You Must Remember This. Michael Bazzett
Читать онлайн книгу.heard the staccato
footfalls of my brother
and his curious gait.
The door burst open
with a gust of cold:
A bus! he said. Huge
as the sperm whale!
The mirror of my soul
is a crosstown bus!
My father smiled,
Good for you, Jeffrey!
His face was frank
as an open sail. Then
he looked at me and
mouthed these words:
The steam that blows the whistle
never turns the wheel.
Now that I am a man,
I can clearly recall
how snow sifted sideways
through the air, how
I never had a brother,
how my father yearned
to be elsewhere, how
I longed to board that
crosstown bus and sit
quiet in the weak light,
using a stubby pencil
to draw the curious
members of my new
family, smiling there
on those paper napkins.
Your humor is deft and cutting
my fingers off one by one,
she said as we left the party.
I started up the car and said:
Every joke holds one blade inside
the breast pocket of its coat
to open things and liberate
the world of unremembered light.
This exchange took place without words.
A snowbank leapt into the headlights.
The car seemed to know the way home.
Until that moment I had been waiting
to put my mouth over her mouth
and breathe the ferment of the evening.
This might have led to touching
the soft parts of our bodies together.
Instead we fell asleep, tongues
heavy in our mouths like fish.
When They Meet, They Can’t Help It
His obsession is a cart drawn by muscled oxen
over rain-softened roads. Salt marsh spreads evenly
on either side. Reeds stir like fine hair in the breeze.
The land seems flattened by the heat. The wheels
crush white bits of shell into densely packed mud.
Her obsession is a small animal gathering seed husks
in tunnels beneath the snow. The owl listens for the
dry scrape and scuttle. The bird blinks once as the
animal stills. The images collide here, in this moment.
The cart on the road is real. It exists in the resolute now,
drawing sand toward a work site near Dakar, where the
driver will sell it cheaply to make substandard cement.
The owl and the small animal are real as well, moving
through boreal forest in Siberia, they possess a reality
of sinew and ligature, of worn tooth and cracked beak.
Without these images, neither obsession could be seen.
The man lives to deepen grooves. The woman offers
motionless chill to mask her alertness. He is attracted
to this stillness at the coffee shop, sensing the appetite
through faint chemical signals that stir both arousal
and fear—if pressed, he could name neither impulse.
His persistence seems to her a steadiness that could
calm. Conversation over coffee leads to a coupling
neither can quite believe, a coupling in which they
open like strange flowers. In the emptiness afterward,
while the silence holds, he thinks of what they’ve done
and is aroused once again. It seems that he will do this
forever, in and out of years, until she is an old woman.
She looks at the ceiling and wonders, What’s the sound
skittering across the roof? A cloudburst? A raccoon?
If either speaks, this will come to an end. These things
are fragile. Yet just as he opens his mouth, an airliner
thunders overhead. It cancels all sound and saves them.
The night is not a hole
to fill with your thoughts.
It is not a sock to stuff
deep in the gob of morning
and hope the sun has
soiled itself there on the couch
where it collapsed after the gin.
The sun can be so tiresome.
The night is not a black dog
snuffling around the muskrats.
The night refuses to stumble
through Byzantine circuits
like loose electricity. The night
has no limbs. It never stutters
or grabs. It settles in like
a headache: there before
you know it then a pressing
darkness stained with light
and you wish you’d taken
that handful of crumbling
white pills before it came.
When they lead you into the room with the blind man
and let him drag his hands across the landscape of your face
so that you can smell his old skin and those yellow nails
that have begun to curl like claws, you will stand straight
and still and swallow your revulsion back into your throat
because once he has