THE COMEDY OF ERRORS. William Shakespeare
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ANGELO.
My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him,
That he din’d not at home, but was lock’d out.
DUKE.
But had he such a chain of thee, or no?
ANGELO.
He had, my lord: and when he ran in here
These people saw the chain about his neck.
MERCHANT.
Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine
Heard you confess you had the chain of him,
After you first forswore it on the mart,
And thereupon I drew my sword on you;
And then you fled into this abbey here,
From whence, I think, you are come by miracle.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
I never came within these abbey walls,
Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me:
I never saw the chain, so help me heaven!
And this is false you burden me withal.
DUKE.
What an intricate impeach is this!
I think you all have drunk of Circe’s cup.
If here you hous’d him, here he would have been:
If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly:—
You say he din’d at home: the goldsmith here
Denies that saying:—Sirrah, what say you?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porcupine.
COURTEZAN.
He did; and from my finger snatch’d that ring.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
‘Tis true, my liege; this ring I had of her.
DUKE.
Saw’st thou him enter at the abbey here?
COURTEZAN.
As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.
DUKE.
Why, this is strange:—Go call the abbess hither:
I think you are all mated, or stark mad.
[Exit an Attendant.]
AEGEON.
Most mighty Duke, vouchsafe me speak a word;
Haply, I see a friend will save my life
And pay the sum that may deliver me.
DUKE.
Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.
AEGEON.
Is not your name, sir, call’d Antipholus?
And is not that your bondman Dromio?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
Within this hour I was his bondman, sir,
But he, I thank him, gnaw’d in two my cords:
Now am I Dromio and his man unbound.
AEGEON.
I am sure you both of you remember me.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you;
For lately we were bound as you are now.
You are not Pinch’s patient, are you, sir?
AEGEON.
Why look you strange on me? you know me well.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
I never saw you in my life, till now.
AEGEON.
Oh! grief hath chang’d me since you saw me last;
And careful hours with Time’s deformed hand,
Have written strange defeatures in my face:
But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
Neither.
AEGEON.
Dromio, nor thou?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
No, trust me, sir, nor I.
AEGEON.
I am sure thou dost.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS. Ay, sir, but I am sure I do not; and whatsoever a man denies, you are now bound to believe him.
AEGEON.
Not know my voice! O time’s extremity!
Hast thou so crack’d and splitted my poor tongue,
In seven short years that here my only son
Knows not my feeble key of untun’d cares?
Though now this grained face of mine be hid
In sap-consuming winter’s drizzled snow,
And all the conduits of my blood froze up,
Yet hath my night of life some memory,
My wasting lamps some fading glimmer left,
My dull deaf ears a little use to hear:
All these old witnesses,—I cannot err,—
Tell me thou art my son Antipholus.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
I never saw my father in my life.
AEGEON.
But seven years since, in Syracusa, boy,
Thou know’st we parted; but perhaps, my son,
Thou sham’st to acknowledge me in misery.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.
The duke and all that know me in the city,
Can witness with me that it is not so:
I ne’er saw Syracusa in my life.
DUKE.
I tell thee, Syracusan, twenty years
Have I been patron to Antipholus,
During which time he ne’er saw Syracusa:
I see thy age and dangers make thee dote.
[Enter the ABBESS, with ANTIPHOLUS SYRACUSAN and DROMIO
SYRACUSAN.]
ABBESS.
Most mighty duke, behold a man much wrong’d.
[All gather to see them.]
ADRIANA.
I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.
DUKE.
One of these men is genius to the other;
And so of these. Which is the natural man,
And which the spirit? Who deciphers them?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
I, sir, am Dromio; command him away.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
I, sir, am Dromio; pray let me stay.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.
Aegeon, art thou not? or else his ghost?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
O, my old master! who hath bound him here?
ABBESS.
Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds,
And gain a husband by his liberty.—
Speak, old Aegeon, if thou be’st the man
That hadst