The Promise

      Let what we build here

      Stand the tests of time,

      The tests of this crazy world,

      And the tests of love.

      In your darkest of moments,

      When you can’t seem to find

      the shade of makeup

      to magnify your melanin,

      When the only thing more confusing

      than your past

      is your future

      And the presents

      aren’t coming in fast enough…

      I pray that you will always find your way to

      either the mall

      Or my arms.

      Because anything your money can’t buy

      A good man will make you feel

      like you don’t even need.

      Together we will conquer

      anything life throws at us.

      Use me.

      To heal whichever part of your soul hurts.

      To fill whatever voids some man left

      the day he realized you were

      Too much woman.

      Find Me.

      Or find enough peace, patience, and power

      to reject the things

      you cannot change.

      Enough gas left in the tank

      to drive toward the things you can,

      And enough sober nights to know the difference.

      When you’re at a fork in the road

      Between the woman you are,

      and the woman someone else wants you to be,

      Adjust your crown.

      Remember how long it took for you to get here,

      How hard you fought to become her.

      Promise that who you are,

      who you want to be,

      and whom you decide to love

      Will always be your choice,

      On your terms,

      And never, ever, conflict

      with what you stand for.

      Change

      So when I finally decided on what my next book would be, I was hyped. Just like some of the women, I didn’t know where to go after Dear Woman. Then I came up with The Boyfriend Book. The concept? I felt like Dear Woman left a lot of women single. So, I was going to write a book to “keep them occupied.”

      I came up with the title when I did an interview for a blogger from London. She asked me, if had one wish, what would it be? The first thing that came to mind was, I would wish to meet my wife tomorrow. She thought it was the sweetest thing ever. We went on to talk about why I wanted love so bad, and if I ever thought I would find it. So after I hung up the phone, I sat and I thought, “That’s pretty selfish, to have one wish that you know is going to come true, and you use it to only help you.” So I thought about it some more, and I came up with, “Being every woman’s first boyfriend.” I called the blogger back and told her I wanted to change my answer. At first, she thought I was crazy, but when I broke it down to her, she started crying. That’s when I knew I was onto something…

      I told her, “I want to be every woman’s first boyfriend because I want to set the table, set the bar, set the precedent for what you believe in, for what you call love. That way, at least when we break up, as you will eventually do with every boyfriend who doesn’t become your husband, at least the next person will be a good person.”

      You know that’s how it’s supposed to work, right? Make a list of all the “boyfriends” you’ve had, from the first one till now. Do the relationships get better as you get older? If not, then maybe the problem isn’t in who’s chosen, but in the chooser. So, I had a plan. My next book was going to be me writing a year’s worth of love letters to women. I was going to be their “boyfriend.” Imagine coming home to a book that you could read that was filled with love—filled with hope.

      It was beautiful—until my ninety-eight-year-old grandmother, who is still by the grace of God very much alive and well, asked me what my new book was going to be about. And when I told her