TROILUS & CRESSIDA. William Shakespeare
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To overbulk us all.
NESTOR.
Well, and how?
ULYSSES.
This challenge that the gallant Hector sends,
However it is spread in general name,
Relates in purpose only to Achilles.
NESTOR.
True. The purpose is perspicuous even as substance
Whose grossness little characters sum up;
And, in the publication, make no strain
But that Achilles, were his brain as barren
As banks of Libya—though, Apollo knows,
‘Tis dry enough—will with great speed of judgment,
Ay, with celerity, find Hector’s purpose
Pointing on him.
ULYSSES.
And wake him to the answer, think you?
NESTOR.
Why, ‘tis most meet. Who may you else oppose
That can from Hector bring those honours off,
If not Achilles? Though ‘t be a sportful combat,
Yet in this trial much opinion dwells
For here the Troyans taste our dear’st repute
With their fin’st palate; and trust to me, Ulysses,
Our imputation shall be oddly pois’d
In this vile action; for the success,
Although particular, shall give a scantling
Of good or bad unto the general;
And in such indexes, although small pricks
To their subsequent volumes, there is seen
The baby figure of the giant mas
Of things to come at large. It is suppos’d
He that meets Hector issues from our choice;
And choice, being mutual act of all our souls,
Makes merit her election, and doth boil,
As ‘twere from forth us all, a man distill’d
Out of our virtues; who miscarrying,
What heart receives from hence a conquering part,
To steel a strong opinion to themselves?
Which entertain’d, limbs are his instruments,
In no less working than are swords and bows
Directive by the limbs.
ULYSSES.
Give pardon to my speech.
Therefore ‘tis meet Achilles meet not Hector.
Let us, like merchants, show our foulest wares
And think perchance they’ll sell; if not, the lustre
Of the better yet to show shall show the better,
By showing the worst first. Do not consent
That ever Hector and Achilles meet;
For both our honour and our shame in this
Are dogg’d with two strange followers.
NESTOR.
I see them not with my old eyes. What are they?
ULYSSES.
What glory our Achilles shares from Hector,
Were he not proud, we all should wear with him;
But he already is too insolent;
And it were better parch in Afric sun
Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes,
Should he scape Hector fair. If he were foil’d,
Why, then we do our main opinion crush
In taint of our best man. No, make a lott’ry;
And, by device, let blockish Ajax draw
The sort to fight with Hector. Among ourselves
Give him allowance for the better man;
For that will physic the great Myrmidon,
Who broils in loud applause, and make him fall
His crest, that prouder than blue Iris bends.
If the dull brainless Ajax come safe off,
We’ll dress him up in voices; if he fail,
Yet go we under our opinion still
That we have better men. But, hit or miss,
Our project’s life this shape of sense assumes—
Ajax employ’d plucks down Achilles’ plumes.
NESTOR.
Now, Ulysses, I begin to relish thy advice;
And I will give a taste thereof forthwith
To Agamemnon. Go we to him straight.
Two curs shall tame each other: pride alone
Must tarre the mastiffs on, as ‘twere their bone.
[Exeunt.]
ACT II.
SCENE 1. The Grecian camp
[Enter Ajax and THERSITES.]
AJAX.
Thersites!
THERSITES.
Agamemnon—how if he had boils full, an over, generally?
AJAX.
Thersites!
THERSITES. And those boils did run—say so. Did not the general run then? Were not that a botchy core?
AJAX.
Dog!
THERSITES.
Then there would come some matter from him;
I see none now.
AJAX.
Thou bitch-wolf’s son, canst thou not hear? Feel, then.
[Strikes him.]
THERSITES. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord!
AJAX. Speak, then, thou whinid’st leaven, speak. I will beat thee into handsomeness.
THERSITES. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness; but I think thy horse will sooner con an oration than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst thou? A red murrain o’ thy jade’s tricks!
AJAX.
Toadstool, learn me the proclamation.
THERSITES.
Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus?
AJAX.
The proclamation!
THERSITES.
Thou art proclaim’d, a fool, I think.
AJAX.
Do not, porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.
THERSITES. I would thou didst itch from head to foot and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another.
AJAX.