The Prosperity & Wealth Bible. Kahlil Gibran
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and the insects, as we know to our cost. Some of us are magnetic — others not. Some of us are warm, attractive, love inspiring and friendship making, while others are cold, intellectual, thoughtful, reasoning, but not magnetic. Let a learned man of the latter type address an audience and it will soon tire of his intellectual discourse, and will manifest symptoms of drowsiness. He talks at them, but not into them — he makes them think, not feel, which is most tiresome to the majority of persons, and few speakers succeed who attempt to merely make people think — they want to be made to feel. People will pay liberally to be made to feel or laugh, while they will begrudge a dime for instruction or talk that will make them think. Pitted against a learned man of the type mentioned above, let there be a half-educated, but very loving, ripe and mellow man, with but nine-tenths of the logic and erudition of the first man, yet such a man carries along his crowd with perfect ease, and everybody is wide-awake, treasuring up every good thing that falls from his lips. The reasons are palpable and plain. It is heart against head; soul against logic; and is bound to win every time.”
If you will notice the man and woman who are considered the most “magnetic,” you will find that almost invariably they are people who have what is called “soul” about them — that is, they manifest and induce “feeling,” or emotion. They manifest traits of character and nature similar to that manifested by actors and actresses. They throw out a part of themselves, which seems to affect those coming in contact with them. Notice a non-magnetic actor, and you will see that although he may be letter perfect in his part, and may have acquired the proper mannerisms, gestures and other technical parts of his art, still he lacks a “certain something,” and that something may be seen to be the ability to communicate “feeling.” Now, those who are in the secret know full well that many of the successful actors, who seem to burn with passion, feeling and emotion on the stage, really feel but little of these qualities while acting — they are like phonographs, giving off sounds that have been registered in them. But if you will investigate still further, you will see that in studying their parts and practicing the same privately, these people induced a stimulated emotion, such as the part called for, and held it firmly in their minds, accompanying it with the appropriate gestures, etc., until it became firmly “set” there — impressed upon the tablets of the mentality as the record of a phonograph is likewise impressed upon the wax. Then, when afterward they played the part, the outward semblance of the feelings, with the motions, gestures, emphasis, etc., reproduced itself and impressed the audience. It is said that if an actor allows himself to be actually carried away with his part so that he feels the same keenly, the result will not be advantageous, for he is overcome with the feeling and its effect is upon himself rather than upon his audience. The best result is said to be obtained when one has first experienced and felt the emotion, and then afterward reproduces it in the manner above stated, without allowing it to control him.
We mention the above facts for the use of those who do not naturally possess the faculty or quality of Personal magnetism to the required degree. Such people will find it to their advantage to endeavor to work up the desired feeling of Enthusiastic Earnestness, in private, fixing the mental impression by frequent private rehearsals and practice, until it becomes registered in their “habit mind,” to be reproduced upon occasions when needed. Be a good actor — that is the advice in such cases; and remember this, that frequent practice and private rehearsal makes the good actor. It is a far better thing to be able to induce feeling and enthusiasm in this way, rather than be lacking of it, on the one hand; or to be an “emotional inebriate” on the other hand. One may be rationally Enthusiastically Earnest, without being filled full of “slushy gush” or maudlin emotionalism. We think that the careful student will see just what is meant here, and will not misunderstand us. And remember, that through this repeated “acting” the desired quality will often become real and “natural.”
Lesson 9 — Attractive Personality
We have explained in our lesson on “Individuality” that what is known, as the “Personality” was not the real “I” of the Individual, but that instead it formed the “Me” part of oneself — the outward appearance of the Individual. As we have told you, the word Personality really means the “mask” aspect of the Individual, the outward appearance of the part in the great drama of life that he is playing. And just as the actor may change his mask and costume, so may the Individual change, alter and replace his Personality by other features found desirable.
But nevertheless, while the Personality is not the real “I,” it plays an important part in the drama of life, particularly as the audience pays more attention to the Personality, as a rule, than it does to the real Individual behind the mask. And so it is proper that every Individual should cultivate and acquire a Personality that will prove attractive to his audience, and render him acceptable to them. No, we are not preaching deception — we regard Individuality as the Real Self, and believe that one should build himself up to his highest and best according to the laws of Individual Unfoldment — but, nevertheless, so long as one must wear a Personality about him as he goes through life, we believe that it is not only to his advantage, but is also his duty to make that Personality as pleasing and attractive as he is able to. You know that no matter how good, intelligent and high-minded a man may be, if he wears the mask of an unattractive and unpleasant Personality he is placed at a disadvantage, and drives away people whom he might benefit and who would be glad to love him if they could see behind his unattractive mask.
Nor are we speaking of one’s personal physical appearance when we speak of unattractive and attractive masks. While one’s physical appearance goes a good way in some cases, there is a charm of Personality that far transcends that fleeting appearance. There are many persons having beautiful faces and forms whose personality is far from charming, and who repel rather than attract. And there are others whose faces are homely and whose forms are far from shapely, who have, nevertheless, that “winning way about them” that attracts others to them. There are people whom we are always glad to see, and whose charm of manner makes us forget that they are not beautiful, in fact, even their homely faces seem to become transfigured when we are in their presence. That is what we meant by Personality, in the same way in which we are now using it. It bears a very close relationship to “Personal Magnetism,” of which we spoke of in our preceding lesson.
One of the first things that should be cultivated by those wishing to develop the Charm of Personality is a mental atmosphere of Cheerfulness. There is nothing so invigorating as the presence of a cheerful person — nothing so dispiriting as one of those Human Wet Blankets that cast a chill over everyone and everything with whom they come in contact. Think of your acquaintances and you will find that you will naturally place them in two classes — the Cheerful ones and the Gloomy ones. Sunny Jim is always preferred to Gloomy Gus — the one you will welcome, and the other you will fly from. The Japanese understand this law of Personality, and one of the first things that they teach their children is to preserve a cheerful, sunny exterior, no matter if their hearts are breaking. With them it is considered one of the most flagrant offenses against good form to carry their sorrows, grief and pain into the presence of others. They reserve that side of their life for the privacy of their own chamber — to the outside world they present always a happy, sunny smile. And in this they are wise, for a number of reasons (1) that they may induce a more buoyant and positive state of mind in themselves; (2) that they may attract cheerful persons and things to them by the Law of Attraction; and (3) that they may present an attractive Personality to others, and thereby be welcome and congenial associates and participants in the work of life. There is little welcome or help for the Gloomy Gus tribe in everyday business life — they are avoided as a pestilence — everyone has troubles enough of his own without those of other people added thereto. Remember the old lines:
Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Weep and you weep alone.
For this sad old earth is in need of mirth,
And has troubles enough of its own.
So cultivate the Smile that Won’t Come Off. It is a valuable asset of Personality. Not the silly, idiotic grin, but the Smile that means something — the Real Thing. And such a smile comes from within, and is more than skin deep. If you want a Verbal Pattern upon