How to Be a Financial Grownup. Bobbi Rebell
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Huge Inc.’s Aaron Shapiro
Chapter 9: Wealth and Wellness
• Well+Good’s Alexia Brue
Chapter 10: Educate Yourself, Then Others
• Mad Money’s Jim Cramer
• Author/Entrepreneur Tony Robbins
• Actor/Entrepreneur Drew Barrymore
FOREWORD
THE CAREFREE AND UNBRIDLED JOY OF A CHILD is a beautiful thing. It’s that enviable innocence that makes us smile. It’s their rightful, age-appropriate ignorance of the world’s challenges that allows us to revel in their happiness. Every child deserves this season of life, but as time goes on, if they don’t grow up emotionally and intellectually – if they continue in their childhood ignorance – they will experience the full breadth of life’s challenges. Contrary to popular belief, ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is pain. And in the category of personal finance, ignorance can mean poverty.
Unfortunately, financial grownups are rare in our society (for a whole host of complex reasons). This is not meant to be a condescending statement. It’s simply a fact of the state of affairs. Forty-six percent of Americans can’t cover a $400 emergency expense.1 Sadly, it’s taking a toll on our physical, emotional, and relational selves.
A recent Forbes article came across my desk with a frightening title: “1 in 4 Americans Have PTSD-Like Symptoms from Financial Stress.”2 As someone whose life’s work is committed to ending suffering, this makes me extremely frustrated. Frustrated because this is one area where people don’t have to suffer. We are living in a time when all the tools and information you need to make wise financial decisions are quite literally at your fingertips. So why are so many people stressed to the hilt?
Whether it’s your mind, your body, your relationships, or your finances, it’s rarely for lack of information that most people suffer, or stay in the rut of wanting to change but not being willing to do what it takes. Take weight loss, for example: There are more “how-to” diet books, supplements, and websites than ever, but over 50 percent of the U.S. population is considered overweight.
No matter the area of life, people suffer or don’t make the shifts they want to because they have embraced damaging stories: false narratives about themselves or their circumstances that inform their personal identities. I was 30 pounds overweight in my twenties, and my story was “I am big-boned.” Nonsense! There are no fat skeletons! The story was there as my excuse not to face the uncomfortable truth that I was simply fat.
When it comes to money and personal finance, I often hear stories like “I am not good with money,” or “I am not a numbers person,” or “money is evil,” or “money is not a worthwhile area to focus on.” These, too, are nonsense. Stories like these are the stumbling blocks of change. And most people feel the subconscious tension of wanting to change their circumstances, but the stories they cling to are taking over their minds like weeds choking out a garden.
When people want change in a specific area of life, the first thing I do is help them uncover the damaging stories they have been telling themselves. I want them to begin to question whether those stories are really true. Without shifting your story and embracing a new, empowering narrative, more information and tools won’t create lasting change.
In the pages ahead, Bobbi has done a wonderful job of laying the groundwork for a new narrative for anyone willing to take the journey. If you picked up this book, it might be because you are sick of the story you’ve been telling yourself about money, and the time has come to make a shift. That’s a great place to be, as frustration is a launch pad to change. Or maybe you are simply in a phase of life where the pages are blank and you get to write your own financial grownup story. Either way, this book is a great place to begin.
So as you turn the next page, consider what new story you will write for yourself that will empower you and propel you on the road to financial freedom.
Live with Passion!
TONY ROBBINS
Author of the #1 New York Times
Bestseller Money: Master the Game and America’s #1 Life and Business Strategist
1. Tami Luhby, “76 Million Americans Are Struggling Financially or Just Getting By,” CNN Money, 10 June 2016.
2. Kate Ashford, “1 in 4 Americans Have PTSD-Like Symptoms from Financial Stress,” Forbes, 22 April 2016.
PREFACE: STORY TIME
EVERY NIGHT my eight-year old son and I read a story before he goes to bed. Sometimes it gets us talking about his day. Or my day. Or what happened at school. Or something he’s worried about. It starts a conversation. He asks questions, many that I can’t answer. We talk more. And then he sleeps on it.
Stories do that. They get us talking. They help us pay attention to things that matter. They help us remember lessons. They help us relate to one another. They bring us together.
Stories are the foundation of How to Be a Financial Grownup because I believe that nothing grabs a reader’s attention, and makes a lasting mark, like a compelling story.
When I started the process of asking successful people whom I admired about their experiences with money, I had no idea what to expect. What if they all said the same thing? That would make a terrible book. The project could easily crash and burn before it even got off the ground. Even worse, what if they didn’t even want to participate?
As you’ll see when you start to turn the pages, the very opposite happened. Each and every one of the extraordinary Role Models shared unique experiences. Who knew that a personal finance book would have stories that included a sex scandal, repeated battles with cancer, and tales of living out of a car? You’ll read the incredible stories of Role Models who experienced these things and many more that will surprise you. Money is messy. Success is not a straight line to the top. Even the Role Models, some of the most successful people out there, have had their unexpected setbacks.
It was also important to be honest and transparent about the reality that we don’t all begin at the same starting line. I believe that we can learn just as much from the born-rich Role Models, such as Ivanka Trump and Sir Martin Sorrell, as we can from the extraordinary rags-to-riches tale of a Role Model such as Tony Robbins, who at one point in his childhood didn’t even have food to eat. Many a scion has blown their fortune or, even worse, lived an irrelevant life. The accomplishments of those who get a head start can be just as instructive and inspiring as those who start with nothing.
THE PROCESS
I wanted to make the interviews simple and fun for the Role Models, so I asked them just two questions:
What was your financial grownup moment?
What is the lesson from that, or one that you want to share?
A financial grownup moment is that moment when you realize that if you don’t pay attention to money, you’ll never have the financial freedom to live your dreams.
The questions were asked by different means. Some were in person, some were over the phone, and some were by email. I promised everyone that their contributions would be treated as quotes, and would be included in the book as is. No edits would be made without their consent, and even then would only be made in extreme circumstances. I gave no parameters. Some answers came in short and sweet. Some were a bit long. But they are all unedited and genuine.
The Role Models I selected to interview included a mix of business types. Some I had formed a connection with after interviewing them at Reuters. I looked for companies and individuals who had a strong interest in promoting financial literacy. Many were people whom I knew were doing extraordinary things in their fields, and I reached out to them even though we had no connections at all. Some were suggested by friends who then provided introductions. As the process