ACT ONE - AT THE OFFICE

      SCENE: Office with desk and several chairs. Brian sits working at desk. Enter Alf brandishing a letter.

      ALF: Brian, have you seen this letter?

      BRIAN: What letter?

      ALF: The old man himself has written to me.

      BRIAN: To you? You’re kidding.

      ALF: In five years I’ve never received a letter from ‘on high’.

      BRIAN: It must be a mistake.

      ALF: No, no. I’ve been invited to a conference.

      BRIAN: You? To a conference?

      ALF: A conference for high potential managers.

      BRIAN: Then it’s definitely a mistake.

      ALF: Why?

      BRIAN: (snatching letter and reading) Give it to me. ‘Dear Colleagues’. This is not addressed to you! Nowhere does it say ‘Dear Alfred’ or ‘Mr Adler’.

      ALF: My name is on the envelope.

      BRIAN: But the letter is not addressed to you personally.

      ALF: (retrievingletter) Give it back. (Reads)“Congratulations, you have been selected from a large number of candidates to attend the Advanced Management Conference…”

      BRIAN: Why ‘advanced’? How can management be ‘advanced’?

      ALF: Perhaps it’s for junior managers like me who want to be…

      BRIAN: Senior managers?

      ALF: Well, I don’t want to be a junior manager forever.

      BRIAN: You’re not a junior manager. You’re a clerk who tells other clerks what to do.

      ALF: But that’s important.

      BRIAN: Our managers make it difficult for people to do their jobs. Is that important?

      ALF: (shakes his head and returns to letter) “The conference will run for five challenging days when you will be educated in the latest theories of management.”