“It is the growling man who lives a dog’s life.”

      ~ Coleman Cox

      If you have been in business for any length of time, you have dealt with an angry client. It may be due to personal issues, the client’s mental health, a full moon, or one of a hundred other reasons. But the cold fact of the matter is that when you deal with the public, some of those people are going to be angry.

      Is it up to you to solve the angry client’s problem or meet his or her needs? Maybe not. Are all angry clients toxic? Not necessarily. They may be justified in their anger, and by employing some of the strategies we will discuss here, you can work toward building a more productive relationship.

      But some angry people are displaying the first indications of toxicity. And once you learn how to recognize that, you can send them on their way.

      Case No. 3: The Dermatologist

      The shrill woman on the other end of the telephone line was angry and abusive. She was enraged about not being able to book an appointment at the dermatologist’s office.

      Dr. Sarah Adams shared her practice with three other dermatologists. Their typical client was a woman between the ages of 30 and 50 who was seeking cosmetic services such as Botox and collagen treatments, facials, chemical peels, and laser hair removal. These clients came in because they wanted to look younger, healthier and more attractive.

      Dr. Adams’ husband, Kenny Adams, helped manage the office. So on this day, when the receptionist finally couldn’t take any more screaming from the angry woman on the phone, she put the woman on hold and asked Kenny to deal with the caller who was demanding to be seen because she had a wart, and wouldn’t accept that the office was booked two months in advance.

      Adams picked up the call and calmly explained to the angry woman that he was the office manager and that an appointment could only be made when there was an opening. Unfortunately, he said, the doctors in this office were in high demand. He encouraged her to call around to see if another dermatologist could see her sooner.

      “No, I want to see Dr. Adams!” she screamed. Then she began insulting Kenny, calling him “ridiculous,” “stubborn,” and “unprofessional.”

      Kenny managed to control his temper, realizing that directing anger back at her would certainly not help the situation. But his calm demeanor only resulted in further torrents of insults.

      After several minutes of listening calmly to the woman, Kenny employed a firm tone and said, “Ma’am, I can’t help you if you yell and scream at me or call me abusive names. We don’t book appointments for people who act in an angry or abusive manner.”

      “Yes, sir!” said the woman, sarcastically.

      “We treat our patients with respect, and we expect the same thing in return,” Kenny continued.

      “Yes, sir!” she repeated.

      It was at this point that Kenny realized this was a lost cause. She was a Toxic Client who behaved irrationally. He decided not to proceed with helping her. “If you can’t schedule an appointment with another doctor, call us back,” Kenny told her. “But this doesn’t sound like an emergency, so we can only give you the next available opening.”

      At this, the woman hung up. Kenny never heard from her again.

      The previous story illustrates an important first step for dealing with an angry client: Listen calmly.

      As tempting as it might be to avoid angry clients (“Maybe if I ignore it or walk away, the client will cool off”) it is not a useful business strategy. The client may cool off momentarily, but it doesn’t eliminate the problem. It only postpones it. And if he or she doesn’t cool off, you risk that client filing complaints or spreading bad word-of-mouth. While positive word-of-mouth is great for business, negative word-of-mouth gets spread at a far greater rate, and is downright damaging to your company. You want to avoid it, but sometimes with a Toxic Client – you just can’t.

      Was Kenny Adams’ caller justified in her anger? No. Was Kenny’s response, to calmly listen, the right one? Absolutely. The soundest business advice is to deal with angry clients right away, to do what you can to rectify the situation before you potentially lose business. Of course, Kenny’s angry caller could very well go disparage the dermatology practice to all her friends. There’s nothing he can do about that. But he can rest easy in the knowledge that he did what he could to address and solve the problem. That’s all any of us can do.

      The first step is empathy. Often, the biggest part of anger is frustration at not being heard or understood. Stand in their shoes for a moment. If appropriate, say that you understand why they are upset and that you would be upset too in such a situation. Listen, maintain eye contact, and without any other distraction be attentive to their personal matter.

      Empathy has a way of defusing anger. At this point, a reasonable person would think, “OK, good, at least someone gets how important this is to me.” If the person is still unreasonable, that’s a whole other issue.

      When people acknowledge that they’ve made mistakes and accept responsibility, others’ estimation of them tends to go up. We respect such actions. If a mistake has been made, simply saying, “I’m sorry” can go a long way toward impressing the client and eliminating some of that anger that’s being directed at you. If no mistake has been made the empathetic statement “I understand” can be very helpful.

      Let the client get it all out. Don’t be critical of a person’s anger or try to contain it, and don’t interrupt. Venting allows people to deflate the problem themselves. The client may come to realize they’ve blown it all out of proportion, and they will accept any resolution you offer. After venting the pent up anger will dissipate. So don’t discourage it or cut it off. Let the balloon of anger fully deflate.

      Once you’ve come to this point of the conversation, you can begin to deal with the issue. The first question you should ask is “What would you like me to do to help you?” It’s a simple question that is often overlooked, but it gets to the heart of problem-solving. It’s possible that the client doesn’t know what he or she wants you to do. Take this opportunity to clarify what’s really being requested and begin to solve the problem.

      Proceed calmly. Be the rational one. Explain the alternatives that are available to you that get closest to meeting the client’s needs. Ask questions. For instance, Kenny Adams might ask, “Can I take your number and call you if we have a cancellation?”, “I’m interested in knowing why you aren’t happy with any of our other doctors; how can I resolve that for you?”, or “Are you sure I can’t refer you to another great doctor with greater availability?”

      Here’s a situation that illustrates how effective this simple technique can be.

      Case No. 4: The Salesperson

      John Minden was Ellen Bay’s