A Pair of Blue Eyes. Томас Харди
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‘Elfride, you sometimes say things which make you seem suddenly to become five years older than you are, or than I am; and that remark is one. I couldn’t think so OLD as that, try how I might. … And no lover has ever kissed you before?’
‘Never.’
‘I knew that; you were so unused. You ride well, but you don’t kiss nicely at all; and I was told once, by my friend Knight, that that is an excellent fault in woman.’
‘Now, come; I must mount again, or we shall not be home by dinner-time.’ And they returned to where Pansy stood tethered. ‘Instead of entrusting my weight to a young man’s unstable palm,’ she continued gaily, ‘I prefer a surer “upping-stock” (as the villagers call it), in the form of a gate. There—now I am myself again.’
They proceeded homeward at the same walking pace.
Her blitheness won Stephen out of his thoughtfulness, and each forgot everything but the tone of the moment.
‘What did you love me for?’ she said, after a long musing look at a flying bird.
‘I don’t know,’ he replied idly.
‘Oh yes, you do,’ insisted Elfride.
‘Perhaps, for your eyes.’
‘What of them?—now, don’t vex me by a light answer. What of my eyes?’
‘Oh, nothing to be mentioned. They are indifferently good.’
‘Come, Stephen, I won’t have that. What did you love me for?’
‘It might have been for your mouth?’
‘Well, what about my mouth?’
‘I thought it was a passable mouth enough——’
‘That’s not very comforting.’
‘With a pretty pout and sweet lips; but actually, nothing more than what everybody has.’
‘Don’t make up things out of your head as you go on, there’s a dear Stephen. Now—what—did—you—love—me—for?’
‘Perhaps, ’twas for your neck and hair; though I am not sure: or for your idle blood, that did nothing but wander away from your cheeks and back again; but I am not sure. Or your hands and arms, that they eclipsed all other hands and arms; or your feet, that they played about under your dress like little mice; or your tongue, that it was of a dear delicate tone. But I am not altogether sure.’
‘Ah, that’s pretty to say; but I don’t care for your love, if it made a mere flat picture of me in that way, and not being sure, and such cold reasoning; but what you FELT I was, you know, Stephen’ (at this a stealthy laugh and frisky look into his face), ‘when you said to yourself, “I’ll certainly love that young lady.” ’
‘I never said it.’
‘When you said to yourself, then, “I never will love that young lady.” ’
‘I didn’t say that, either.’
‘Then was it, “I suppose I must love that young lady?” ’
‘No.’
‘What, then?’
‘’Twas much more fluctuating—not so definite.’
‘Tell me; do, do.’
‘It was that I ought not to think about you if I loved you truly.’
‘Ah, that I don’t understand. There’s no getting it out of you. And I’ll not ask you ever any more—never more—to say out of the deep reality of your heart what you loved me for.’
‘Sweet tantalizer, what’s the use? It comes to this sole simple thing: That at one time I had never seen you, and I didn’t love you; that then I saw you, and I did love you. Is that enough?’
‘Yes; I will make it do. … I know, I think, what I love you for. You are nice-looking, of course; but I didn’t mean for that. It is because you are so docile and gentle.’
‘Those are not quite the correct qualities for a man to be loved for,’ said Stephen, in rather a dissatisfied tone of self-criticism. ‘Well, never mind. I must ask your father to allow us to be engaged directly we get indoors. It will be for a long time.’
‘I like it the better. … Stephen, don’t mention it till to-morrow.’
‘Why?’
‘Because, if he should object—I don’t think he will; but if he should—we shall have a day longer of happiness from our ignorance. … Well, what are you thinking of so deeply?’
‘I was thinking how my dear friend Knight would enjoy this scene. I wish he could come here.’
‘You seem very much engrossed with him,’ she answered, with a jealous little toss. ‘He must be an interesting man to take up so much of your attention.’
‘Interesting!’ said Stephen, his face glowing with his fervour; ‘noble, you ought to say.’
‘Oh yes, yes; I forgot,’ she said half satirically. ‘The noblest man in England, as you told us last night.’
‘He is a fine fellow, laugh as you will, Miss Elfie.’
‘I know he is your hero. But what does he do? anything?’
‘He writes.’
‘What does he write? I have never heard of his name.’
‘Because his personality, and that of several others like him, is absorbed into a huge WE, namely, the impalpable entity called the PRESENT—a social and literary Review.’
‘Is he only a reviewer?’
‘ONLY, Elfie! Why, I can tell you it is a fine thing to be on the staff of the PRESENT. Finer than being a novelist considerably.’
‘That’s a hit at me, and my poor COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE.’
‘No, Elfride,’ he whispered; ‘I didn’t mean that. I mean that he is really a literary man of some eminence, and not altogether a reviewer. He writes things of a higher class than reviews, though he reviews a book occasionally. His ordinary productions are social and ethical essays—all that the PRESENT contains which is not literary reviewing.’
‘I admit he must be talented if he writes for the PRESENT. We have it sent to us irregularly. I want papa to be a subscriber, but he’s so conservative. Now the next point in this Mr. Knight—I suppose he is a very good man.’
‘An excellent man. I shall try to be his intimate friend some day.’
‘But aren’t you now?’
‘No; not so much as that,’ replied Stephen, as if such a supposition were extravagant. ‘You see, it was in this way—he came originally from the same place as I, and taught me things; but I am not intimate with him. Shan’t I be glad when I get richer and better known, and hob and nob with him!’ Stephen’s eyes sparkled.
A pout began to shape itself upon Elfride’s soft lips. ‘You think always of him, and like him better than you do me!’
‘No, indeed, Elfride. The feeling is different quite. But I do like him, and he deserves even more affection from me than I give.’
‘You are not nice now, and you make me as jealous as possible!’ she exclaimed perversely. ‘I know you will never speak to any third person of me so warmly as you do to me of him.’
‘But you don’t understand, Elfride,’ he said with an anxious movement. ‘You shall know him some day. He is so brilliant—no, it isn’t exactly brilliant; so thoughtful—nor does thoughtful express him—that it would charm you to talk to him.