A client and Gio work together out of their comfort zones

      Organisations have a range of people, from those who thrive on a challenge to those who resist change and refuse to do anything new, and those in the middle who are trying hard to adapt but get stressed in the process. The group in the middle will flip in and out of being willing and resistant. They may push through their resistance to get results, but may get overwhelmed in the process. When you recognise who in your team is comfortable with uncertainty and who is not, you can support people better.

      When we operate repeatedly out of our comfort zone without time and space to reflect and recharge, we get stressed and overwhelmed. When you develop self-awareness and have confidence in your leadership, you can develop the knowledge that even when you feel unskilled, you are still capable of leading effectively. You can reduce the stress of uncertainty by increasing self-confidence and self-belief, as well as by becoming more comfortable with not knowing the answers.

       What can you count on yourself for in uncertainty?

       What do you know that is true about you no matter what happens – whether you are the CEO of a global bank or homeless in the street?

      Our identity is caught up in the roles that we play. If I do a good job, there is an implication that it makes me a good person. If I’m made redundant, I am somehow less of a person, less worthy, but we are not the roles that we play and the jobs that we do.

      We are rewarded on what we do, who we are and how we show up, but the integrity of our humanity doesn’t change with how well we do our job. The world is changing and people need more than results and numbers. Results and numbers benefit only a select few. Purpose, meaning, connection to self and humanity have enormous value, too.

       Suppressing emotions

      When things are uncertain, emotions run high. To squash emotions and pretend they don’t exist denies us the full human experience and ignores the wisdom that guides effective decision-making. Ignoring your emotions increases stress and leads to overwhelm. When we make emotions wrong in business, we hold that it’s not ok to be angry or scared or anxious because it’s “unprofessional”. All those emotions we have as part of the natural human experience are shut down because we’ve deemed them to be inappropriate in the workplace.

      Emotions have been made wrong in business because people use them in an unskilled way. The unskilled usage of emotions comes from a lack of practice.

      If you regularly stifle your emotions and don’t allow yourself to express them in the moment, your emotions will explode at an inappropriate moment in a less professional way. We’ve probably all experienced explosions of emotion in the office. When horses suppress their emotions, they become unpredictable and explosive, and that makes them dangerous. We all have moments of unskilled behaviour with emotions as most people have not been trained to use them in a powerful way throughout their life. From as early as being a toddler, you learn that it’s not appropriate to have a tantrum in the middle of a supermarket just because you can’t have your own way. In the process, we learn to adopt a new behaviour – that of withholding emotion, which leads to the ultimate explosion at an untimely moment.

      Anger builds up when we suppress frustration over a period of time and pretend it’s not happening. When your emotion says “I’m feeling frustrated”, it’s just information. Be curious. Why are you frustrated? Frustration indicates unmet needs and desires. Instead of being frustrated and letting it build out of proportion, ask for what you want. The frustration can guide you more powerfully to make effective decisions and meet your needs if you are curious about it as a source of information instead of suppressing it.

      Anger often comes from unresolved frustration that has been suppressed repeatedly over time. The quicker you resolve minor frustrations and disagreements, the less likely it is that they will grow out of proportion and out of control. Your emotions tell you what wants to happen.

       What emotion are you suppressing and what impact is that having?

      Uncertainty increases our emotions. The self-awareness required to manage your emotions grows exponentially alongside the volume of pressure that you are subjected to. The more pressure you feel, the harder it is to manage your emotions. That’s why it’s important to create a culture where people feel comfortable expressing their needs so that there is no need to resort to unskilled explosions.

      Emotion is a way of expressing a desire that is met or unmet. If you allow yourself to feel the emotion and become curious about it, you can use it as a source of wisdom to understand what you want to create.

      Organisations are full of people who are disengaged. Yes, they work hard, yes they are driven, yes they deliver. But why?

      Many people I meet love their job and may love their business but feel under excessive pressure to perform. They are driven by fear of failure or fear of getting it wrong, fear of not being good enough, missing out on the next promotion or being made redundant. Yet they are afraid to be explicit about this level of pressure for fear of the consequences.

       Are your team coming with you through fear or because they are engaged?

       How do you know?

      One is leadership, the other is not. While people may be driven by fear, horses will not. They will refuse to cooperate until you engage them through relationship, clarity and a sense of purpose.

      The future of business depends on creating a culture where people can be truly human. If you overlook the humanity and strive only for results and financial returns, people eventually lose focus and disengage. Emotions are therefore critical to the engagement of your team.

       Case study – client team

       The team had pushed themselves so far beyond their limits that they were exhausted. As soon as they walked through the gate, the horses all lay down in the field. I asked the clients how they felt. Initially they all said they were fine. It was a standard response. They were used to coping and carrying