The Success Lie. Janelle Bruland
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over many years. We never intended to end up in an estranged relationship or divorce. It happened through small decisions, where the most important person in our lives was put in the back seat and other things moved to the forefront. We wanted to be there for all of the growing up moments of our kids, but work got in the way and now they are graduating.
In many areas of our lives, we were just cruising along automatically, and 20 – 30 years later found ourselves in completely different places than where we ever wanted to be.
To illustrate how much even the smallest misstep can have a large effect over time, let’s look at flying an airplane, where precision is an absolute must. Here are some interesting stats about flying just one degree off course:
1 For every degree you fly off course, you will miss your target by 92 feet for every mile that you fly.
2 For every 60 miles you fly, you will miss your target by one mile.
3 When flying from JFK to LAX it will put you nearly 50 miles away from your destination.
4 When flying around the equator you will land almost 500 miles off target.5
A one-degree mistake may not seem like a big deal, but when you can see the potential of the enormous impact, it causes you to pay attention. Though you may have tolerated automatic living in the past, becoming aware of it and realizing how easy it is to get off course will make you more attentive to your actions going forward.
Choose to be Intentional
Instead of living on automatic, we can choose intentional living.
In the services company I lead, one of our core values is continuous improvement in everything we do. In order to improve, there must be growth. At times throughout our 23 years of business, growing our people and our company seemed easy, almost automatic. However, looking back it wasn’t automatic, but a result of intentional effort.
John Maxwell, in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, reminds us of the need for intentionality in order to improve. “When we are children, our bodies grow automatically. A year goes by, and we become taller, stronger, and more capable of doing new things and facing new challenges. I think many people carry into adulthood a subconscious belief that mental, spiritual, and emotional growth follows a similar pattern. Time goes by, and we simply get better.” 6
Individuals don’t improve automatically, and companies don’t improve automatically. They improve only as the result of intentional effort.
This is not the case. Individuals don’t improve automatically, and companies don’t improve automatically. They improve only as the result of intentional effort. In my business, matching our core value of continuous improvement, we seek team members with a passion for learning and growth, and commit to providing training opportunities to ensure they are constantly growing. We are intentional about regularly evaluating our company performance. Through evaluation processes such as a company SWOT (a brainstorming session where your team lists strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats), we identify areas for improvement, then develop a strategy and goals to keep moving the company forward.
Without the same level of intentionality in our personal lives, we can drift backward rather than improve and grow.
Much of our Behavior is Unconscious
Sigmund Freud, the Austrian neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis in the early 1900s, thoroughly explored the human mind and was one of the first scholars to talk about the power of the conscious and unconscious.7 According to Freud’s model, the unconscious mind is the primary guiding influence over daily life and leads to the most common of our human behaviors. It is far more powerful than the conscious mind, which consists of all of the mental processes of which we are aware.
Living on automatic is the result of this unconscious behavior, which will eventually lead to the habits or routines that control much of what we do.
Living on automatic is the result of this unconscious behavior, which will eventually lead to the habits or routines that control much of what we do. Whenever we do something over and over again, eventually it will be something that we do with ease, and without giving it much thought. As an example, think about your drive home from work every day. As creatures of habit, we will likely take the very same route home day after day without giving it any thought. When I moved to a different house in my town, there were several times over the first few weeks where I found myself ending up on the street at my old address.
Have you ever rearranged the drawers in your kitchen and found yourself going to the old silverware drawer about ten times until you finally trained your brain as to where the new drawer is? You get the idea.
These automatic behaviors result in habits which can either be good habits or more often, bad habits that lead us over time to the places we don’t want to go and the life we don’t want to lead. We will talk more about how to establish good habits and routines later in the book.
Identify Where You are Living on Automatic
There are seven main areas of life that you need to focus on and bring together in order to grow and reach your maximum potential.
They are:
Physical – Your Health
Mental – Your Mind, Personal Growth
Spiritual – Your Values
Family & Friends – Your Relationships
Career/Business – Your Professional Life
Financial – Your Money
Fun & Recreation – Your Hobbies
Zig Ziglar, well known for Ziglar’s Wheel of Life, speaks about the main areas of your life as spokes on a wheel. Most of the “bumps” we experience in life are not due to the road, but the lack of attention to certain areas in our life which can make us off balance.
Think of each of these life areas as a place on the wheel. Together they make up a circle of your life. As you review each of these, where do you find your wheel full and round, and what areas need some help? A Life Wheel Exercise is included at the end of this chapter. Take time to utilize this effective tool to help you evaluate the 7 main areas of your life.
1. Physical
This area of your life focuses on your health and well-being. We only have one body and when it is not properly cared for, it can affect all of the other areas of our life. Yet, it is one of the top areas that is neglected. Like a car that needs to be regularly fueled and maintained to function properly, so do our bodies, or they will break down.
2. Mental
This area of your life focuses on the state of your mind as well as your personal growth. What are you doing to learn and grow? As we highlighted earlier in the chapter, mental growth does not happen automatically but as a result of intentional effort.
Entrepreneurs, CEOs and executives often find themselves so focused on growing and developing their teams, that they stop taking the time to develop themselves. When is the last time you took time out for yourself to take a class to improve on a skill, or learn something new?
3. Spiritual
This area of your life is your “Why.” I believe we were created on purpose, for a purpose, and each of us needs to determine what that is. This begins with identifying your personal values – what is most important to you. We will talk more about the importance of our personal values in Chapter 5 – The Juggling Act. Often, we fall into the trap of living for someone else’s values – perhaps our parents, a significant other, or a boss. When we are not sure of and living true to our own values, this will result in a sense of lacking in this area of your life.
For me, my faith has been an integral part of my life, has given me direction, and carried me through the difficult times. There have been situations where I didn’t know how I would have