashamed of themselves; some without arms, having probably lost them in the first break of the companies.

      “We are disappointed in you!” cried some of the ladies. “Who shall we look to now for protection?”

      “Oh!” said one of them, “it’s the first time I ever ran. We are Georgians, and we never ran before; but we saw them all breaking and running, and we could not bear up alone.”

      We asked them if they did not want water; and some of them came in the yard to get it. The lady of the house offered them some supper; and while they were eating, we were so much interested, that we stood around questioning them about the result of the day. “It is all General Pemberton’s fault,” said a sergeant. “I’m a Missourian, and our boys stood it almost alone, not knowing what was wanted to be done; yet, fighting as long as possible, every one leaving us, and we were obliged to fall back. You know, madam, we Missourians always fight well, even if we have to retreat afterward.”

      “Oh!” spoke up an old man, “we would ha’ fit well; but General Pemberton came up and said: ‘Stand your ground, boys. Your General Pemberton is with you;’ and then, bless you, lady! the next we see’d of him, he was sitting on his horse behind a house — close, too, at that; and when we see’d that, we thought ’tain’t no use, if he’s going to sit there.”

      We could not help laughing at the old man’s tale and his anger. Afterward we were told that General Pemberton behaved with courage — that the fault lay in the arrangement of troops.

      And where these weary and wornout men were going, we could not tell. I think they did not know themselves.